*stress*

[logansrogue]

In the past few days things have rushed up at me. There are things that bother me that there are no easy answers to, things that bother me that make my head hurt.

I'm 25 this year. 25. I'm going to be thirty so very soon. What have I got to show for myself? What? Not enough. My friends have long-time partners, university degrees, good jobs, their own places, their own lives. I still live with my parents. I still share a room with my sister. I'm still painfully single and very inexperienced.

My so-called manager has turned out to be a lying cheating fraud, and I'm back to square one. Music is my life and while I've got some great recordings, I don't know WHAT to do with them.

And I'm so very poor. Everything I use, everything I have - the internet, computers. It's Mum's, not mine. The only thing here that IS mine is the drawing pad and the headphones. Oh, and the huge pile of action figures sitting on top of the fucking monitor.

I'm so tired of never having enough money. I'm so tired of never having the right clothes to wear. I'm so fucking tired of not being able to DO things with people because I haven't two gold coins to rub together. The idea of having a spare hundred bucks to waste on a weekend is SO very foreign to me. To me, fifty bucks is a LOT OF MONEY.

I can't find a job. I keep applying, and I keep not hearing back from people. I'd do a course, but I'm not eligible for help from the government. I'm living off the bones of my fucking ARSE and I'm not eligible for financial help. They're idiots. Don't they know that I will NOT GET WORK without a good computer course? I need administration skills and databasing and coding. I'm just - I'm always behind the fucking eight-ball.

I'm tired of my opportunities collapsing under me, yet I'm too stubborn to give up and cry. There's just no time for that anymore.

Tomorrow will come and go and before I know it, I might be too old to get married, too old to be a singer/songwriter girl, too old to be anything but a woman living at home with her mother, a snarky old prune like Marge's sisters from the Simpsons.

Comments

[river-soul.livejournal.com]

*hug*

I think that you should do something with drawing because your sketches, painting,and ect are all quite beautiful. I've always admired you for that talent. (I just want to give my support you know :) ).

Anyway, good luck with the job hunt and I'm sure you won't end up like Marges sisters, you're much too pretty!

[riverstar.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
i know what its like
i also have no degree and cant find work
and the only reason i get centrelink is because i got off my ass and moved out of home

not much to live on... and i want work!

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I know. And it's so frustrating because nobody gives you a chance. Nobody wants to take that risk, and they don't have to because there are plenty of qualified people to choose from. And then the government gets heavy on you, like it's your fault you don't get work, when really, you can't help it if you're not picked, even if you do try for things. So frustrating.

[muddgutts.livejournal.com]

Ok I don't know you too well, but I'll give you some advice if you'll have it, because I was very much in the same boat not too long ago.

First off you live at home. Thats ok, really it is. Lots of my friends did or are doing the same. It's so expensive to get your own place these days. I couldn't do it on my own, I had to team up with friends and we all got a small place together. It sucked and it smelled, but I was free.

No job. A illustrator friend of mine I went to school with was out of work for a year before he got a job. It was a graphic design postion making covers for anime-porns, but what the hell it's work. Your talented, you have so much passion in your art that I'm sure it will take you somewhere. Beleave in yourself and your work, and you will come out on top in the end.

The fine print about work and art. It doesn't matter how good your art or music is when it comes to getting a job. It's who you know, and anyone that tells different is a fraud. Case in point. the friend I spoke of earlier is a great artist. One of the best in my class at collage, but his people skills suck. He comes off too proud and thinks he's above everyone else. well that just turns employers off right away. Who wants to work with a arse like that? Now in my case I took a unpaid job at one of my teachers studios for three month while in school. I did what ever she asked me to do. I never said anything, I just watched and learned. One day she asked me to come to a Art Directors party in Manhatten with her. Hell Yeah I'll go! I mixed and mingled with tons of important people in publishing, and in the end no one talked to me. My teacher took me around the party with her arm around me and introduced me to lots of people. Suddenly people wanted to hear what I said and started being very nice to me. Three weeks later I got my job at HarperCollins Publisher, and I'm still here.
The point is you seem to be a very nice person, and if I can see that from the other side of the planet then I'm sure when you meet the right employer they will see it too. Have faith in yourself and your work and you will go far.

