Having and ugly fat day.

[logansrogue]

All the weight I managed to get off has come back. So I'm back to about sixty-six kilos. I have a super zit on my face too. So I'm just feeling really fat, unattractive and disgusting. Feeling incredibly sick too. :(

I went out with Tina and tried to find some clothes today. I forgot to lodge my Centrelink form so I couldn't fucking BUY anything, but I did manage to find things to buy next week when I go there.

I tried on some outfits though that made me feel so awfully fat. :( Just looking in the mirror and seeing the bulge. The most frustrating thing is I WANT to exercise, I WANT to lose weight but my health makes it impossible sometimes.

I'm going to have a bit of a sob, I think, and work on some fic. I just remember how svelte and gorgeous I used to be in my early twenties. I put in my belly-button piercing yesterday when I was showing them to my little niece's cousin and I just thought, "Wow, my piercing looks great, but I'll never flash my belly cause it's so fucking fat."

The only nice thing is the lovely emails I've been getting from this guy I've been talking to. He's really awesome and really quite cute. Lovely brown eyes and full lips. :D

UGH. Okay. I'm going to plan some cutbacks on my carbs and figure out what I CAN do to trim down a bit. Love youse.

Comments

[rantmaster.livejournal.com]

*hugs the sick girl* I was sick recently, with this ugly cold-thing that's gonig around. Still got lingering cough and congestion. Not fun.

I'm sorry about how you feel about your body. I know the problems of body image and weight loss, but I try to keep it in mind that it's more about health, and less about body image. Body image is just society and advertizing and the all-mighty dollar. Lose weight because it's good for you, not so you can fit into a size 0 dress.

I lost 50 pounds last year, and am currently holding steady at 225. Believe it or not, I'm happy with that. If I lose more, great, but it's not critical.

What wrong with your health?

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I never answered this. I'm so sorry.

Uhm - I have endometriosis. It's complicated, there are plenty of websites about it. Main upshot of which - chronic pain. Lots of fun. :T

[greenforest-elf.livejournal.com]

>I just remember how svelte and gorgeous I used to be in my early twenties.

PPPPFTTT you ARE gorgeous sweets!!!

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I love you!!!

[greenforest-elf.livejournal.com]

*hugs and luvs u back*

tis true, u r beautiful inside and out :)

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Thank you :)

[azinazelle.livejournal.com]

Hon have you ever thought of wearing a salwar (an Indian tunic). They're so beautiful, comfortable and are very forgiving of any little bulges or weight gain and loss you might get during a cycle. This is my favorite tunic and as you can see ... I felt beautiful and sexy wearing it. ;) (wish I could have taken one of those guys back to my hotel room as well after the show)

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Hey, NICE SHOT! Though, those guys were probably all batting for the other team. *sigh* *laugh*

[azinazelle.livejournal.com]

All I say is ... if they're batting for the other team WHAT A WASTE! LMAO

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Dude, I KNOW! *wooH*

[helen-jess.livejournal.com]

You should read this book:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beauty_Myth
My best friend Liz put me onto it and although I haven't yet read the whole thing as I don't have my own copy and the library wanted it back - its very interesting.

[azinazelle.livejournal.com]

That is very interesting and in a very real way makes sense. Do any of us feel secure in our bodies? Do any of us walk around and feel empowered, a living embodiment of a goddess? No. We are either too fat, too dark (I know I'm been pressured to dye my hair blonde), too hairy (damn, I have to shave my legs again?) or just are not the "ideal." Because let's face it .. the "perfect" woman is not only unrealistic but unhealthy ... walking anorexic skeletons. But do we have this same standard for men?

Do we demand all men be walking Adonises? Definitely not. They can be imperfect and still have thriving careers and positions with status. Women on the other hand have to be so much at once (perfect mother, wife, daughter, career woman). It's unfair and it's about time we said fuck you to society and love ourselves for who we are.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Oh cool! Thanks, darling! :D

[asweetdownfall.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* :(