The 'Rape' Fantasy

[logansrogue]

Interesting to see women respond to this Dolce & Gabana ad on ONTD.



See, I'm... I'm funny on this issue. I think it's okay for women to have their fantasies. But there's a distinct list of things that I do not fantasise about, that I never will and find extremely disturbing. Those are:

- Abuse
- Rape
- Incest
- Myself being dominated.

Now, maybe it's been my upbringing with my overbearing father making me buck any sort of authority figure or dominance (armchair psychology ahoy) or the fact that I've been brought up by my staunch feminist of a mother, but nothing turns me off more than a male seeking dominance or control. There has only ever been ONE situation where being overpowered by a man in a sexual situation didn't bother me, and that's because I implicitly trusted the man and I knew that he'd rather poke out his own eyeballs than hurt me (or any living thing for that matter). And it was playful anyhow.

I don't *like* being vulnerable. I don't like being reminded of being vulnerable. When I'm naked and in bed with someone, I'd prefer to feel empowered. Not in the sense that I dominate over the other partner - I couldn't stand that. I like two people being intensely excited by the other just being there and the power is in what they do to each other.


Am I nuts? Crazy? Unusual? Let me know what you think.

Comments

[tangofiction.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen the ads but I just have to say: I *totally* agree with you. I don't get the appeal at all. It's kind of rare in the Xena fandom, I think, to find women who are into being dominated (at least straight women) -- but when I tried hanging out in the "Phantom of the Opera" fandom, I found to my surprise that there's plenty of them out there. A lot of it is the usual teen fantasy of a strong powerful male, where a girl is still so insecure in her own sexuality that her fantasies are all about being "done to", rather than actively participating. But what freaked me out far more were the people who are just clearly into male-dom. I understand the need to be tolerant, but I still find it tremendously strange. It's one thing when it's just play-acting for a bit of fun, but the sense of physical helplessness and vulnerability as a turn-on? Um... NO.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I think the closest I've ever come to writing that sort of thing is with either the Ares/Xena pairing and the Logan/Rogue pairing. And even then the women were being respected, even though they were with someone that could overpower them. First, Ares wouldn't risk that sort of bullshit cause, you know - it's Ares! Secondly, Logan is generally the kind of guy to be hyper-protective and possessive rather than aggressive and controlling.

But I'm with you. No, no turn on for me.

[angriest.livejournal.com]

Surely in a Logan/Rogue thing Rogue would suck up all of Logan's powers and become the dominant one?

I don't believe I'm posting about this.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Logan/Rogue fans of the movie kind (the ones I am more aware of) are very creative. Either they just write a situation where her powers are a non-issue or they think of ways for them to touch without touching. (Scarves, body-stockings and condoms are very popular).

Mainly, they worry not about this pesky Marvel "ROGUE SHALL NEVER TOUCH OR BE TOUCHED!" stuff.

Me, I just fantasize about Anna Paquin wearing all leather and beating the shit out of bad guys and fucking Wolverine. Mmmm, tough hot chicks.

[tangofiction.livejournal.com]

Mmm, Xena/Ares as a maledom pairing? Nah. They're about as equal as it gets -- and they're always pretty equal in your fics, actually. Either of them *could* become dominant under some circumstances, but that just adds extra tension to the balance.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

That's why I said 'closest'. Cause it's close but no cigar. I like the fact that the power swings back and forth between them.

Speaking of which, I've been working on some rather awesome scenes in my latest fic, if you're interested. ;-P

[tangofiction.livejournal.com]

'Course I'm interested, but you've been saying that for a while and still no fic. :D

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

No no, ask Sandy, I've been actually writing! :D

[starfyre01.livejournal.com]

It's twue! It's twue! She's been writing! I can verify :-D