FUCKING CAT!!!

[logansrogue]

All night, ALL FUCKING NIGHT she has been chasing this dying cockroach around the floor. A TWO INCH FUCKING RED WOOD COCKROACH. And the little yellow whoore chased the muthafucking thing RIGHT UP MY SKIRT until it was nestled in my CROTCH lovingly, enjoying the safe harbour that is my love-box, because, oh yeah - NOBODY GOES UP THERE.

Except my half-mad fucking CAT, apparently.

I didn't even noticed till I felt something moist touch my thigh and I knew it wasn't either of the following things:

- A nice erect cock
- my cat because she was sitting there looking at me in the hallway and not between my legs.


So I lift my volumous skirt and have a look and HELLO!! Red cocky between my gams! Not the kind of action I was after this weekend, I tell you! I let out a blood curdling scream, flick it off the chair once I realise it's not a huge fucking spider and flick it across the room.

And the little fucking furry bitch KEEPS BRINGING IT BACK TO ME. She likes chasing it around under my skirt and shoving it firmly under my bare foot. My cat is a CUNT! No, she can't wake me up with cute furry nuzzles and sit and purr in my lap. Oh no. Hell no. Never a thanks for cleaning up her shit and feeding her every day, doing everything for the thankless little bitch. No, she gives me DEAD FUCKING ARTHROPODS IN MY KNICKERS!

I am *this* close to becoming a dog person.

ETA: Awww. She's laid out by my feet, showing off her fluffy tummy and being adorable. Damn her cuteness.

Comments

[fortuna-juvat.livejournal.com]

It looks like someone needs to be metaquoted. Ok by you?

[amichandrn.livejournal.com]

Ok, total hilarity

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Oh please do! I've never been metaquoted before! :D

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

She's loyal but cruel.

[azinazelle.livejournal.com]

are you sure she isn't Xena reincarnated?

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm sure she's not. Xena was waaaaaay sedate, even though she had this weird habit of rolling in dirt like a nut. Plus Xena was coordinated. Rogue is a complete clown. LOL!

[azinazelle.livejournal.com]

I can see that ... and quite a bitch if she keeps trying to get a roach in your knickers. Now if only she tried to get a gorgeous guy there with such enthusiasm you'd have it made. ;)

[classicanne01.livejournal.com]

OMB!
This was hilarious!
hahaha!

[asweetdownfall.livejournal.com]

I am so creeped out I can't say anything incoherent. Except.....EUUUGHHHHH.

Rogue sure knows how to play dirty. :P