My Uterus Hates Me: Part 328423934293423742...

Apparently, being very upset or in distress can make your period come on early.

I just got mine FOUR DAYS EARLY.

Yeah, I'm very bummed about Melma (Though I've been slowly getting better, especially since she visited me in the Astral last night for AGES and repeatedly - she just didn't leave until I was smiling again, that's so like her!).

My uterus hates me part more...

Okay, so, I started my period basically in the middle of the night. Somewhere between 12 to 1am. Now, I'm pretty sure it was when Mum went to bed.

I finished the Dolased before I went to bed at nine. It is now 4am. You know why I'm awake? Cause I CANNOT SLEEP WITH THE CRAMPS. And I have NO CODIENE TO DEAL WITH IT.

I am VERY ANNOYED AND TIRED.

Uuuuughhhhh!

Anti-Cramp Hot Toddy

I have discovered that a really good aid in battling cramps is this hot toddy.

Boil up some water and use a chamomile teabag. Combination chamomile teas with other calming herbs are also really good for this sort of thing. I used Lipton's Quietly Chamomile, that has some other flavourings thrown in.

A squirt of lemon, a dollop of honey and a dash of brandy. Mix it together, let it sit for a few minutes.

The Universe is singing to us.

Check this awesome out.

At that link: A dude named Professor Robertus von Fáy-Siebenbürgen (Which may be one of the coolest names ever) created software that converts the magnetic vibrations of solar flares into sound. My Mum delightedly played this for me this morning, going "Ooommmmm!" over and over again. She's right. It sounds TOTALLY like "Om"!

The thing that really blows my mind is that there are multiple solar flares going off at the same time on the sun. And on other suns. The whole universe is filled with these vibrations and they sound FUCKING HARDCORE. It's one, big, roaring, Omming, rocking universe. Sagan would have needed new trousers if he'd heard this.

On a purely spiritual level this also rocks my socks off. Coincidences and patterns make me feel, well, comfortable in the cosmos. The known Universe apparently grew like neurons or a great giant, branching tree. The rhythm and flow of the universe is not unlike a great ocean, and indeed Carl Sagan described it as a Cosmic Ocean in his awesome series, "Cosmos". It's wonderful to contemplate that, and when I do, I feel closer to the energy that created it all. The great, white, Ineffable.

I don't need commandments, dour pronouncement or restrictive, arbitrary behaviour codes. I believe in a natural energy Spirit that strums mighty tunes through burning stars and cradles the random creations of these cosmic oases on face-meltingly beautiful planets which hurl themselves around these suns in their own unique rhythms. I love being reminded how terrible, wonderful and literally awesome this universe is.

With cats, life is never dull.

The rhythm of life rolls on and things are as they were. Rogue reminded me of the youthful vigour of cats yesterday, when she jumped onto the table while I was aging my Leela costume with some acrylic paint.

Her paw went into the crimson daub, and then she proceeded to track it across the kitchen, on the lino and on the eating surfaces. I had to then chase the little shit down, hold onto her and wash her foot so that she didn't lick up the paint. Rogue doesn't like getting wet. The last time I wet a cat, it was Melma having a butt-bath. She was reasonably calm and other than purring, just sort of put up with it.

Rogue? Well... I have five interesting deep gashes in my shoulder in the configuration of a cat's paw, and a lot of scratches on my arms to be going on with. It took THREE PEOPLE just to hold her to rinse her tail (where some soap had collected and not been rinsed off). She was really fucking pissed off.

Remind me to clip that little shit's claws today.

Open Letters

Dear Uterus,

Please. Please for the love of all that is holy. Cease in beating me against the rocks of life's riverbanks with your angry tide. I haven't had any proper sleep since you started the period. Like, 2am, man. This is so heinously uncool. Sure, I ran out of pain relief, and didn't get it when I should have, but how was I to know that you'd start your deal four days early? I never start four days early. EVER.

I'm so tired. And I'm pretty sure I'm coasting on endorphins. I feel like Blanche Devereaux in that episode where she goes on the 72 hour writing stint.

Just - please, Uterus. Let. Me. Sleep.

--N

Drugs are good, Mmmkaaay?

Next time some hand-wringer says to me that people are taking too many painkillers and are drug addicts and shit, I invite them to feel the pain I felt this morning, and then feel how I feel right now, dosed up on NSAIDs and opiates.

Oh GOD IT'S SUCH A FUCKING RELIEF!!!

Open Letters

Dear Labor:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

<3,
--N.