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[personal profile] logansrogue
First things first:

My Doctor was full up today. Had no free appointments. I have to see him tomorrow, at five pm. The *best* thing? It's the last appointment before he goes on holiday!

...

FUCK!

He's the only doctor I trust. I've had bad experiences with other doctors there, in getting taken seriously to getting the proper medical certificates for my problems. I have no idea what I'm going to do, I just feel like breaking down and bawling. I might have to phone up and make an appointment with someone else cause, seriously, I don't like to sit around if I have blood pressure issues.

I just wish I had my health back. I miss it so much.

~~*~~

I'm having a dip in my confidence as far as art is concerned. I have high expectations on myself and when I sit down to draw, I don't like what I get. I tried drawing the first couple of pages of my comic The Muse yesterday and just got so frustrated I wanted to cry. And it was only the scrap!

I have pictures to do for my little spot in the exhibition for Swancon. How am I to do them if I have no confidence in myself? I just feel like I suck totally. :( I know I don't, but I know that I have to improve, that there's a range of things I can't do. It affects me emotionally and that inteferes with my ability to draw. My lines lose their firmness and I get down on myself. I end up collapsing in a heap and crying half the time. I have to work past this. Maybe doing some anatomy work will help me out. *sigh* I should drag my sister over and get her to let me draw her. :T

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-29 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asweetdownfall.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry, Nancy :(

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-29 07:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] demosthenes91.livejournal.com
I don't know what to tell you about the doctor, luv. I'm freaked out myself about seeing a new doctor for the first time in a year and half tomorrow morning, but it has to be done. If you're not comfortable with whoever you end up with, at least get the immediate crap looked at before your 'safe' doc comes back from vacation. You can even tell 'new' doc about the concerns you have with new doctors in general - the issues you've had in the past, etc. I don't know if it'd help, but at least the new doc would be aware of your concerns.

*hugs*

As for your art, I know the feeling of not getting what you want out of it. I sometimes get to the point where I'll buy sketchbooks and then leave them blank because I don't think my 'art' is good enough to doodle in there. It's a horrible feeling, but the only way past it is to keep doing it. Doodle, sketch, do still life, anatomy, etc.... whatever it takes to loosen you up so you can get in there and lose all sense of time around you. Keep at it, even if you're not happy with it at first... it'll come back to you. It has to.

Big hugs, babe!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-29 05:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] logansrogue.livejournal.com
Thanks, darlin', your words are very comforting. *hugs* I'm always like this when I have a huge body of work ahead of me.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-29 01:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greenforest-elf.livejournal.com
hey sweety,

I drive 45 mins to see my dr on canning hwy in point walter (med centre her name is Dr Parsons)... she is the ONLY dr I trust and is just amazing.

She is very very very understanding, and thankfully back from a long holiday.

I HATE all the drs near me, they just dont have a frigging clue. Dr Parsons treats you like a person and actually is CONCRNED for your health (bulk bills if need be too).

I wouldnt be as happy as I am today without her, she is also good for recomending 'other' stuff other than drugs (ie looks at diet, and if you are into alternative stuff she can point you in the right direction...)

*hugs*


(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-29 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] logansrogue.livejournal.com
Thanks, hon. I don't think my Dad would take the time to drive me all the way to Pt Walter. (It's not far to me, but it is to him). But it's very nice of you to recommend her to me. Hopefully I'll find another doctor at my practice that's not got a head full of cheese. :T

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-30 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] berenicepotter.livejournal.com
You will have your health back, I have that hope *hugs*

And I totally understand you on the art thing. Sucks big time. But you know you can do it.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-30 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] logansrogue.livejournal.com
*hugs* Thanks, babe! :)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-01-30 01:50 am (UTC)

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