Things that immediately annoy me in a fic.

[logansrogue]

I love fic. I love pairing up characters in fic. It's a joy for me to put two characters together and see them bounce off each other. There's traps, however, that people fall into whenever they try to pair characters in fandom. Here are a few of them!

- One Twu Wuv: If the lead character has had many past loves, the newest one is the only one they've ever truly loved, or is the best sex they've ever had. Just because you have a new love doesn't mean that the old ones aren't important or fade in comparison. If writing down the previous relationships is the only way you can make the current pairing look good, then you need to really think about the characters and build some actual interactions and development.

- Rough Angsty Sex: Very few pairings can get away with this. Please use with discretion.

- Building up a StrawMan Rival Love Interest: You make this character for the explicit purpose of making one of the pairing jealous and the other think that they know what they want only to realise they want what they had all along. SRLI usually ends up evil/shallow/psycho. Here's a tip - real love doesn't work that way. Everyone, even bad people, have complex, interesting characters. There's nothing wrong with making a character in a pairing distracted with a new love interest if you're plotting for that character to end up with the lead or whatever. But if you have your ingénue or whatever fall head over heels for one character, then flip back to the other, her love wont seem genuine or lasting. It'll undermine the ENTIRE fic.

- Sudden Sex Without Motive: People don't do anything without a reason, including sex. Character A is not going to up and shag Character B if they've not shown the slightest bit of interest in doing that, ever. It's just not believable.

- Fixing Up the Flaws: Fixing the flaws of a character in a monologue. This is a huge one for me, I fucking HATE it. Look, characters are flawed. Wolverine is a gruff bastard, the Doctor is rude and not ginger, Spike is a jerk, Draco Malfoy hates Harry Potter, House is a sarcastic prick, Joxer is a terrible dork... there are certain characters that have a very distinct set of shortcomings that make them who they are! A sudden case of the CuntStruck/Cockstruck is not going to make them magically lose these flaws that might annoy you or make it difficult to pair two characters together. The pairing should work *with* those flaws. If you can't write them with the flaws intact, then you may as well forget about it. Love will NOT make it all okay. When the character falls in love, they will not suddenly confess to the other character of interest why they have been behaving a certain way and how oh my GOD their love has FREED them! Like I said before - it doesn't work that way!

- The Cinderella Cliche. God, I am SO SICK of this one. You know what I'm talking about. The character wears something different, looks fabulous and suddenly the other character in the pairing realises how utterly beautiful they are. No. Just no. If I have to tell you why this is wrong, there's no hope for you.

- Post-Coital Personality Transplant: This is related to the "Fixing Up the Flaws". After the sex, the relationship of the pairing suddenly changes. Sex does not fix or change the way people relate to each other. Not in a huge way, at any rate. I love a bit of fluff like anyone but for Gawd's sakes, don't make a character suddenly happy to talk about their feelings if they've never done that before, or suddenly awesome and heroic when they've always been a bit of a klutz... you get the picture.

These cliches are like Lego pieces. They can combine together quite easily and they build upon each other.

So - are there any that bother you? Lemme know, we can discuss!

Comments

[pixienymph.livejournal.com]

Cinderella and Strawman are two of my pet peeves.

OMG! Cinderella/Strawman OTP! LULz!

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Dude, Cinderella/Strawman are seen together REGULARLY! They fuck like bunnies.

[originalnilson.livejournal.com]

Oh oh oh! EXAMPLE! Hermoine all dressed up and going to the Ball with... that... guy. I forgotten his name. Meat head man.

[originalnilson.livejournal.com]

Oh I just scrolled down and saw that someone else mentioned it.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Viktor Krum.

[mawaridi.livejournal.com]

Uuurgh. I hate the Cinderella Cliche too. It's just so shallow and frustrating (especially because it always seems to be female characters who get prettied up and suddenly reveal how awesome and loveable they are because they've got a new dress or have taken time to bother with their hair etc.). That one tends to be hugely prevalent even outside fanfic, too. See Hermione at the Yule Ball, movies like She's All That, etc.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

What amuses me about Hermione at the Yule Ball is that it wasn't her eventual love interest that noticed how hot she was, it was Harry! I see that as JKR shooting herself in the foot with the POV she picked for the novel. *sigh*

I bought into that bullshit in a big way in high school and it pisses me off. I always tell my nieces, "You're beautiful with or without make-up. I think you're so gorgeous you don't really need it." I try to lead by example and don't gussy myself up unless it's a party. Cause really - make-up makes me ill. I don't wear it unless I have to.

[annearchy.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess Harry's jaw dropping at the Yule Ball was another red herring. Pfft.

[xedra.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with you here! I also tell my nieces they don't need makeup to be pretty cuz they are lovely just as they are. And I never wear makeup unless absolutely necessary... and the very minimal at that. UGH, I hate it! I am SO ungirly.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I'm TOTALLY girly, I just don't think my body likes make-up very much.

[strangedave.livejournal.com]

Actually, some of these things do happen in real life. I'm sure I've had Sudden Sex Without Motive, and some people certainly change a lot in a new relationship.

