Letters to the World

[logansrogue]

Dear Hair Care Industry,

Cut the bullshit. Please? For my sanity? Here's the deal - I got oily hair. Oily, greasy, slippery, ethnically fantastic hair. My gran was Maltese. I have olive skin and dark brown hair that builds up oils in a day. Oh, my skin is oily too. You know what? I LIKE THAT. I have less eye wrinkles than my younger sister, who took after my Dad (who is German) and is blonde and drier than I am. People mistake me for a 25 year old, and I'm turning 31 this year. I have the shiniest, healthiest God-damned hair after a good wash. I'm proud of my body, I'm proud of my ethnicity (as mixed as it is) and I'm well-aware of the beauty advantages I'm afforded with these over-active oil glands.

But here's the deal - I need special hair care. I need shampoos with a specific pH level and certain ingredients that don't load my hair with minerals, and at the same time cut through the copious amounts of grease my apparently dry scalp exudes every day.

Yet, for some reason unknown to me, despite the fact that BILLIONS of people share the same hair care woes as me as far as oil is concerned, I CANNOT FIND A GOOD SHAMPOO TO SAVE MY LIFE.

You know why? BAD MARKETING.

Cause you fuckers don't SAY that a shampoo is for oily hair anymore. When I was a kid, you did. These days? OH NOES gotta hide yucky things and pander to the market because holy shit, wimmens are stupid and they won't buy a product that accuses them of having OILY hair. Not OILY hair! That shit is way ethnic!

Well thank you, you bastards, for making my life that little bit more difficult. Let's see, there's CLARIFYING shampoos, shampoos for FINE hair, shampoos for VOLUMISING, shampoos for DEEP CLEANSING, shampoos for FORTIFYING and PURIFYING and REGULATING and NORMALISING. CUT THAT SHIT OUT, ALREADY.

I just want a shampoo that'll WASH MY GOD-DAMNED HAIR AND SAYS THAT IT WILL ON THE PACKET. I would be over the moon with a shampoo bottle that didn't try to blow smoke up my ass with beauty bullshit and just said, "Here, you oily beast, this shit will wash the grease away and you won't look like you fell into a bucket of hot chips not twelve hours after your last shower." Or, you know, "For Oily Hair."

For a while I thought it was because I'm in Australia, and in Australia, they don't have shampoo for oily hair because there's so many bloody white people here. I thought that's why I could only find shampoos for dry hair, for coloured hair, deep oil treatments, moisturising infusions, etc etc, whenever I went to the supermarket. No, no this wasn't it after all.

It's something bigger than that, cause when I went to look for stuff on the internets, I couldn't really find any shampoo there either. Maybe my Google-Fu is failing me, I'm not sure.

All I know is have dollars to give to the Hair Care industry and no bastard to recieve it in exchange for goods I can actually use. For now I stick to Sunsilk Long'n'Strong, cause it's the only thing that doesn't make my scalp itch.

Yeah, I said it. Talkin' to you, Pantene, you fuckin' jerks.

No love,
--N
ETA: If I see ONE MORE GOD DAMNED product description that says "Without stripping it of its natural oils" I WILL FUCKING SCREAM. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANT IT TO DO, FUCKER. IT'S WHY I WASH MY GOD DAMNED HAIR EVERY DAY!

Comments

[boomstick.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain! I'm half Greek, quarter Italian and quarter German. My hair is oily but dry on the ends. Fun times!

I use Dove shampoos and conditioners. Any of them work fine for me except for the volumizing ones. For some reason, shampoos and conditioners that are supposed to boost the volume of your hair make mine knotty as shit. I guess my hair is volumey enough!

If any of your pals knows of a better shampoo or conditioner, please to be letting me know. I like to have options and change up my brands :) I went crazy after Pantene changed their formula. Now their stuff makes my hair feel like plastic.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I used to use this Shwarzkopf shampoo as a kid that made my hair SO DREAMY. But I was a kid and didn't have oil problems yet.

I'm currently switching between a super-expensive propylene shampoo and Sunsilk's Long'n'Strong. Neither is rocking my world, but they do better than Pears, El Vive, Pantene, Garnier Fructus and every other damned brand I've tried from the supermarket.

[nephron.livejournal.com]

I don't know what it is about the Dove range- you have a good experience with oily hair, I have really dry curly hair, and I also find their products really good. I think they've done a fabulous job, especially for the fairly moderate price range.

[boomstick.livejournal.com]

Me too. I love everything they put out, especially their body wash. Don't ever change, Dove!

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Oh, we have J&J, it's what Mum used on me as a babby. I remember it not working so well on my hair recently.

[hotclaws.livejournal.com]

Have you tried adding a little lemon juice or vineger to your final rinse water.

[starfyre01.livejournal.com]

Oh, do I hear you on this. I have fine, limp blonde hair, yet I have oily scalp issues, too, just like Dad did. What a nightmare it is to find shampoos that are for my hair type!

Blagh. Kerastase makes a shampoo for oily scalps - but it's super expensive - $45 US. It's ridiculous! Stupid cosmetics companies *grumbles*

[im-an-aaangel.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. I'm still experimenting with different products. Pantene is still my favorite (love Beautiful Lengths) but I always have one problem after another cropping up.

[asweetdownfall.livejournal.com]

Ahaha. OH man. I love this post.

ETA: If I see ONE MORE GOD DAMNED product description that says "Without stripping it of its natural oils" I WILL FUCKING SCREAM. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANT IT TO DO, FUCKER. IT'S WHY I WASH MY GOD DAMNED HAIR EVERY DAY!

That phrase should DIAF, seriously. :|

[3starsinmyeyes.livejournal.com]

Lush.com

I love these guys, they have fantastic products! I have the same grease-ball-head problems. Their shampoos are awesome :) also, their facial stuff is uber awesome for us grease-faces.

[hotclaws.livejournal.com]

Found this after posting here.There's a lot of interesting stuff in the links too.
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/custom-shampoo-hair-type.html

[dromeda.livejournal.com]

It's a little expensive and a little hard to find but L'Occitane Lavender shampoo is lovely. I have scalp psoriasis and alternate between this and a medicated shampoo.

Link to the Australian site:

http://www.loccitane.com.au/hair-care/lavender-claryfing-shampoo-hair-care-l'occitane-en-provence,23,1,1291,23498.htm

[hippiegal22.livejournal.com]

I never undertsood how there's tons of skin care products for 'oily skin but not 'oily hair.' *shrugs*

I found out going online to find homemade recipes for beauty treatments works great. You can make stuff in your kitchen for a fraction of the cost of beauty products that works just as well if not better. :)

[reibot.livejournal.com]

I second the lush products. Also, anti dandruff shampoo. That shit can strip out a permanent colour like no one's business. We recommend it to people at work who want dreadlocks, because it makes your hair *voilà* less oily and, therefore, easier to dread. It won't dread up on it's own, so don't even worry about that part.

[drbunsen.livejournal.com]

I don't know, maybe you've tried this before, but have you considered ~not~ shampooing it every day? I used to have oil issues, then I took a friend's advice to wash in water only, and brush all the way through and thoroughly every day (male, long hair). After a while my scalp stopped producing as much oil. It took maybe a couple of weeks from memory.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

If I try that, I'll do it after my birthday party.

And I commend you for keeping long hair. Not enough dudes do that any more and that makes me a very sad panda.