Terrible visit to gynae.

[logansrogue]

Well. I finally made that visit to the gynaecologist at King Edward. I was looking so forward to it cause I thought, "Finally, I'll be talking to a real specialist!"

I drove home in tears. I'm so tired and exhausted that I'm just going to paste the letter I wrote the AustEndo mailing list:

Hey all.

I had written out a huge email about my visit and the computer crashed. I just about cried cause it took me so long to type up and I was exhausted from my visit. So I'll put it in point form.

- I saw some guy with very little hair, a UK accent and blue eyes. I forget his name.

- He doesn't think I have endo. He's very certain it's something gastrological. This is the exact opposite thing that my gastroenterologist told me!!!

- He gave me an exam. He was so freaking rough! I actually cried. He felt my stomach and I winced when he dug into my sides. He dismissed that, and the sharp pain up my front. Now, I was already very sore from the speculum (it made me cry). I was very close to begging him to take it out. I told him a couple of times that it really hurt. He took his swab (it felt like forever) then he examined me with his fingers. He was so rough, it really, really hurt. He was pressing down from the top and from inside and it set my whole pelvis off. I felt like I had period cramps but they were way more defensive. I actually had tears in my eyes and let out a little sob.

- I don't think he thinks I need a laparoscopy. To him, it's a sort of "Just making sure" procedure.

- He suggested at one point that I see a Clinical Psychologist. I was so glad my mother was there at that point because I broke down when he said that. It was very insulting because I have never been so sorted out as I am these days.
I just felt so stupid after being htere. I felt like it was all in my head and that I'd never find answers. He kept saying, "Sometimes we just can't find causes for these things."

That depressed me more than words could say. Oh - my life is ruined and "Oh well, we just can't find the cause." I cried all the way home, just sobbing and weeping like a baby. I've been booked in for a laparoscopy and I'm terrified, but I'm booked in at least. I feel like an idiot for having it, since this guy is so damned sure I don't have endo. I asked why, "It just doesn't sound like it to me." He kept calling my reproductive system my 'gynae bits'. Even though the other gynaecologist thought there was a fair chance that I DID have it.

I'm so confused and upset and worked up and in PAIN after that terrible exam. Hell, I don't even feel like I should be *here*, you know?
I think the worst thing is the possibility that they'll never figure out what's wrong and I'm stuck like this! :(

-Nancy.

ETA: I just went to the toilet for a pee. I suspected he made me bleed when I was at the hospital, but just now there was dried blood. A fair good amount of it, too. The son of a bitch DID make me bleed! How dare he be so rough with my pussy! How'd he like it if I jerked his meat and two veg around like that?! Fuck!

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/doctor_k_/]

Oh sweetie. Some doctors really are arseholes, and you don't deserve to have struck one. Just remember that you've seen crap GPs and good GPs - the same is true for O&G registrars. Some are arseholes. Trust me, I've worked with some of them.
If Dr H and your other gynae and the gastroenterologist all think you should have a lap then go do it. Don't let one idiot make you feel guilty for looking for help for your condition.

When's the lap scheduled?

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

28th of March. I talked to my cousin who suffers from endo. She was totally surprised at the way this guy practiced. I'm calming down a lot more but I'm still pretty upset about it.

*hugs* love you heaps.

[lissannej.livejournal.com]

You should report him. You told him repeatedly he was hurting you and it doesn't look as though he listened to a damn word you say. The fact that he was rough enough to hurt you means that he's not a competent doctor -- I'd be speaking to a supervisor at the hospital and reporting his ass. I'm so sorry he hurt you, honey ♥

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I actually bled! I didn't realise till I went to the toilet a minute ago! There was blood! He was all, "Just hang on a moment..." and there was a nurse there and she was comforting me. So I'm sure she'd back up her colleague and say that he was working within the rules. I'm just very sensitive down there, especially lately. No one can fool around down there roughly without it hurting me. Not like that, anyway. Not with speculums and big clumsy digits.

[chocojester.livejournal.com]

I think this guy shouldn't be in his position. He had no right to continue the way you did, and you had said it hurt. This guy is freakin ridiculous! But hon, sometimes it'll feel like the world is collapsing on you, but what you must remain positive about is the fact you have wonderful friends and family who are very supportive and you can turn to when you need them, and know we all love you here *huggles*

If I were you I'd try to report him *nods* *huggles* I'm sorry you feel like this though hon.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Hugs, man. *hug hug hug* It's over and done with now. I just won't ever go back to him.

