It's like those horrible dreams...

[logansrogue]

You know those dreams? Where you need to run away from some foe but it's like you're stuck in a heavy gravity environment or something, it takes ALL your energy just to lift your leg and you run and you run but you don't get anywhere.

With the minimal energy I've had lataely, that's what doing every day things feels like. I woke at about six am. I've made myself two pancakes, walked around outside and watered a few plants, played a bit of Nintendo DS and rendered half of a panel of a comic.

And I feel FUCKED. Just absolutely tired and worn out. And the pain from my Mirena cramps is fucking horrible. I'm going to the doctor tonight to see what I have to do to get this little fucking piece of shit taken out of me.

Not even a milo works to give me more energy. :( And I tell you, it's fucking BORING being this sick. I like getting things done, you know? And half the time I just feel like lying there. Cause if I don't move too much, it doesn't hurt too bad. :(

Gah, fuck you, Mirena, and fuck you too, uterus. :(

Oh, and a note of how much of a geek I am? I had a dream that I was on the bus to the train station, and the train would take me to the airport. My brother, sister and I, in this dream, were going to America for some reason. So I check my bag and I realise that I can't find my Nintendo DS, except that the Nintendo DS is built like one of those old liquid crystal display games that had something like frogger or pong on them in the 80s. Remember those? All boxy and shithouse. Anyway, I realise that I've lost it and I'm sitting in the car with my parents and sibs afterwards, bawling my eyes out about how I've lost it and it's two hundred dollars and I'll never be able to afford a new one. Mum said, "Well, you just have to be careful." And I realised there was NO way to get it back if I had lost it. I actually woke up sobbing. Isn't that crazy? Crying in my sleep over a Nintendo? Hahahaha!!

Comments

[helen-jess.livejournal.com]

I want to ask you about Mirena. My doctor has suggested it to me as a form of contraception and a way to reduce the duration and severity of my periods. Why did your doctor put you on it? Was it for PCOS? How long have you had cramps? Why didn't you take it out asap? I was told that you can get it removed very easily if it's not working for you.

I'd love to know how you've found it, because I'm seriously considering using it.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Some people have had a lot of success with it. There's a big chance of success, most women are fine. I don't know if it's wise to get it if you haven't had kids yet. I'm taking it to control my endometriosis. It's just making things worse. My gynaecologists wanted me to let the IUD settle and get to work. But it's not getting any better, so I'm going to see what I have to do to get it out of me.

How have you responded to birth control hormones in the past? I've responded very badly, and I tend to get very uncomfortable if I have a tampon in too, so it's no wonder that this hurt me so much. Just know that there is a chance that if you do this, it might go wrong, and if it does, it's very, very painful. BUT, it's not that hard to get it removed. You'd be having it in for different reasons than me so you wouldn't have to put up with any silly business.

Seriously man - feel free to talk to me about this all you want. Any time, any place, you can text me if you want on my phone, email me, whatever. It's always good to make sure you know all you can before deciding on something like this. I'd definitely do some web searches on it.

I have to say, not having my period was kinda cool. I'll miss that, not having to worry about the cramps. But now it's like, ninja periods. I don't know when they're coming or where they'll hit, and when they do, BAM. I am fucking knackered and there's blood everywhere. LOL.

[helen-jess.livejournal.com]

Thanks for all that. I'm looking into a few different things. I do not want any worse cramps and I really would like to not have periods any more. I will probably ask you more questions when i find out more about it.

Thanks! I hope that they can sort you out sometime soon. I know how cramp it's been for you with the endo.

Please don't

[snyde-remark.livejournal.com]

You guys talk like this thing is a pill to be taken. Yeah I just did a google search of Mirena cramps cause I had no idea what she was on about and I didn't like the look of the stuff that came up.

I wouldn't go inserting something in me (can't anyway) that rips and tears at my insides and that is what it is designed to do!!! From what I know of IUD's (admitedly not much) they are bad news but hey if it works for some people then good on em.

About the dreams thing

When I was a kid I dreamt that my dad was stomping on little frogs (he would never do this RL) and I woke up screaming and crying for them. Sucks! Takes it out of you, you know. BTW those boxy shithouse game consoles weren't that bad mine still work and still rock. :P

Feel better both of you.

Re: Please don't

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Well, not everyone gets a perforated uterus when they use this thing. And it's a big decision for any woman, so the fact that miss_kittylix is reading up on it and trying to find out all she can shows how seriously she takes this decision. But if you knew what it was like to have debilitating periods, you might understand why women would take the chance. Sometimes, you'd risk the pain just for the chance of being free of a horrible natural phenomena in your body that makes life so hard and unbearable at times.

Heh, I generally like dreams. I thought it was hilarious once I properly woke up, that I was so upset over a nintendo ds! I love those boxy shithouse games, I wish I still had mine! I had a little game when I was a kid, it was wicked fun.

Thank you!

[dark-joxer.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna throw a little psycho analysis your way now. I don't think your sadness over the DS was anything to do with the DS. The DS was a physical dream-manifestation of something else you feel you have lost - probably something relating back to the assault, or your inability to function lately due to the cramping and the endo....

So, there you go. That's my 0.00002 cents worth.

As to those little games thingies - yeah, they were awesome. I still have a few, but not got batteries in them.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Actually... that makes a lot of sense. *nods* Nice analysis! :D