Sometimes I wonder why I bother.
Aug. 25th, 2006 06:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
logansrogueLet me tell you about a little fic I wrote.
'Little' is kind of an understatement. Causa Anima was a real labour of love. I researched it, I put my heart into it, and I did't rush into sex scenes or anything cause I wanted it to feel just like a movie.
That was the aim. It was what I wanted X2 to be, and the next in the series, Sentinel, will be my X3.
When I released it, I was underwhelmed by the feedback I got. That's my honest opinion. I put so much hard work into that fic but I think it was too general a fic to release to a Wolverine/Rogue list. And it was probably too W/R to release to a general list, which I may have done as well. (I refuse to call the ship Rogan. That is the name of a kind of curry. How unromantic!)
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't write for the feedback. If I did, I would have given up on my Mummy fics years ago. I certainly wouldn't be writing Secret Garden fic, and I would be writing Snape/Hermione because that seems by far to be the most popular ship out there (or it was when I joined that crazy fandom - there are a lot of people with Daddy issues out there).
Okay - so let's keep that in mind. I worked hard on it, it's never been a fic I've had much feedback on. Most fics which I get feedback on that I release? Are the smut ones. Thank Goodness for Small Mercies, or The Snitch, or - actually. The only fandom where that doesn't apply is Xena. My big series based on GJ and AX got the most response, that and The Band. (I don't know why people like The Band so much. It's so silly!).
Anyway. I wandered. Point being - worked hard, not much feedback. So, imagine my excitement this morning when I saw a mail in my inbox - it was a feedback form response from WRFA (Wolverine Rogue Fanfic Archive). I was so thrilled. Finally, a bit of feedback on something I worked real hard on! Yay!
The review was as follows:
Her codename is Ms. Mravel [sic]. You Dumbass
Now, don't get me wrong. I can take criticism. I'd have to, or I wouldn't have been writing twelve years of my life with any improvement, you know? But that's just plain rude.
It breaks my heart, really. I work so hard on that fucking story and this is what I get out of it?
Yes, I changed Carol Danvers' mutant identity. I wanted the story to be like the movies. Do you honestly think they'd have a character in the X-Movies called 'Ms. Marvel'? As I said to this person, it's a tacky name. I called her Binary cause it sounded better. Probably wasn't a wise move cause that was a name from an alternate storyline, (I think), and her powers didn't really relate to it (When she was Binary I think her power was linked to computers somehow - I'm hazy on the subject). Yes, it was bad research. But I would have appreciated an informative fanboy crit than being called a dumbass.
Ugh. Just - pages and pages of hard work brought down to one sentence.
Maybe I'm being oversensitive. Probably. My feedback amount for the work that I've released has dropped dramaticly since I stopped producing Harry Potter work. I'm still wrapping my head around it, really. I don't expect people to love everything I do, or follow me wherever my fandom loves take me. I understand entirely that in doing obscure work (Dune, Mummy, Xena, etc) that I'm also going to be cutting down the amount of people I am reaching out to.
It still kinda disappoints though, even though I know, logically, what's going on. I'm not mad, or whiny (Okay, maybe I AM being whiny) but I am just a little - sigh. You know? Just *sigh*. Disheartened, I guess.
Well, back to it, I suppose. You've seen how many things I have on my writing plate. Maybe I should just stop being so ambitious and stick to art and singing or something. (That's my version of - I think I'll go eat worms. Ignore my melodrama).
'Little' is kind of an understatement. Causa Anima was a real labour of love. I researched it, I put my heart into it, and I did't rush into sex scenes or anything cause I wanted it to feel just like a movie.
That was the aim. It was what I wanted X2 to be, and the next in the series, Sentinel, will be my X3.
When I released it, I was underwhelmed by the feedback I got. That's my honest opinion. I put so much hard work into that fic but I think it was too general a fic to release to a Wolverine/Rogue list. And it was probably too W/R to release to a general list, which I may have done as well. (I refuse to call the ship Rogan. That is the name of a kind of curry. How unromantic!)
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't write for the feedback. If I did, I would have given up on my Mummy fics years ago. I certainly wouldn't be writing Secret Garden fic, and I would be writing Snape/Hermione because that seems by far to be the most popular ship out there (or it was when I joined that crazy fandom - there are a lot of people with Daddy issues out there).
