Adventures in the Public Health System.

[logansrogue]

So, I was taken to the emergency department by Dad in the car, Mum was with me.  First some triage nurse tells me that it wasn't a good time to come in, and in my head I'm like, "Yeah, cunt, cause I just decided to fill my empty schedule with three hours in an uncomfortable cold hospital while I'm having the worst uterine cramps of my FUCKING LIFE."

I was seen rather quickly, had an incredibly fucking painful internal exam with a plastic speculum.

I DECLARE A FUCKIN' JIHAD ON THE PLASTIC SPECULUM.

I felt like I was being ripped in fucking half.  IT REALLY FUCKING HURT. 

They checked me out and all was well, apparently.  And despite the fact that I'm doing labour breathing and pelvic rocking to deal with the pain of the cramps, I shouldn't have the fucking Mirena taken out yet.  IT MIGHT STILL IMPROVE!

... Right.  Sure.  Whatever.

If I'm not improved in a week, this motherfucking piece of shit plastic is coming OUT.

Comments

[triestine.livejournal.com]

So with you on the speculum. :(

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Seriously. Metal ones are just SO MUCH NICER.

[helen-jess.livejournal.com]

I don't get it. Why do you have to be in pain? Surely there is a better way. *hugs* for the painful exam. Emergency is hell too. You really feel like cattle when you're in there. Although, saying that, thank god for modern medicine and all the times it's made me better.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was King Edward Memorial Hospital so it was kind of quiet and not so bad. I felt like I was wasting everyone's time though cause there were sick pregnant women that kept coming in, and there I am, decidedly unpregnant with what amounted to hideous period cramps.

Rogue missed me so much. I called her and she goes "Prrrrrmeah-mrow!" Like she said her version of 'ma-ma'! It was the closest to Ma-ma that she can manage to get with her little kitty mouth. It was so cute. Then she reached out for me with her paw and I gave her a cuddle. She missed me. *lol*

[leviathan0999.livejournal.com]

I hate the amount of pain you're in -- hate it like fire. It's not a smutty joke -- well, okay, it's not just a smutty joke -- to say I wish I could kiss it better for you.

[marie-j-granger.livejournal.com]

*hugs you gently*

[demosthenes91.livejournal.com]

Fuckin' hell... plastic is NOT your friend!

Did Australia suddenly become the third world or something? Who the hell uses plastic speculums?! You just need that and a red & white checked roll of paper to lie on and you have an exam picnic!

*facepalms*

[simons-flower.livejournal.com]

I've been following your adventures with the Mirena and can utterly sympathize. I had an IUD put in in October 2006 that was supposed to be a 5-year insertion. I had to have it removed in February 2007 because the cramping was unbearable. If I could have taken fistfuls of Darvocet it still wouldn't have taken care of the pain. Curling around the sun for a heating pad wouldn't have taken care of the pain.

I had mine put in for contraception, not for regulation like you, but I hate to see you in such misery no matter what you do.

[lauredhel.livejournal.com]

There are several designs of plastic speculum, one of which is dreadful, and one of which is fabulous (far better than standard metal speculums with their giant flared spoon-like ends).

Adequately-lubed (a step some douchebags skip), correctly-sized (another step some douchebags skip), and wielded gently and correctly (yet another step some douchebags also skip, and sometimes the same douchebags, which makes things exponentially worse), an exam with the better kind of plastic speculum can be more comfortable than any metal-spec exam.

I've been there done that, multiple times, on both sides of the speculum, gathered lots and lots of feedback, and have concluded to my satisfaction that it's not the plastic, it's the douchebag.

[demosthenes91.livejournal.com]

This makes me more and more grateful every day that I go to a woman-run, woman-owned clinic. My PA is no nonsense, but she uses warm lube and she's in and out of there before you can say 'Bwah!'

"Alright, you can sit up now."

"What? You're all done?!"

"Yup," snaps gloves and tosses them, "all done!"

[asweetdownfall.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. :(

[jakie-em.livejournal.com]

the first time I ever had a pap test, the (male) doctor used a cold metal speculum.

if anything deserves a Jihad, that does

[sugaryfun.livejournal.com]

Ow. You poor thing. :(

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Next time I'll be like, "Do you have a metal speculum? I would prefer a metal one, thank you." Cause plastic ones REALLY FUCKING HURT. Like, the seam cuts into you or something, IT'S SHIT.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Well, the good news is that this morning, I'm in a world less pain. This anti-inflammatory they gave me might be doing me some good. Either that or my body is exhausted with the cramping game, who knows. I'm hoping the damned pills help me out at least. I'm skeptical though. Pills always go wrong.

[purrdence.livejournal.com]

You know, I have not heard one good thing about Mirena...

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Well, the best pelvic exam I had was by an old dude called Professor Moorehead. No, I'm not lying. That's really his name. He was AMAZING. It didn't hurt, it was gentle and careful and I barely felt a thing.

Maybe it's the endo, but the plastic exams I've had lately are just AGONY. No lube. Maybe that was the problem.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

It's okay, I'm a lot better this morning.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Well, my doctor had the good grace to warm the speculum first, and he was incredibly gentle. Not a problem at all. :( I guess it's how they use the speculum, rather than the speculum itself.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I have, I know a couple of people where's it's been OMG AMAZING. You don't tend to hear from those people on the internet, because they're satisfied customers. *shrugs*

[amichandrn.livejournal.com]

http://iheartguts.com/recall/index.htm

Why can't this be for the real deal too??

[robin99.livejournal.com]

O_o

DOWN WITH PLASTIC SPECULUMS!! >:O

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Man, I'd love to exchange my faulty uterus for a working model!!!

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Word up, yo.

[mawaridi.livejournal.com]

You're not wasting people's time at all. When you're in that much pain it is bad for your body to just leave it. Sitting through excruciating pain is not strong or tough or anything like that, it's just foolish if there is an alternative you can take. Did they give you any painkillers at least?

I think it's fair to say you have given Mirena enough of a chance. That thing needs to come out, and if your doctor won't do it, you need to find someone who will. Forcing you to stick through this torture when you've asked repeatedly to have the thing removed is not right.

[mawaridi.livejournal.com]

Funny. It seemed like, a while ago, everyone was telling me to get a Mirena when I was looking around for suggestions on ways to deal with my endo. It was getting rave reviews on endometriosis for a while. Haven't heard much about it in recent months, though, except logansrogue's own horror story :(

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

My doctor *will* do it, and the lady at KEMH said that if it really isn't working for me, I can get it taken out if I want, they just prefer I don't. I wouldn't mind so much but I hate the thought of having this thing in me until March. :(

[http://users.livejournal.com/lemmings_/]

That sucks balls.

[lauredhel.livejournal.com]

No lube is so TOTALLY a problem. WTF?

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

No, I'm wrong, Mum reckons she used lube. IT STILL HURT.