I get the weirdest pick-up lines...

[logansrogue]

Today's offering from OKCupid:

Hey Babe.
Have u got Jesus in your heart?

O, how I'm tempted to answer that in various sacreligious ways. Let's see...

- Sure. He's chillin' with Hathor and Aphrodite.
- In my heart *and* my loins. I love a man with dark long hair and a beard.
- Is he ever! Jewish men are my kryptonite!
- Yes. I also have Thoth in my brain, Aphrodite in my vag and Thor in my fists.

I'm guessing he won't like any of those, so I won't answer his goofy pick-up line. But seriously, why do I get these strange offerings?

Comments

[hmsharmony.livejournal.com]

Okay, you just won the Internet for the responses you came up with. I'm sitting here dying of laughter. XD

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

*careful-fistbump-cause-Thor's-in-a-mood*

[im-an-aaangel.livejournal.com]

Oh that is a hot line. Have u got Jesus in your heart or are you happy to see me?

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Why no, that's Eros in my pants.

[wazira-sharira.livejournal.com]

Apparently he does not have Athena in his head, because using the letter U by itself as a word is unwise.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

If he had Athena in his head he wouldn't have mentioned Jesus in his first line to me.

Believe me, the 'u' is the least of his problems. I've had some pick up emails where the 'u' might be the high point.

[wazira-sharira.livejournal.com]

Well, that destroyed my faith in humanity. "U" as a word is one of my pet peeves.

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

I find Babe more offputting than Jesus.

(... and I'm not even Jewish boom TISH)

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it! I would only let a man I was VERY close with call me 'babe'. My brother-in-law calls my sister 'babe', and it's totally sweet when he does it because they've been together for over twenty years and he is a total feminist buddhist type guy. If a guy used that word, with me, like my b-i-l does, then I'd be cool with it.

But not off the cuff before I have even had a conversation with them. That's just rude.

And never, ever, under any circumstances, 'baby'. Unless they're singing a karaoke track of "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" or something. And even that is stretching it.

[bewarethespork.livejournal.com]

"Have you got Jesus in your heart?"

"Nope, but I've had Jesus in my loins."

I would totally answer him with one of your awesome responses. XD

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Yeah but I don't want to offend him. Being offended personally and being offended because someone mocks your religion are two different things, and being on the recieving end of having someone mock my beliefs, I don't really want to do that to anyone else.

Yeah, me and my morals! :-P

[bewarethespork.livejournal.com]

You are a far better person than I am, that's all I can say. :P

[shantari.livejournal.com]

I would have been trying to think out what the follow up line would be, had I gotten this aimed at me. It just doesn't sound the least bit serious. Like maybe:

"Have you got Jesus in your heart?"
"Yes."
"Any room for me?"

alt.

"Have you got Jesus in your heart?"
"No."
"Then maybe there's room for me?"

Hey Babe: have u got Septum in your heart?

[flyingreptile.livejournal.com]

As I am almost a doctor* now, I'll just point out that having Jesus in your heart can cause an exceedingly high Blood Alcohol Content, and (in women) a monthly discharge of wine. The BAC can cause loss of judgment, reasoning, heart failure and ultimately death. The death generally lasts for a period of three days. This is a serious condition and needs to be checked out immediately.

*of philosophy