Okay - so let's keep that in mind. I worked hard on it, it's never been a fic I've had much feedback on. Most fics which I get feedback on that I release? Are the smut ones. Thank Goodness for Small Mercies, or The Snitch, or - actually. The only fandom where that doesn't apply is Xena. My big series based on GJ and AX got the most response, that and The Band. (I don't know why people like The Band so much. It's so silly!).
Anyway. I wandered. Point being - worked hard, not much feedback. So, imagine my excitement this morning when I saw a mail in my inbox - it was a feedback form response from WRFA (Wolverine Rogue Fanfic Archive). I was so thrilled. Finally, a bit of feedback on something I worked real hard on! Yay!
The review was as follows:
Her codename is Ms. Mravel [sic]. You Dumbass
Now, don't get me wrong. I can take criticism. I'd have to, or I wouldn't have been writing twelve years of my life with any improvement, you know? But that's just plain rude.
It breaks my heart, really. I work so hard on that fucking story and this is what I get out of it?
Yes, I changed Carol Danvers' mutant identity. I wanted the story to be like the movies. Do you honestly think they'd have a character in the X-Movies called 'Ms. Marvel'? As I said to this person, it's a tacky name. I called her Binary cause it sounded better. Probably wasn't a wise move cause that was a name from an alternate storyline, (I think), and her powers didn't really relate to it (When she was Binary I think her power was linked to computers somehow - I'm hazy on the subject). Yes, it was bad research. But I would have appreciated an informative fanboy crit than being called a dumbass.
Ugh. Just - pages and pages of hard work brought down to one sentence.
Maybe I'm being oversensitive. Probably. My feedback amount for the work that I've released has dropped dramaticly since I stopped producing Harry Potter work. I'm still wrapping my head around it, really. I don't expect people to love everything I do, or follow me wherever my fandom loves take me. I understand entirely that in doing obscure work (Dune, Mummy, Xena, etc) that I'm also going to be cutting down the amount of people I am reaching out to.
It still kinda disappoints though, even though I know, logically, what's going on. I'm not mad, or whiny (Okay, maybe I AM being whiny) but I am just a little - sigh. You know? Just *sigh*. Disheartened, I guess.
Well, back to it, I suppose. You've seen how many things I have on my writing plate. Maybe I should just stop being so ambitious and stick to art and singing or something. (That's my version of - I think I'll go eat worms. Ignore my melodrama).
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 10:51 pm (UTC)opular ship out there (or it was when I joined that crazy fandom - there are a lot of people with Daddy issues out there).
No kidding...
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 10:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 11:04 pm (UTC)but a review like that does not deserve your time or worries. You're a good writer.
*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-24 11:08 pm (UTC)I think I'm working up to a bummed out day. But hey.
At least I got a great spam. The subject line was 'stirring pianos'. Sounds like an album title, doesn't it?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 02:48 am (UTC)I wouldn't put too much stock in it. Seriously.
*hugs the Nancy*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 03:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 08:25 am (UTC)S/h/it called you stupid? Couldn't even spell the name s/he implored was factual... Gaahhh! Would it be so bothersome to give a review overall over the fic? You know? Name wrong, rest good/bad/medium rare?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 01:14 pm (UTC)But yeah. It sucks hard for a while - it's like, you KILL yourself to make something you know is quality, and it gets ignored in favour of the same story that gets rewritten over and over again by fifty different fangirls. I don't think I'll ever stop being mildly bitter, but it no longer interferes with my desire to write, so that's something. :)
*hugs* Eh, I hope my point is coming across - that point being, you know you're good, I know you're good, those of us reading know you're good, and fundamentally you enjoy writing and you are aware that you're writing for yourself. The disappointment, I know just what you're going through, and I can vouch somewhat from the stage I'm at - it fades.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 08:46 pm (UTC)And thank you for saying that I'm good. It means a lot!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 08:55 pm (UTC)Of course I'll say you're good. That's because you're good! Silly. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 08:59 pm (UTC)Awww shucks, Xeb! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 02:08 pm (UTC)I write for me, because I enjoy writing, and because the two friends I have on the internets still poke me for fic on occasion. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 08:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-25 03:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-27 05:45 am (UTC)*kicks the stupid person who can't spell Marvel*
*hugs*