Ugh. Thank you life.

[logansrogue]

Not a good day.

- Boyfriend went back up north yesterday. I miss him already. I always feel so happy in his hugs.
- Waiting to hear about Johnny. It's killing me.
- Had a barney with Dad about money. Apparently I haven't paid him for three weeks. I didn't even realise. I was so busy with my boyfriend last week, and had so many issues with the government that a whole week went by where I didn't even think about money. God, I'm stupid sometimes.
- It's Showtime tomorrow. (Big ass fair taking place across my street, directly, seriously, only fifty metres away from me). Have to keep Rogue inside, and she's trying to get out at every opportunity. I'm scared every time the door opens.
- Running out of food to eat. Not enough food is gluten-free. I feel guilty for spending money on food cause my Dad gets shitty whenever I spend money on anything that's not saving or not paying my way here in the house. I'm at the end of my fucking tether with him. OH, and he yells at me when Mum tells him I'm coming shopping too. He hates it when I go shopping with him. Hypocritical dickweed. I said, "Do you WANT YOUR MONEY?!" Cause how else am I supposed to fucking get it? OSMOSIS?! I CAN'T WALK LONG DISTANCES.
- Heartily sick of being sick. My pelvis is a warzone. I hurt all the fucking time.
- I know it's Spring here, so we're going to have cold days, and cold days are good! But I'm SICK OF FREEZING MY TITS OFF every time I go have a bath or shower. It HURTS it's that cold. Every time I'm cold, my endo just clangs in my pelvis like a freakin' bell of pain. My skin aches. I'm looking SO FORWARD to summer, I can't tell you.
- Want life to stop kicking me in the ass for a little bit. Just a little bit. Please?

ETA: It can't be *too* bad. Johnny's looking a bit better today. I'm not stopping praying though. I'm going to be bothering God like a right born-again this week.

Comments

[gracie-in-greek.livejournal.com]

If I were there, I would make you gluten free pancakes. ♥

[mawaridi.livejournal.com]

How interesting - my pain gets worse when I am too hot, rather than too cold. Just goes to show you how freaking weird this illness is, right?

The situation with your dad sounds frustrating. I am blessed with extremely understanding parents who don't make me pay rent/apply for centrelink payments or pay for my medical bills or the food I eat at home, and sometimes it's a bit startling to see that other people aren't so lucky. *hugs* The gluten free thing in particular is a pain - you are actively trying to change your diet to improve your endo symptoms, surely they should support you in that.

I assume that's why you are gluten free - if you're coeliac or something then there is even more reason for them to be supportive!

I wish cake would survive well in the mail. I would send you gluten-free soy-free vegan low-fat endo-friendly cupcakes :)

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Oh, Mum and Dad are pretty understanding. What I pay is actually helping them pay the utilities and for food. It's not to line their pockets or anything. I only pay 100 bucks a week, which is pretty good going really. It's just sometimes I can't walk into town and get the money cause I'm too sore, and I hate asking Dad to drive me places cause he's a grumpy fuck.

Gluten free because if I eat gluten, I hurt like fuck and bloat and have colon spasms. Whether that's being coeliacs or not, I have no idea. Mum and I just experimented with our diet and figured out that it was better without gluten.

Send me the recipe, it's as good as sending the real thing! ;-D

[asweetdownfall.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry your dad is being such a jerk. :(

And oh Nancy..you're not stupid! Not in the slightest.

[originalnilson.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised that he didn't badger you during the three weeks. Doesn't he realise how forgetful you are sometimes? Lol. I can imagine him getting more and more stressed that whole time and not saying anything. Silly man.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I think the forgets too, and then when he looks at the paper and sees that I haven't paid, thinks I don't want to pay him. And when I express disbelief, he thinks that I think he's trying to con me out of money, he gets hurt that I don't trust him, and it's not that at ALL, I just worry there's been a stuff-up somewhere or someone's forgotten to write something down. Plus I resent having to sign the damned paper when Scotty doesn't. Mum's the safety net now. *sigh* It's sorted out. Oh, and just got a phone call from Mum and talked to Cati. Johnny's looking all right. Not out of woods yet but really working at getting better. Little hero. Cati told me not to worry too much.

[originalnilson.livejournal.com]

That's where the whole yelling at each other thing probably doesn't help :) Hehehe.

Yeah, he was looking like he was starting to come out of it yesterday.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

She bought him an angel toy and sat it on his shoulder. I nearly burst into tears on the phone. I swear, I've been blubbering all day. Talk about your delayed reactions!!