[mawaridi.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's horrible :( *gentle hugs* I'm sorry you had to go through that. Unsympathetic doctors are upsetting enough, but unsympathetic doctors who hurt you are awful.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I have to constantly remind myself that there ARE good doctors out there and sometimes you just hit a bad one. :)

[originalnilson.livejournal.com]

Shit! I keel him! What a fucker! Made you you bleed GRRRRR. I'm sad I'm not there to give you a hug. So here's a net hug. *big hugs* What an arsehole.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Heh, yeah. I looked for you when I came home, I was all teary and sad. Oh well. *net hug* You can give me a hug when you next see me. Whenever that is.

[windtear.livejournal.com]

Report him! Honestly, even if it was 'within acceptable perameters', it was just and examination and he made you bleed. Nobody can call that 'acceptable'.

Also, "It just doesn't sound like it to me" isn't a valid diagnosis by any stretch. If he can't give you a reason, work off the basis that there isn't one. He doesn't sound like a proper gynae at all.

::hugs::

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I don't want to make waves, I just want to feel better. Mum was pretty angry after the visit. I'm just going to remember not to go to him ever again, that's all.

[strangedave.livejournal.com]

Oh, how crap. *hugs* You are booked in, though, which is important. That should settle the endo question once and for all, if nothing else.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It's a mess, I'm a mess. I'm terrified of the lap and terrified if they don't find anything that I'll never know what's making me feel so bad and terrified that if they DO find something then that means I really do have endo and I'll never have a cure for this. See? Guh.

[mix-o-choc.livejournal.com]

What I suggest if you are so inclined is to put in an official complaint. Nothing may come of it but in the very least the wheels will be turning and if he treated you the way he did it's a good chance he has done the same to others and this will be another mark on his name. Trust me if you do nothing then think about the next woman he's gonna hurt.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

You really think that's necessary? I mean, I'm probably a bit too sensitive below, that's all.

[berenicepotter.livejournal.com]

GRRR!!! DXXX What an IDIOT!!! *wants to kick his ass* >_< I'm so sorry, Nancy!!! *hugs you tighly*

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

*hugs her Ledie friend*

[miconic.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear that. What an ass. I repeat what the rest are saying; you should report him. Doctors are meant to save lives, not hinder them. Wanker.

Make some hell, woman.

[cerulean-girl.livejournal.com]

Hey Nancy, I'm so sorry to hear you had such an awful time at the doctor! The bleeding is disconcerting. I'd tell him about that, actually. A pelvic exam isn't fun at the best of times. My doctor was really good, used a paediatric speculum and everything but I hurt a lot afterward anyway, for a few days I wasn't 100%. So maybe it's supposed to hurt after an exam if things aren't right down there. Which you can't get a straight answer about until you've been operated on.

In any case I think it'd be a really good idea to get a second opinion, possibly from someone recommended by a girlfriend or something, before your op. I'd offer you mine, but you'd have to fly to Melbourne. I really really hope you get your answers, and feel better soon.

[pooxs.livejournal.com]

yeah, same with me - when I was having pain issues my gynae used a paediatric speculum just because he could see I was tensing from the (minimal compared to yours) pain.

definately report him, that is just not on.

*hugs* hope things work out soon

[annearchy.livejournal.com]

Shit. Moron. Can't you find a woman gynecologist?? Rarrr. *pets you*

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I did find a woman one. Unfortunately she's 120 bucks an appointment.

[starfyre01.livejournal.com]

Jeez, Nancy! I'm sorry that you had such a rough time with what was clearly a quack (at least to me - and you got the crack about seeing a pyschologist AGAIN! WTF?!). I'm with the others - report the SOB because if he's done something like this to you, he's bound to have done it to others and will continue to do so in the future.

(((Nancy)))

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

It's not worth reporting, I'm just too sensitive down there, is all.

