I have not been able to sleep lately. That is such a tiny sentence, rather innocuous, and it doesn't even BEGIN to encapsulate the disruption and all-out unhappiness this is beginning to give me. I've been through worse, but I tell you, I'm starting to get really pissed off.
I'm so tired right now, my right leg is in pain. Like, my fucking *bones* are hurting. That's when I know I should have been in bed four hours ago. And you know what? I was!
But my mother was watching a fucking movie on her laptop at one in the morning almost, with the speakers plug in, and the speakers are on the other side of my wall so I hear EVERY fucking thing.
Or there's my brother playing music at eleven at night.
Or there's my fucking KITTEN bothering me till all hours, jumping all over my back and demanding my undivided attention. If I were one of these people that could sleep on their backs, it wouldn't be a problem. She'd curl up on my chest and we'd be in zzzville together.
But I'm not. I'm strictly a 'go to sleep on my side' girl. I'm also a 'go to sleep without a really sore fucking leg' girl, so I'm shit outta luck.
I'm swearing a lot in this post. That's an indication of how cranky this is making me.
I miss mornings. I *love* mornings! I love the early light, the birds calling to each other, the fresh smell of the air, the stillness of everything. All I have are nights and fading afternoons right now and it's downright *depressing*.
Though, I should say, it is not all bad for me right now. Today is the first time in nearly two months that I've not taken panadol or an anti-inflammatory. I'm not feeling fantastic, but I'm not in desperate pain. I can't sneeze without having a flush of pain in my head, but it goes again. Fucking fucked up circulation. Fuck!