Hey, hey party people!

Guess what woke me up at 5:30 am in the morning by creeping insidiously into my dreams and making me stir from my gentle oblivion?

Period cramps!

You betcha. And I'd slip back off to sleep again and BACK they'd come! Aaaand it looks like they're here to stay, too. Not painful enough that I'm actualy panicking cause I can't deal with the pain (it's very close, though), but not painless enough that I can use the computer comfortably or even lie down and read. I end up squirming cause no matter what I do, the pain won't. GO. AWAY.

*clutches heat pack* Relaxation and calm. That is what I need. Maybe even a good wank because (oh don't be silly! I don't even need to go inside to get off!) for approximately five minutes (the pain doesn't go away until the five minutes of lead up to bliss and actual bliss) I don't feel anything but of the good. Fuck. This is really TMI isn't it? Well you know what? Right now - don't care. Am of the not caring. Too much pain and ow-ow-ow-MUMMY! for that. Wish I had a laptop. I'd write my stories in bed in fevered anguished throes, like some poet dying of the clap. Except I wouldn't be dying and I'd have technology on my side, so I could go back and delete anything that sounded a little too pretentious. (oooh, all of it?).

Okay. Am going to try to get back to sleep again. Read some of Nigel Tranter's Robert the Bruce trilogy. Can get a bit dry in parts but oh. My. God. Robert/Elizabeth? Soooo Harry/Hermione, it's not funny. Fer. Real.

I do that full stop thing a lot this morning. Gotta find another way to express my vehemence.

Mermaiiid!

Cutest Ariel ever!

*happy glow*

Mmm, chocolate, sweet chocolate. With a heatpack and two mercyndol, it's JUST the thing to take the edge off. *melts*

AwwwmaGooood...

I'm a frigging eedyot. I tell you why. This is why. Ready? I'm ready.
Okay so I was in pain. Happens a lot at this time of month. And then I thought, "Shit. I hate pain. Pain likes me but I don't like pain. I'm going to tell pain where to go with a nice fat dose of codiene and doxysomethingmakesmefeelgood. Yeaaah." I took one.

I had some pasta. I talked to someone on the phone for an inordinately long time. I drank milo with coffee (moffee). Now. Still in pain. So I thought, "Fuck, I'll take another."

I don't know WHY. Maybe because I'd had enough of that lovely feeling of being poked in the ovary with a very sharp metal spike. Helen had said to me once, "You shouldn't take so much. It should dull the pain, you can't get rid of all the pain."

Yeah well the pain wasn't dull. So I took another.

Now I'm very relaxed, as is described on the packet. A calmative. I'm very fucking calm. And I realised only after I'd swallowed the motherfucking pill that I have a doctor's appointment at 4:15. So he's going to see me:

a) cranky
b) high
c) in pain

And it's not going to be pretty. At all. I really feel like an idiot. Ohhh a wave of sore cramps just come on. I ouch. I just wish I could sleep, sleep would be nice. Heh. I can type with my eyes closed. That's so much fun.

Love youse alls.

SO FUCKING MAD!!!

Hey everyone.

I had the most infuriating visit with my GP this afternoon. He's seen me throughout the whole three-four months that I've been having these pains for. He's had me go have ultrasounds, fair enough. He's had me see the gastroenterologist. Perfectly understandible. Then he had me go see a gynaecologist. Great idea.

I went to him today, explaining that my gynae had put me on a bad run of pills and that I didn't want to go on the next lot she prescribed me because if that didn't work she'd send me over to King Edward Memorial Hospital for a laparoscopy, and they'd probably put me on a bunch of pills beforehand anyway.

So I asked my doctor if I could see the endometriosis specialist at KEMH instead of having to go on yet another pill which will cause spotting (which I don't want at all!). He nodded and then said, "So why are you here?"

Okay, so I was doped up on mercyndol because I'm on my periods, but he pretty much nodded, wrote stuff down and asked me why I'd come to see him. I said that I'd run out of migraine pills and that I needed more, and I'd mentioned I wasn't well because I was on my periods. He asked what that was like and I told him how bad it was. That no kind of painkiller could put a dent in the pain and the only reason why mercyndol do me any good is because they knock me out so I don't feel a thing.

You know what he does? Guess. Just guess. He prescribes me anti-inflammatories!! Even though I'd told him TWO SECONDS AGO that they didn't work!!!

So he sees me off and I stop in the door. "Were you going to refer me to King Edward?"

"Are you sure you want to do that?" he asks me.

I blink. I'm a little off my face thanks to the doxyfeelgood stuff in the mercyndol, but I'm with it enough to nearly blow a gasket.

"I've been in pain for three months, nearly four! I've had enough! I just want to know what this is, whatever it is! I want an answer!"

So he toddles off to his desk and says that he will refer me. I didn't mean to get so mad but for GOD'S SAKES. After four months, you think this guy would have a fair idea of what I'm going through! He'd looked at me like I was overreacting and I'd had enough of that - I just lost it! But in a constructive way.

I want to thank you all here for helping me keep my mind together cause it really helped me put my foot down in that office. I was worried I'd overreacted till I got home and told my Mum about it and she said I'd done the right thing.

I'm just so mad about the whole thing. I feel sorry for any women that aren't as loud and pushy as I am - they could have something wrong and not know it!

...
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FUCK!!!!

Interesting meme...

You have the Goya girl look. A Goya girl had an air
of extreme elegance and sophistication. They
liked richness of every kind. The artists
excelled in painting brocades and tapestry,
cloth of gold and silver, gauzy fabrics and
black lace. You could have modeled for the
great Spanish painters, such as Valasquez and
Goya. Both were painters to the royal court of
Spain.


'Pretty As A Picture' - Which Artist Would Paint You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I like this cause I got something I wouldn't except yet am very pleased with. Goya's cool. And freaky. :) Hopefully I'd be in his less frightening pieces!

GAAAAH!

The boys, those piggy pigs, ATE ALL MY CHOCOLATE! Okay, it was the family's chocolate, by laying down, reading Robert the Bruce and slowly nibbling on a choc-chip caramel slice was the ONLY thing that made the pain bearable!! Made me feel a little better!! Now I have NOTHING!

*sobs*

Interesting stuff...

I'm thinking of doing a drawing and I thought Lilith might be an interesting subject. I was reading about her and there's lots of negative things about her and it's disappointing because she's so sure of herself and I like that about her. It's typical that she had to be made evil, isn't it? Stupid men of old and their insecurities. Her stories are the very embodiment of that, really. Fear of the sexual woman.

I love this line:

Men who experienced nocturnal emissions during their sleep believed they had been seduced by Lilith and said certain incantations to prevent the offspring from becoming demons. It was thought each time a pious Christian had a wet dream, Lilith laughed.

Oh man, Lilith ain't the only one laughing! *giggle-snort*

Okay. So - what do you know of Lilith? What cool things have you to tell me? Share, I'd like to know!

ETA: http://www.lilitu.com/lilith/khephtoday.html I like this woman's views on Lilith. Very awesome!