Feb. 18th, 2007
Can't draw. Want to draw. NEED to draw. Have MUCH to draw before Swancon. But I just. Can't. DRAW. I look at what I'm supposed to be doing and I feel a great wave of loathing. Like, "UGH. Not NOW. I CAN'T!"
And it's the same with the writing. I wish I knew why I felt such apathy, cause I really do love drawing and I want to do lots of drawing. I just hate everything I come up with. I hate the way I draw, I hate how everything turns out way less cool than I imagined it. I hate how I have to muddle my way to a good picture, that it just doesn't come easily like it used to. I used to just - GRAB inspiration and shit out art and it looked good. It was overloaded with confidence.
This is what happens when I get utterly frustrated and draw about it:
( It was kinda cathartic, actually... )
Getting a headache. I might go to bed and try to relax. I'm absolutely unsure what to do with myself. I'm certain the government will bustle in soon and find me something, even though I'm sick all the time. Blah.
And it's the same with the writing. I wish I knew why I felt such apathy, cause I really do love drawing and I want to do lots of drawing. I just hate everything I come up with. I hate the way I draw, I hate how everything turns out way less cool than I imagined it. I hate how I have to muddle my way to a good picture, that it just doesn't come easily like it used to. I used to just - GRAB inspiration and shit out art and it looked good. It was overloaded with confidence.
This is what happens when I get utterly frustrated and draw about it:
Getting a headache. I might go to bed and try to relax. I'm absolutely unsure what to do with myself. I'm certain the government will bustle in soon and find me something, even though I'm sick all the time. Blah.