This also holds true for your relationships your attractive and talented, unless people are threatened by this then theres no reason why you'll be alone. Believe me you will find the right person. Give it time and enjoy life and love will find you when it's ready. ok

please don't be sad, you make us all so happy with your work.

*hugs*
Victor

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

please don't be sad, you make us all so happy with your work.

*smiles* That's one of the most beautiful things anyone can say, it really is. *hugs* I'm working on being happy - it's never easy. Thank you!

[muddgutts.livejournal.com]

Yes! I made you smile. Now I'm happy, because I would hate to think that life is so cruel to keep such a spirited person down. Cheers.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Life? Keep me down? Never! It'll upset me from time to time, but I'm too stubborn to let it stop me from doing the things I love, never you mind! :)

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know where you live, but it used to be in California that turning 25 and not having a job meant the government would start granting you cash to go to school. I was in the state college system and didn't pay for the last half of my undergrad work.

Computers: computer internships used to pay quite well at Hewlett-Packard (to the tune of $18/hr.) I did I lot of database work there. After the summer was over, I came back to school and telecommuted half time.

All this information is 6-7 years old, so who knows what the state of affairs is now.

I started off at a junior college and transferred in to the state system; no shame there. It was cheap. Living at home when you're a student helps a lot--my folks agreed to let me live at home rent-free if I went to school. That was a good plan.

It's never too late to go back to school. If you want to do that, just take the first step (go to the web site and apply) and get the ball rolling. The rest will fall into place. Hell, I'm considering going back to get a PhD. Four more years? We'll see. I don't want to be stuck programming for the rest of my life.

Most people I know consider any time in the 20s to be still "young". So you can graduate from school with a BA or BS and still be quite young. :)

Marriage. Don't rush it unless you really want it to be a disaster. Seriously. This is something that's just got to happen in its own time. Because you can't rush it any more than having normal relationships, it's really not something to worry about. Worry about having a normal healthy relationship instead.

Finally, use your successes in life to help give you the emotional strength to move forward.

-B

PS. You are a very good writer. Ever think of pursuing that?

PPS. When I was 25 I had a divorce, no job, and was living in a three bedroom apartment with three other people. But I was going to school. That was my excuse, and I played it for a long time.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Oh - heavens. I don't want to get married. I live in Perth, Australia. Getting money out of the government is like trying to get blood out of a stone. Here, there is a system called HECS fees, where the government pays your university fees for you until you can pay them back (when you start making a certain amount of money) but I think they're getting rid of that or something. :T Besides, I want to go to TAFE, which is like a tech college. Better job prospects that way.

Thanks for your advice! I actually *like* being single, and I enjoy my life immensely, but being 25, I hear I should have moved on from this by now. It's like I'm in a holding pattern of teenageness. Probably not the best thing for my mental health, really. I feel so childish around other people my age. Then again, a lot of people my age are dreadful bores. :( They never have any fun!

Being single

[splanky.livejournal.com]

Hi Nancy, don't know if you remember me - we met at JP's birthday party. You admired my corset.

Have you considered internet singles sites? A lot of people I know use them. That is how my sister met her husband. Hasn't worked for me yet, but I'm hoping. I did meet a guy who is now one of my best friends through internet dating.

www.rsvp.com.au is quite popular. A 24-year-old with your looks and writing skills should generate a lot of interest from guys.

Kylie

Re: Being single

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Hi there Kylie! Hmm, I'm very reluctant to use those things. My attitude towards guys (or girls) is sort of - you can't look for love. Love will come along when you're ready. I figure it will happen when it's supposed to. And really? I despise dating!! I really hate dates! I like getting to know someone at parties and being friends with them first, and then dating them. (That's what I did with Furrie). Maybe that's a safety net for me, I don't know. The other thing is that I'm really very happy single, I just wonder if people think - I don't know - that' I'm immature or something. I mean, I worry that I won't find someone, who doesn't when they're single? But if I can't find someone that makes me happy, then I don't mind. Cause really - very few people understand me. Most guys just don't get me at all and it's very very frustrating. I guess I just need to move to a bigger city. :T Anyway.