But the rules of fic are different to the rules of real life - fiction has to make sense, real life doesn't!

[angriest.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I've had Sudden Sex Without Motive

(Grant will now anticipate every Monday night D&D session in a state of abject terror...)

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Watch out Grant - he comes from behind.

[angriest.livejournal.com]

http://www.pennyarcademerch.com/pah070041.html

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

HAH! Awesome!!

[strangedave.livejournal.com]

Oh come on, you are saying after all these years it would be unexpected? Don't tell me you haven't felt it too!

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

*sits down, gets popcorn, hopes for the best*

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

That argument might need some context on my part. I think you're predisposed, as a person, to be open to sex at a moment's notice. Someone else might not be like that.

Say, The Doctor, however, who might have spent an entire season ignoring Martha, wouldn't just up and decide to fuck her. Not without good reason. And he wouldn't blurt out mid-sex, "You know, I've always really liked you, bla bla bla".

[angriest.livejournal.com]

"But he was thinking of Rose the whole time..."

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Of course he was. He's an alien slut-boi tease!

[angriest.livejournal.com]

Actually, I was kidding. He was really thinking of Romana. His poor broken-hearts, one for each incarnation of her he knew.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Dude, when I have sex, I'M actually thinking of Romana! Who isn't? Rowr!

[strangedave.livejournal.com]

Well, I was just saying that I recall sexual encounters with people with whom there was no particular sexual attraction before, and no repeat or sexual tension since.

But my real point was that in real life, people sometimes do things that are out of character, sometimes deliberately. Fictional characters sometimes require more consistency that real life people. Would the character just randomly make that decision? No. But in real life it can just be being caught in the right mood having had a few drinks, or being affected by some movie or personal experience that has made you question your normal motives, etc. And, of course, many people present a false view of themselves to the world that is so strong that everyone, including themselves, gets surprised when it slips.

I'm not saying that writing that has characters do things that are out of character without explanation isn't bad. Just because its possible doesn't mean it isn't bad or lazy writing! Just that sometimes, things happen in real life that would be hard to get away with in fiction. Its very similar to the way that a plot that relies on an improbable coincidence is usually poor, lazy writing - but in real life improbable coincidences do happen occasionally!

[aeditimi.livejournal.com]

Navel gazing: a character who has shown no particular interest in introspection before suddenly develops a passion for Cartesian philosophy, and spends whole chapters doing nothing but wallowing in existential angst because their eyes have suddenly been opened to the wonders of the world by their great love for another character or by the (albeit life-changing) experience of having a great orgasm. I suppose this is a stepchild of the fixing of the flaws you mention, but I find it particularly annoying when, say, Draco, has a sudden bout of concern for others and the fate of the world simply because he got into Ginny's knickers.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Hmm... It might go well after Fixing Up the Flaws, or as a subset of Fixing Up the Flaws... I'm going to have to collate all these excellent suggestions into a single piece. Without the ranting.

[muddgutts.livejournal.com]

outstanding post! I hope it helps some people write better fan-fics. I've started reading them again and suddenly remember all the things I hate about fan fics. Many you have just mentions. I should list a few more, but I have much work today. I'll check back later on this thread.

good post.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

S'all good, buddy! And OMG! YOUR ICON IS AWESOME!

[muddgutts.livejournal.com]

you like the Adam yes? Great singer love him style too. I so wanted to be him as a kid.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I fucking adore Adam Ant. His style, his music. Just - brilliant. Crazy, amazing bastard.

[originalnilson.livejournal.com]

Crazy is the word for it.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

That icon of you is stunning.

[originalnilson.livejournal.com]

Lol, I'll take that compliment even though your high on happy pills.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I've always thought that, I just never said anything cause I thought it was blatantly clear how gorgeous you are in it.

Yes, I'm high on happy pills. WHEE!

[groovekittie.livejournal.com]

The best is when it happens in canon!

i.e. Starbuck/Apollo on BSG when she wears a pretty dress at a dance/ball and Apollo goes all gaga. Oo! And in season 1 of SG-1 when Daniel and Jack and Teal'c see Sam in a pretty blue dress in the Shavadai episode and go all gaga.

I don't know how many damned fics I've read with those pairings that all stem from those episodes mentioned above. *sigh*

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I want to slap authors when they put it in canon!

I loved the comedy series Spaced. They had the main female character walk in all pretty for her birthday, and then the main male character looks all starry eyed, and she gets all happy about it, and then the camera angle changes and it's made apparent that he's actually excited about the huge birthday cake that's being trotted into the room by the waiter. LOL!

[brentdax.livejournal.com]

I actually did an anti-Cinderella challenge once. It was H/Hr—Hermione tries to grab Harry's attention by being more girly/sexy, but it just puts him off because he liked her the way she was. Someone picked it up and did a fairly good job with it. It's probably about a year back in the Portkey challenge forum, if you're interested.

My least-favorite cliche is the "Oops, we're pregnant!" with a character who's fundamentally way too responsible not to use birth control/do something less risky/at least wait till she's not near the peak of her cycle (Hermione, Scully, most Star Trek females...).

