I'm a naturally nervous person...
Jan. 28th, 2006 08:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
logansrogueSudden loud noises make me scream (ironic, I know). If someone is suddenly somewhere where I didn't think they'd be (a doorway, whatever), I scream. If I watch a simple MOVIE (particularly action or thriller), I make funny noises and bite all my nails off. I actually had a panic attack when seeing X-Men the movie once in a cinema.
So this crazy crush thing? My heart rate has been through the roof since yesterday morning. It will NOT slow down. Valerian isn't doing much and it's having an impact on me. Logically, in my brain? I'm fine. I wake up with a panic attack with a dash of depression, and it's not until I properly wake up that I calm down a tad and feel okay again. But the heart rate stays. My body is like, "Fuck this - you're in a permanent hypertensive state, bi-otch!"
It's affecting my appetite, I can't sleep, I can't calm down. FUCK. I feel permanently strung out.
All I want to do is lie down and relax. Just... zen out. I have many things I can do this with. Only one of them I feel okay about using. First, I have propranolol. I take half a one of those a day, or I'm supposed to. I haven't taken them lately cause I'm a forgetful punk. Then there's the valium pills I got for my stressy brain-flip the year before last. Don't remember exactly what type of pill they were, but half a one had me zoning out so nicely. Except, I don't want to really depend on drugs for that. Lastly I have relaxing tea. It is a veritable witch's BREW of sedating herbs (chamomile, passionflower, Valerian, catnip, Scullcap, strawberry leaves, peppermint) and can make you feel pretty loose. So I just got to figure out which I want to do. I'm thinking taking an entire pill of propranolol (as opposed to half) and having the tea.
Just checked my pulse again. You'd think that I've just gone for a light run.
Fuck, I am such a hypochondriac, aren't I? LOL!
So this crazy crush thing? My heart rate has been through the roof since yesterday morning. It will NOT slow down. Valerian isn't doing much and it's having an impact on me. Logically, in my brain? I'm fine. I wake up with a panic attack with a dash of depression, and it's not until I properly wake up that I calm down a tad and feel okay again. But the heart rate stays. My body is like, "Fuck this - you're in a permanent hypertensive state, bi-otch!"
It's affecting my appetite, I can't sleep, I can't calm down. FUCK. I feel permanently strung out.
All I want to do is lie down and relax. Just... zen out. I have many things I can do this with. Only one of them I feel okay about using. First, I have propranolol. I take half a one of those a day, or I'm supposed to. I haven't taken them lately cause I'm a forgetful punk. Then there's the valium pills I got for my stressy brain-flip the year before last. Don't remember exactly what type of pill they were, but half a one had me zoning out so nicely. Except, I don't want to really depend on drugs for that. Lastly I have relaxing tea. It is a veritable witch's BREW of sedating herbs (chamomile, passionflower, Valerian, catnip, Scullcap, strawberry leaves, peppermint) and can make you feel pretty loose. So I just got to figure out which I want to do. I'm thinking taking an entire pill of propranolol (as opposed to half) and having the tea.
Just checked my pulse again. You'd think that I've just gone for a light run.
Fuck, I am such a hypochondriac, aren't I? LOL!
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-28 01:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-28 01:33 am (UTC)