Rage ON, bitches.

[logansrogue]

I'm mad, dudes. I am in a towering rage. It's the sort of rage that people rarely feel, and I'd never want them to. It goes deep down, right down into my bones and it would eat me alive if I let it. I am doing my utmost to be a good, caring, gentle human being. I AGONISED over the decision to release a certain post full of information. I carefully came to the choice of using a certain person's internet handle instead of using their real name, so that they could still find work, but still be easily identified as the perpetrator amongst our social circle. Making him a social pariah seemed like an ACCEPTABLE OUTCOME to me. It seems the LEAST of his punishment.

He feels bad? GOOD. HE'S SUPPOSED TO. I'M NOT FEELING BAD ABOUT THAT, OKAY? I'M NOT A BAD PERSON FOR BEING HAPPY THAT HE'S SORRY. IT WAS HIS FAULT. EVERYTHING, ALL OF THIS, IS HIS FAULT, AND HE KNOWS IT. HOW FUCKING DARE HE TURN THIS INTO BEING ABOUT HIM. HOW FUCKING DARE HE. FOR ONCE IN MY FUCKING LIFE I AM TOTALLY JUSTIFIED IN SAYING THAT THIS IS ALL. ABOUT. ME.

So if you wanna come into my journal and tell me that I'm making myself the victim here, or defend that festering gob of shite that hurt me, let me save you the fucking effort. I don't want to hear it.

No really, guys, READ THIS THREAD.

I'm only human. My anger is a weakness in some ways, but it's kept me sane through some of the darkest days of my life so far. Don't you fucking dare tell me that I don't have a right to it, or that you feel bad because I feel bad. DON'T CARE, SERIOUSLY DON'T CARE. YOU REALLY DON'T SERIOUSLY EXPECT ME TO CARE, DO YOU?

... Phew. Good to get that out of my system.

Comments

[leviathan0999.livejournal.com]

There is nothing useful I can say that this icon doesn't say better.

[corglacier7.livejournal.com]

(blink) (blink) Dude, if anything, I applaud your courage in coming forward and being willing to admit what happened to you, as angry and hurt and ashamed as the experience must have made you feel. Too many women stay silent, particularly because "He has issues" or "He didn't mean it" or "It wasn't that much, we didn't have actual sex..." Just because he didn't throw you down on the ground, rape you, and leave you bleeding and doesn't mean that he didn't knowingly choose to violate you.

At the risk of possibly garnering TMI...is this kowren his girlfriend or his sister or something? If she is, her determination to defend him by tearing you down makes some weird kind of sense. Though it makes me sad that she'd excuse him by blaming you for telling the truth.

So she's angry that your choice to expose his actions is apparently affecting her life in some fashion. My answer to that is frankly a blunt: "It wouldn't affect you at all if he hadn't fucking done it in the first place." She needs to put the blame where it belongs.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie. I really *really* needed to hear this. *hugs*

[corglacier7.livejournal.com]

Welcome! (hugs back) This was rather more articulate than my first reaction, which was basically, "...tha fuck?!"

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

LOL. Yeah, that was my reaction too.

[asweetdownfall.livejournal.com]

What a jackass. :/

You had every right to reveal his name, Nance. No one should ever fault you for that.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Thanks, sweety. *hugs*

Originally this comment was just supposed to be one paragraph long.

[shantari.livejournal.com]

You're only a victim if you call yourself that? YOU'RE ONLY A VICTIM IF YOU CALL YOURSELF THAT??????? WHAT THE FLYING MONKEY FUCKKKK!!???!?!?!?!?!?!

On the one hand, warning of a potential rapist so that other women will keep their guard up, on the other hand protect the integrity of said potential rapist because it might in some way effect one more person. Yeah, I'm going to have to go with the "better for the many over the few". Damn you soap operas with your dirty women faking rapes so that society gets it ingrained that all rape cases are in this mysterious grey area where it might be something that you "should just get over" and not give the "accused" a potential hell.

Regretting is one thing, it is not the same as taking the consequences of your actions, you end up doing both if you are anything worth having a name. His lj-username being out in the open? Oh noes! It's almost as bad as having his real name out? Does this person expect you to "almost" care? When companies google names, I'm hard pressed to think they would then go to the trouble googling the username associated with the RL name, if a clear association exists or not. Was he intoxicated? In any way bereft of his senses that could clear him from accepting responsibility? Was he provoked by you or anyone else? No, at least not as I gather from the way you told it, and your story didn't leave any swingroom for any of that, and this is not a thing I can see or imagine you lie about. If there are any people I can imagine fabricating such a story, I hope I never meet them. So yeah, consequences follow on your actions, and regrets follow you if you have a conscience. They're not the same thing just because their origin's the same.