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

... Why would ANYONE write that with THOSE characters?! And HOW, in WHAT UNIVERSE, is getting pregnant a ROMANTIC thing? Even me, at 17, when I was at the peak of my writing shitness, knew that when I wrote my early-twenties character accidentally getting pregnant, that she was scared about it and freaked out and it was a disaster to her career and everything! YEESH!

[brentdax.livejournal.com]

Well, they tend to use it to inject some angst into an otherwise stupidly fluffy story.

(Personally, I'm convinced there's a charm on Hogwarts that prevents conception on the grounds. I know that's about the first thing I'd cast if I were setting up a co-ed magical school for teenagers.)

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I guess so.

That... that's a brilliant idea, actually.

[brentdax.livejournal.com]

Actually, there's another thing I hate about some fanfic—the Botched Transplant:

1. The author writes a different genre than the source work. (Fluffy Potter romance, Star Trek comedy, etc.)
2. The author sucks, so the new genre falls flat.
3. Instead of bringing in elements from the source genre, which at least is known to work for that world, the author introduces stupid plot developments.

The Surprise Spawn is really a special case of this pattern.

[goldy-dollar.livejournal.com]

I think I'll just jump up and down and agree with ALL Of these.

Also, I have to add 99.9 percent of baby!fic to the list, as most of the time a baby is used as a magical way to bring True Love Back Together, so it can live magically happily ever after in domestic bliss. Christ.

And... I find that simply using a beta reader would help a LOT of folk who clearly don't have much grasp of character voices and/or spelling and grammar. But this is a different nitpick.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I swear by beta readers. Beta readers are GOLD. Half of JKRs problems in her books could have been solved by a DECENT EDITOR.

[zebeckras.livejournal.com]

Yes yes yes and yes! (and also, yes.) And I've written at least two of these, but hey, I was young at the time and didn't know they were such cliches when I did 'em. And well, in my defense, they weren't QUITE as overly done as some of them are.

Most of the time when I used them (esp. the One Twu Wuv one) they were in Gab/Joxer fics... And I do see all of these in XWP fanfics, especially GJR ones, all the time and it kills me dead but I think they show up so often because they're a good way to just quickly eliminate most of the troubling character issues that stand between our Most Beloved Couple... or so the authors think, anyway. As you said, in most of these cases, if they can't get the characters together without resorting to these cliches, then the answer is: you can't get these characters together. Period.

(Am pleased that I've managed to write a few decent GJR fics without using any of these; it makes me feel better about the 'ship. *G*)

I've also had my evil moments when I've wanted to build an entire parody fanfic comprised excusively of cliches like these... but hten I thought "what's the point of writing something that, even as a humour piece, is so unreadable?" So there goes that idea. ;D

[withherhands]

BIG FUCKING WORD. It's sad that I can name examples in 24 fanfic for all of these cliches. And also name all the times I'd love to *strangle* someone for using one of these and using it badly.

The only one I'd add, as it seems to be epidemic in 24 fanfic? The Character Transplant addendum to the Straw Man cliche. Namely where whatever canon love interest one of the characters has is transformed into a two-dimensional, utterly repulsive character just so the other person has an excuse to go bonk the character the author wants them to. For the female in the chosen pairing, any male canon partner of hers will turn into a controlling, abusive psychopath. For the male in the chosen pairing, the unwanted female partner will be turned into a needy, whiny simpleton, or more commonly, an evil, bitchy shrew.

Things like this have made me have an unspeakable loathing for certain pairings which, while canonically unlikely in my opinion, would at least be fun to read and possibly rather cracky, if said character abuse and other crimes against fiction hadn't completely turned my stomach on the pairing.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Oh Oh OH! The FEMMEBOT REPLACEMENT! Yes, yes yes, that's everywhere, not just 24! Thank you, I'll have to add that in with a thanks to you. The Character Transplant is a big one!

Yes, I know, I know. I think all subsets of fandom have suffered this. Only education and a good stiff beta-ing will fix it, I think.

[tangofiction.livejournal.com]

Great post! I totally agree with you on all counts. Also, while it's true that sometimes things seem arbitrary in RL (stranger than fiction, etc), they are not truly without motive -- even "I feel like random sex tonight" is a motive, and should be written that way. If it's truly incomprehensible why character A suddenly decides to go at character B, it better be intentional on the writer's part (and should make sense later, prefereably not as "and then she woke up").

Also in fiction, it's not enough to have a motive for a character's actions, they should also propel the plot. Even sex. Especially sex.

To add to the list -- the Marionette Syndrome. This is a generalised form of the malady kcountess described above as character transplant -- basically, any deliberate action on the writer's part to change or 'fix' canon characters (often manifested as the dreaded Revenge Fic). You can always recognise the Marionette Syndrome -- all of a sudden, the character starts sounding like the author, and/or the other characters say things that are totally OOC just because the author wants to get them out of his/her system. Sometimes, amusingly, a character might deliver a long speech on some subject close to the author's heart (like an impromptu lecture on ancient pottery or women's rights, out of the blue).

[azinazelle.livejournal.com]

Read my fanfic! I'm not guilty of any of these ... at least not that I'm aware of.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Cool!