Inexplicable sadness.

[logansrogue]

One of those chronic illnesses I forgot to mention in that earlier health-bitching post was depression, which I'm pretty sure is clinical. For example, I've been waking up this week, inexplicably depressed. I can't really think of a reason for it. Sure, there are factors of my life that I'm less than happy with, but nothing that would make me feel so black. I'm hoping it's been PMS related, because I don't really need a depressive episode right now. I want to be happy - I *like* being happy. I've got a lot to be happy about. My body chemicals just don't seem to be on the same page as me.

So, I don't really know what to do. I could seek counselling, and I'm sure it'd be reassuring, but it would be weird cause I'd be sitting there going, "Uhm, well, I'm unemployed, but that's cause of the health problems. I keep myself busy, so that's okay. I have a lot of projects on my plate right now - that's really exciting. I'm going to a big sci-fi con at easter time, so that's super exciting. Ted Raimi friended me on MySpace and said he liked my music! That was a nice little cheer-up! I get sad that I don't have a boyfriend, but there's no use moping about that. I miss being as fit as I used to be, but I'm working on fixing that by altering my diet and trying to sort out this migraine problem. The most depressing thing for me right now is my teeth. I need to get my teeth fixed."

"...Teeth?"

"Yeah."

But teeth don't make you feel suicidal, do they? I hope it's the hormones, I really fucking do. :( Cause ugh - I don't need pointless reasonless bottomless depression right now.

Comments

[greenforest-elf.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

You should try and go see my doc, even if its just one visit (book a long appointment).... she is a star.... am happy to drive you if you like.... she has helped me with alot of issues (health and dep)...

Oh tell me bout teeth, Im so glad my wisdoms are gone gone gone

*more hugs*

[asweetdownfall.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[amichandrn.livejournal.com]

I'm going to give this advice, simply because It's highly likely that I have this, as well.

Have you ever considered that as opposed to depression, you may have PMDD? It's like an insanely severe form of PMS, with symptoms that may include, but aren't limited to:
*Persistent sadness or depression
*Marked anxiety, feelings of being "keyed up" or "on edge"
*Mood swings often marked by periods of teariness
*Persistent or marked anger or irritability
*Decreased interest in usual activities
*Fatigue or lethargy
*A feeling of being overwhelmed or out of control
*Flu-like symptoms, including muscle aches, headaches and joint pain
*Changes in sleep patterns — problems falling and staying asleep or sleeping too much
*Changes in appetite — overeating, lack of appetite or specific food cravings

Here is a more comprehensive list of possible symptoms: http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/uvahealth/adult_women/pmdd.cfm

It's often treated with medications or hormone therapy. I suffered for years and didn't realize that this could be what was really wrong with me until I was in college.

If you think this may be a possibility, I'd recommend that you keep a little log, see if these start to spring up close to your period. It was really helpful when I went down the list with my gyno and explained how many people noticed my mood swings, irritability and depression.

If I'm wrong, forget I spoke...well, typed.

♥

[berenicepotter.livejournal.com]

*hugs of love*

[annearchy.livejournal.com]

*massive hugs*

[girlguitarist.livejournal.com]

Just throwing something out there from my own experience: When I have health issues, my depression overwhelms me. I've had a few doctors who, when I became really depressed, suggested we work on my physical health first. It seems to be some combination of the body not working right in general due to your other ailments, and of course being chronically ill is a valid reason to be depressed! I tried counselling before, which did nothing... but when my health picked up, the depression was magically better. But oh babe, I wish there was some way to get rid of your illnesses or at least keep that in check so it were possible :(