God, so BORED.
Nov. 30th, 2008 02:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
logansrogueI have a lot of stuff to do and I'm not doing it. I don't know why. Well, I know why I haven't started some rather big paintings: I need money for new paints. Two huge new paintings and I'm going to need WAY more paint than what I've got. Maybe Dad will help me out by taking me somewhere where the paint is cheap.
Have had horrible depressive dips and panic flaps in the past three days, but I'm aiming to not let it get to me. I'm reticent to bring it up with my psych cause she's a clinical psychologist. She'll make me analyse my thoughts clinically and try to fix negative thinking patterns, when all I want right now is comfort and someone telling me that I'm not insane for feeling frightened or nervous, that it's going to take a while to get over the trauma I've been through and that I will get better and it'll be okay. *sigh* I keep telling myself that but when it's just me telling myself that, I feel like I'm being a little too optimistic.
God, it's so hard to be optimistic when you're a natural pessimist.
Have been in AGONY since having carrots for breakfast the day before yesterday. I don't know what I was thinking but I'm still in pain. Different parts of my digestive tract are taking turns going "OW! WOAH! Can NOT digest, motherfucker!" Well, I'm SORRY. I'm SORRY, intestines. I thought I was a fucking OMNIVORE. I'll keep in mind in the future that delicious wonderful chunks of sweet crunchy carrot are beyond your abilities and shred and pulp the fucking things up. What are you, 80 years old?! SHAH!
I still haven't got my new cordless tablet yet. It'll be nice to do light-weight sketches when I'm using my laptop. Though, I might have overloaded it already by putting The Sims 2 plus every expansion pack imaginable on as well. Now I only have 30 gigs left on an 160 gig drive and it's just starting to go, "Woah... hang on... be with you in a tick..." Bugger it all.
*sing song* All I want for Christmas, is a stick of RAM! Not for my lappie, for my main machine. If it had 2 gigs, it'd run better. Then I could play my games on it again. I can draw on it all right at the moment but I haven't tried anything hardcore in a while.
Okay, unfunnybusiness time. So I'm sure you've all heard of the poor WalMart employee that got trampled by hordes of deal-crazed poor people in the States, yes? Long Island or somewhere. I tell you, this is everything I hate about people. I understand how it happens. I understand, psychologically, why it happens. Survival instinct kicks in. In large numbers, people go crazy. Mob mentality, etc etc. But I can't really escape the big underlying issue here, the thing that breaks my heart.
A guy died for STUFF. It's just STUFF. Stuff that'll be thrown out in a few years. Stuff that'll be ignored a couple of months after Christmas. For that stuff, a family lost a loved one. I mean, what the fuck, humanity? What the fuck!?
Have had horrible depressive dips and panic flaps in the past three days, but I'm aiming to not let it get to me. I'm reticent to bring it up with my psych cause she's a clinical psychologist. She'll make me analyse my thoughts clinically and try to fix negative thinking patterns, when all I want right now is comfort and someone telling me that I'm not insane for feeling frightened or nervous, that it's going to take a while to get over the trauma I've been through and that I will get better and it'll be okay. *sigh* I keep telling myself that but when it's just me telling myself that, I feel like I'm being a little too optimistic.
God, it's so hard to be optimistic when you're a natural pessimist.
Have been in AGONY since having carrots for breakfast the day before yesterday. I don't know what I was thinking but I'm still in pain. Different parts of my digestive tract are taking turns going "OW! WOAH! Can NOT digest, motherfucker!" Well, I'm SORRY. I'm SORRY, intestines. I thought I was a fucking OMNIVORE. I'll keep in mind in the future that delicious wonderful chunks of sweet crunchy carrot are beyond your abilities and shred and pulp the fucking things up. What are you, 80 years old?! SHAH!
I still haven't got my new cordless tablet yet. It'll be nice to do light-weight sketches when I'm using my laptop. Though, I might have overloaded it already by putting The Sims 2 plus every expansion pack imaginable on as well. Now I only have 30 gigs left on an 160 gig drive and it's just starting to go, "Woah... hang on... be with you in a tick..." Bugger it all.
*sing song* All I want for Christmas, is a stick of RAM! Not for my lappie, for my main machine. If it had 2 gigs, it'd run better. Then I could play my games on it again. I can draw on it all right at the moment but I haven't tried anything hardcore in a while.
Okay, unfunnybusiness time. So I'm sure you've all heard of the poor WalMart employee that got trampled by hordes of deal-crazed poor people in the States, yes? Long Island or somewhere. I tell you, this is everything I hate about people. I understand how it happens. I understand, psychologically, why it happens. Survival instinct kicks in. In large numbers, people go crazy. Mob mentality, etc etc. But I can't really escape the big underlying issue here, the thing that breaks my heart.
A guy died for STUFF. It's just STUFF. Stuff that'll be thrown out in a few years. Stuff that'll be ignored a couple of months after Christmas. For that stuff, a family lost a loved one. I mean, what the fuck, humanity? What the fuck!?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-01 04:52 am (UTC)Nancy is that ok love???????
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-01 06:39 am (UTC)