[myemmie.livejournal.com]

I agree with everyone else. You shouldn't convern yourself with "making waves" -the fact of the matter is, he made you bleed. I've worked with a lot of ob/gyn doctors, and a normal evaluation would never (never!!!) be cause for bleeding. So, one of two things happened: he was far too rough, or there *is* something wrong, that would make you so succeptable to bleed. And I don't care how big a gastro problem it is - a gastro issue is not going to make your "gyno bits" bleed.

He's a twit, and you should report him. For being to rough, or for dismissing you outright - either way. A report is not necessarily going to cause legal ramifications, at least not immediately - as someone else said, it's just going to flag him, so that if multiple people report him, a trend can be tracked.

I'm so sorry that he was awful. That is the last thing that you (or anyone) would need in this situation. Go to the laproscopy, and in the mean time book with another GYN. He doesn't deserve anyone's patronage. *hugs*

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

*nods* Yeah. I'll talk to my friend Karen about it (hey K!). I just - *sigh* I don't want to be causing problems for something that's not worth it, you know?

[nicoli-dominn.livejournal.com]

God, what an asshole! He needs to be kicked in the balls, seriously...I'm sorry he hurt you. :-( He didn't sound very professional at ALL.

I hope you can see someone else; maybe they'll be more helpful. ::hugs::

[simons-flower.livejournal.com]

That doctor was awful. It sounds like he had absolutely no bedside manner, let alone clinical manner if he made you bleed. There has to be something you can do to report him -- no way should you have bled with a pelvic exam.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I've never had endo (thankfully, given everything else I do have), so I can't say I know what it feels like, but there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel soon.

From your description, it seems he's one of those gynacologists who think endo doesn't exist.

[sl_walker]

That's when you plant a boot right in his motherfucking face. ::shakes her head:: I'm really sorry you had to suffer that. When I went in to have my daughter, my doc hurt me too. Next time someone does, I'll hurt back.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Eeeh, I haven't heard from you for ages! *gives you a huge hug* I'm friending you right back!

I won't ever put up with that shit again, I swear. Next time I'll tell someone to stop when it hurts and let me get my head in the game, you know? I'd barely prepared!! Arse-wipe!

[kellygreen.livejournal.com]

Jesus. If you ever see that guy again, my vote goes for kicking him in the nads as hard as you can. I agree with what was said up there: you really should report him. I reported a really awful radiologist I had, and according to my oncologist I'll be dealing with the head of radiology from now on lol. I just don't understand why some doctors become doctors in the first place, when they so obviously don't give a shit about their patients. *hugs* I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I also agree with what was said up there about getting 1)a second opinion and 2) a female gyno. My gynocologist is a male, but he's almost too gentle...it's like he's completely terrified of hurting me, which is a good thing. But a woman would definitely be more compassionate, given that she's got a vag as well. You said that she's $120 per appointment, which sucks, but maybe it's worth it to shell out a bit of extra cash so you can find out what's really going on without feeling mutilated at the end. Best of luck, sweets. *hugs again*

[girlguitarist.livejournal.com]

I've been to a lot of idiot doctors, but never anything as bad as this. Like everyone else said, you need to report him. Imagine how much pain you might save other girls if you spoke up.

I hope you have luck with this. It's sad to see it's still such a battle to be believed when you have (even potentially) endo. My mom had a horrible time in the eighties when she found out she had it - women were afraid to contact her because they thought it was an STD, or a mental illness - so it's so dissappointing to see not much has changed. Maybe you should go to a psychiatrist... so they can tell the doctors that it's not in your head!

[nousia.livejournal.com]

*huge hugs*

And I second everything that kellygreen said.

Some male doctors, I swear..

[indi-kayt.livejournal.com]

That's so fucking wrong *is angry*

You should complain. Make him lose his licence. Arsehole.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Nothing substantial enough for that. I'll just know better for next time.

[japester.livejournal.com]

er... abuse lawsiut springs to mind?
or malpractice?
or just fucking insane? or just practicing, like all the other incompetents out there.

this has been going on way too long for anyone's good, let alone you. Fuck.
Doctors are supposed to be gentle creatures. Rough ones get put out to pasture, or sent to the military.
I'd make a formal complaint. to KEMH at least.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

People keep saying that but I wouldn't even know where to START.

I'm going in for a laparoscopy on the 28th of March. I'll be checked inside for endo.