*hugs for you* *and some saffran buns*

Re: Originally this comment was just supposed to be one paragraph long.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Thank you, my raging protector of loff. *hugs* (I'm high on sedatives presently to stop the panic and it's working quite effectively.)

[originalnilson.livejournal.com]

I got so angry reading her comments that I cried lol. I read her comments here and in Terrycat's lj. I held back posting to her directly because it's obvious that she is blindly protecting her family unit and is being completely unsympathetic to your situation.

Ignore her comments best you can dude. Listen to those around you who are thinking with a rational mind.

You had every right to out him - It was the right thing to do. And he is now having to face the consequences of said actions, and hopefully will seek the help he needs. If he hadn't had to confront it, it might of gone on without proper attention.

I was expecting this to happen eventually, some people close to him will might retaliate somewhat. Just remember that those close to, you care about you, and I love you, and we are never going to stop supporting you.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

God blessed me when you popped out of Mummy's cooter. It's moments like this that you're as much an angel to me as you looked when you were fresh and white and fey.

That makes little sense but I'm still high.

[sir-devans.livejournal.com]

Just remember that those close to, you care about you, and I love you, and we are never going to stop supporting you.
ditto.

[gracie-in-greek.livejournal.com]

*Hughug* I commented. I hope that's okay.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It was awesome. My friends are kick-arse amazons all!

[windtear.livejournal.com]

You're not the only one, reading that thread. (((HUGS))) I'd like to apply my icon to her abdomen.

I'm glad you outed him. Don't you dare feel at all guilty. He did it, now let him wear it.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed at the ability of our society to somehow bring even the remorse and negative social consequences of being a sex offender down to being the victim's responsibility somehow. Like the things he's suffering are unfair or too much for him to bear and I'm supposed to fix that somehow. What, because in this situation the justice system didn't think this important enough to make a case out of, I should never feel like I have a sense of justice? That I shouldn't do SOMETHING to protect other women out there, more vulnerable than me?

I'm trying not to feel guilty, but there's a deeper, emotional part of me that rarely listens to reason. Very hard to get that aspect of myself to calm down and chill.

Anyway, big thanks. *hugs*

[lauredhel.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what to say, except that I've been absolutely ragingly incensed since you first talked about this, and that feeling has only got stronger over time. The rapist (yes, I'm not tiptoing around this like his buddies are, I'm naming it for what it IS) needs to shut the fuck up and make amends to society[1] some way other than a writhing disclaimed-faux-cry-for-sympathy, and his enablers and apologists and coddlers need to shut the fuck up and take a long hard look at themselves.

[1] If he's wondering "but hooooow?", I suggest figuring out how long he should be in fucking PRISON for, and donating every single bit of above-subsistence income during that time to accessible rape crisis services. Just in case anyone asked me. That could be a start. And, obviously, taking bulletproof steps to ensure that he will never.do.it.again.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

You're gonna make me cry, girl. Your comment gave me a good thought. It was this.

That all this pain I'm feeling is a result of standing up. I don't regret it. I weather it. I'll keep on weathering it, cause the stories of people like me need to be heard. Women need to speak up. And if weathering this horrible pain can help people, then ever second of it is worth it. It's not for nothing.

[meleth.livejournal.com]

You're awesome.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

*arm hug* Just doing what's right for ma sistahs.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I'm grateful that you were able to express what I couldn't. I didn't feel I could cause, hell, from me it'd just seem hysterical. Far from minding, you've been a true friend to me and I thank you.

And I'm also glad to know that someone knows how it feels to be this way. How crippling it can be.

Thank you, from the bottom, top, left right and centre of my heart. *hugs*

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Thanks, buddy! *hugs* It's okay. Thank you for sharing a little bit of your story with me, that you trust me to do that, it means a lot.

You come forward when you're ready to, man. This is just how I coped with things, that's all.

Oh, bless! I'd love to be able to send one back. I'm scribbling inside a bunch of cheap Chimmis cards with textas. ;) So if you want one too, lemme know! (There's a post with an email if you want to have one).

[3starsinmyeyes.livejournal.com]

in the immortal words of my baby cousin "Fuck THAT crotch"

seriously, fuck them.

*hugs* Feel any fucking way you damn well please! If you need me, I'll be in the corner polishing my shovel.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I love my badass feminist mates, I really do. :D

[litashields.livejournal.com]

I am a horrible person, but I hope to god one day she accidently walks in on him and someone else. Denials a bitch honey, he doesn't deserve your defence.

*MASSIVE HUGS AND WARM FUZZIES JUST FOR J00*

I haven't done a good lambasting in a long time. All for you babe ^_^

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I'm just gonna hug you, man. *hugs*