The intricacies of Emotional Manipulation
May. 24th, 2001 09:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
logansrogueGeez. I really hate Jim. I so wouldn't have to put up with half the fuck ups I have to if he hadn't of been such a jerk to me in Pasadena. At least he's over me now - that's a relief. Still - I seem like the biggest bitch in the world to so many people just because I don't forgive him for what he did or how he behaves. He doesn't seem sorry for it - why should I forgive him then? No point forgiving someone who hasn't learned, who doesn't give a fuck, who still harbours animosity towards you. Obviously he does or he wouldn't have gotten snooty with me. I know him - his outburst on AmazonRPG was damn near close to an emotional breakdown for him.
The stupid thing is, nothing THAT serious happened to me. I mean - he didn't DO that much. It was all subtle and psychological, so when people say "What did he do to you?" and I say what he did they're like "Aren't you being a bit over-reactive? He just sounds lonely to me."
Yes. He obviously was lonely. He was also a fuck up. I'm NOT crazy, and I'm NOT a bitch dammit. I'm sick of my family saying that I'm being cruel to him, or that I shouldn't get angry about it. I have every RIGHT to and it makes me SICK to my gills every time someone talks to him and doesn't know what he did.
It makes me wanna rip his balls of and stuff them into his eye sockets. That's anger.
It's also unhealthy. People refuse to talk about it, and it's maddening cause I NEED TO, or I'll never get over it. So Findle - talk to me about it will ya? Is it a crime for me to need to tell people about what I went through? Maybe.
Apparently people are talking. Hmm, I should be feeling sorry about that, but I'm not. My evil bitch inside is going "HAAHAHAHA! Oh man, sucked in."
I never claimed to be a good girl. I'm a bad bad bad girl, I think. Bad girl Nacey. Nacey doesn't do the right things. If Nacey were a good girl, she'd forgive Jim regardless like Jesus said you should, and be all warm and fuzzy inside.
But when I try to do that, I feel like vomiting.
God help me.
The stupid thing is, nothing THAT serious happened to me. I mean - he didn't DO that much. It was all subtle and psychological, so when people say "What did he do to you?" and I say what he did they're like "Aren't you being a bit over-reactive? He just sounds lonely to me."
Yes. He obviously was lonely. He was also a fuck up. I'm NOT crazy, and I'm NOT a bitch dammit. I'm sick of my family saying that I'm being cruel to him, or that I shouldn't get angry about it. I have every RIGHT to and it makes me SICK to my gills every time someone talks to him and doesn't know what he did.
It makes me wanna rip his balls of and stuff them into his eye sockets. That's anger.
It's also unhealthy. People refuse to talk about it, and it's maddening cause I NEED TO, or I'll never get over it. So Findle - talk to me about it will ya? Is it a crime for me to need to tell people about what I went through? Maybe.
Apparently people are talking. Hmm, I should be feeling sorry about that, but I'm not. My evil bitch inside is going "HAAHAHAHA! Oh man, sucked in."
I never claimed to be a good girl. I'm a bad bad bad girl, I think. Bad girl Nacey. Nacey doesn't do the right things. If Nacey were a good girl, she'd forgive Jim regardless like Jesus said you should, and be all warm and fuzzy inside.
But when I try to do that, I feel like vomiting.
God help me.
