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logansrogueI used to be able to have a say in how my life went. I'd sleep when I needed to sleep, work when I needed to work, do what I needed to when I needed to do it.
Not anymore. I sleep when my body cannot take another moment of being awake. When my exhaustion overtakes the pain.
It's beautiful outside and I want to go for walks and have coffee in Perth and watch the world go by, wear lovely clothes and sexy shoes and meet people. Instead I'm waking up at 12 o'clock, staying in my jim-jams for longer than is necessary, counting my days by the TV shows I catch and what other people in the house are doing. I read my friends list religiously because it's my only link to a social circle anymore.
I feel isolated, alone, worthless, guilty, and a plethora of other self-debasing emotions that really aren't all that good for my mental health. I wonder if it's because it's a week before my period happens again. I kinda look forward to that, because after the first three days, I have the best days of the month. Maybe then I can go for a walk and enjoy the sunshine.
I'm going to go to an endometriosis specialist. I can't go on like this without trying to do something for myself.
Not anymore. I sleep when my body cannot take another moment of being awake. When my exhaustion overtakes the pain.
It's beautiful outside and I want to go for walks and have coffee in Perth and watch the world go by, wear lovely clothes and sexy shoes and meet people. Instead I'm waking up at 12 o'clock, staying in my jim-jams for longer than is necessary, counting my days by the TV shows I catch and what other people in the house are doing. I read my friends list religiously because it's my only link to a social circle anymore.
I feel isolated, alone, worthless, guilty, and a plethora of other self-debasing emotions that really aren't all that good for my mental health. I wonder if it's because it's a week before my period happens again. I kinda look forward to that, because after the first three days, I have the best days of the month. Maybe then I can go for a walk and enjoy the sunshine.
I'm going to go to an endometriosis specialist. I can't go on like this without trying to do something for myself.
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Date: 2007-09-03 05:52 am (UTC)