Thanks for leaving a comment, thanks for caring, it's so very sweet of you. See you around! *hugs*

Re: Being single

[splanky.livejournal.com]

It's whatever works for you. Internet dating worked for my sister and I hope it will for me. I'm in a bit of a different position from you - I'm nearly 33, divorced and I want to have a family. I have met most of my exes at parties and got to know them that way. But I figure what the hell, got nothing to use and maybe love can use a helping hand sometimes.

It's good that you are happy being single!

[spikesbuffy.livejournal.com]

*squashes Nace*

SELMA!!!

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

PATTY!! *hugs*

[shirasade]

When I'm 25, I'll still live at home, too, because that's when I'll finish school, if everything works out as planned. Only not, because I'll get a second degree right afterwards, because no one wants to employ an anthropologist who does not want to do anthropological studies.

We're lucky in Switzerland - university is almost free, compared to countries like the US and Australia, and no one ever wants us to pay it back. Could you maybe take computer classes at community college or something? So you have something to put on your CV. And what someone else here said about connections - that's so true! I'm kind of hoping myself that either during my internship next summer or when I'm abroad I'll manage to meet people who can help me find a job one day...

All I know is that there's a time and place for everything in life - and you've got the talent, you've got the looks, someone is bound to notice. Both professionally and personally. My parents met when my mom was 39 and had resigned herself to a life of spinsterhood - I was born when she was barely 41 and they're still together...

God, I so suck at giving advice, don't I? Just know that I believe in you. *hugs*

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You're very good at it. I'm so lucky to have such lovely people to give me hugs and let me know they understand. I feel very blessed!

[-mysteria-.livejournal.com]

Oh hun, I can identify with your words more than you'll ever really know.

You have so much talent you deserve to have your big break. Have you ever thought of sending some of your recordings to local radio stations?

Or maybe, if there are some local art galleries or craft centres, you could see if they are interested in selling some of your work.

I know how difficult it is to get your name *out there*, but it's just a mater of plugging away at every avenue, however unlikely it sounds. You never know when success will hit you.

[arquiloren.livejournal.com]

I know opinions from strangers is probably the last thing you need, but I read your post at my friendsfriends list and it really hit home, and I just thought I could help by saying, you're not alone. Not at all.

I'm turning 25 in less than a month. I still live with my parents. I do have a job, but it's a far cry from what I thought I'd be doing 2 1/2 years ago when I graduated. I love my profession (architecture), and I love music. I studied piano for ten years, and I think I could've made it pretty big if only I kept at it, but I had no time. So I feel mediocre in the things I love, and that's the worst part.

About work, I think there's still a lot of time to grow professionally and maybe someday work independently and be successful, but as for the music (which I think I like even more), I think it's too late. And it hurst to think about that. It's too late to retake the discipline and recover the ability I had 6 years ago, and I think it would be too risky if I left my current profession in order to focus completely on this (you can find more good jobs as an architect than as a pianist). Plus, I have a ridiculous fear of public, which is another thing that's keeping me from playing with audiences (go figure).

I am planning on going to another country to study a degree. I have already applied and am just waiting for an answer. It'd be the first time I'd be on my own. Even more than the degree, it's the independence that made me do this. In my city (and whole country culture) it's quite normal for a girl my age to still live with her parents. Most do it until they get married. Actually, it's a little frowned upon if she moves out just because of the independence. I am not like this. I've lived with this terrible feeling of frustration because I don't want to go against my family wishes. That is why I'm going away to study (that's the excuse ;)). The question is, how will I do to come back and not to my parents'.

Sorry I made this so long. Or too personal. I just wanted you to see that you are not alone. Most times, we feel like this when we see friends that are already settled down either professionally or personally. And maybe it's not what they're doing that we want, but that they seem so satisfied with it.

I've seen your work. You have a lot of talent. You just have to pursue it, and don't let things or people get you down. Hey, we are still young. We still can do a lot, even if it doesn't seem like it.

