Doctor woes and Artistic Self-Esteem issues.

First things first:

My Doctor was full up today. Had no free appointments. I have to see him tomorrow, at five pm. The *best* thing? It's the last appointment before he goes on holiday!

...

FUCK!

He's the only doctor I trust. I've had bad experiences with other doctors there, in getting taken seriously to getting the proper medical certificates for my problems. I have no idea what I'm going to do, I just feel like breaking down and bawling. I might have to phone up and make an appointment with someone else cause, seriously, I don't like to sit around if I have blood pressure issues.

I just wish I had my health back. I miss it so much.

~~*~~

I'm having a dip in my confidence as far as art is concerned. I have high expectations on myself and when I sit down to draw, I don't like what I get. I tried drawing the first couple of pages of my comic The Muse yesterday and just got so frustrated I wanted to cry. And it was only the scrap!

I have pictures to do for my little spot in the exhibition for Swancon. How am I to do them if I have no confidence in myself? I just feel like I suck totally. :( I know I don't, but I know that I have to improve, that there's a range of things I can't do. It affects me emotionally and that inteferes with my ability to draw. My lines lose their firmness and I get down on myself. I end up collapsing in a heap and crying half the time. I have to work past this. Maybe doing some anatomy work will help me out. *sigh* I should drag my sister over and get her to let me draw her. :T