[blackkitty13.livejournal.com]

I'm 22 and I'm still living with my parents, too. That's okay for me. My parents are my only "real" family. I've got no siblings and no (nice and caring, but evil) relatives. I don't feel bad for still living at home. I do my part of the housework, while my Dad does all the shopping and earns most of the money. My Mum is very ill since years and can't work. And though I have no driver's license (I have an eye cataract and am shortsighted in additiion) I can't apply for many jobs I personally COULD do if they were nearer. So all I do is working three days a week as a tutor for children's care in our local highschool. That makes about 200 bucks a month. I'm fine with that (having no car saves A LOT of money), altough we're no rich people either. No holidays in Spain or elsewhere. We're always at home. Alright... I haven't seen much of the world by now. But as long as that doesn't bother me, it's okay. I might not live in luxury, but I never asked our government for money either...

Why do I tell you all that? Well, maybe it makes you feel better. NO ONE is of minor value only because s/he has no (real) job and still lives with their parents.

And you never know what the future brings. But never stop dreaming, dear. One day some will come true. Not all your dreams, of course. But some. Maybe some more... ^.^

Ah, 25

[vesper2000.livejournal.com]

I'm 29. At your age, all the things you describe are not only okay, but perfectly normal.

Enjoy it.

Re: Ah, 25

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Okay. Uhm. I like your Kitty of Borg. She is tres cool. :)

Re: Ah, 25

[vesper2000.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

[likebunnies.livejournal.com]

You have plenty of time to be whatever you want to be! There are worse things than living at home at 25. I still have days where I wish I could move home! I think you are immensely talented at so many things and you have an incredible personality and something will work out for you. I know it will. *hugs*

[apolla.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Love you, mate. And 'too old' doesn't really exist- it's a myth handed down to us by the Establishment.

And while I'm here: You're fabulous and fabulous things happen to such fabulous people.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

*^_^* Thank you *hugs* I feel so loved, it's making my head go, "Wheeeeeeeeee!!"

[fyrdrakken]

26, single, employed but at something of a deadend job that I'm overeducated for, also living at home with my mother, vague ideas of where I might go from here but questioning whether I'm sufficiently motivated to do so.

And I hear a lot of similar sentiments from my friends' list. No worries. It's normal for people in their twenties to be evaluating their lives and going, "Hang on, I'm finally a grownup now -- is this how I want the rest of my life to be?" And there are worse things than living with parents or being single. (Given the number of horrendous relationships I've seen -- and the women who stayed with men they should have shown the door a long time ago out of a fear of being single -- there are worse things than being solo. Not that I'm not wishing myself...)

[originalnilson.livejournal.com]

I'm Homer. Even though I'm unbelievably stupid, people can't help but like me. And I have a strange obsession with food.

"But they said it was all you could eat!"

when you're old & grey.

[(Anonymous)]

Heya, stop being so mopey it's not the end of the world... yet!

Job:
Okay so your ideal job isn't panning out. But having any job is better than having no job, the income will help you feel better & will mean you can pay for TAFE etc (I guess what I'm saying is go for the fantastic jobs you want but also go for the other jobs that you wouldn't mind doing but aren't fantastic too) Also some places will let you do a course & then pay them back when you work for that company.

Singledom:
Bah! Do you know how many people I know that are single & over the age of 25? Over the age of 30? A damn lot. In fact most of the coupled friends I have are under the age of 30. Why get into a relationship with someone just for the hell of it because you want to be in a relationship rather than you wanting to be with that particular person? (In otherwords don't worry about it, give it time & you'll meet someone) Also try to hang out with single people rather than couples becuase you are more likely to meet other single (& potential partners) that way.

that is all for now.
-L.

[nephron.livejournal.com]

I know that office work isn't the most exciting thing, but if you're happy to start doing a basic office work job- like a receptionist or something- look at doing some volunteer work for experience. Even a couple of months of a day or two a week of working at an office for a charity or something does wonders for your hiring prospects.

And 24, or 25 isn't old. Just ask my sister :D

~Sarah