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logansrogueI'm not known for my writing. Not really. I'm known for my art. For some reason the thing that touches people the most, the thing that I've had the most success at in life is my art. I'm not really sure why because I don't think my art is really that new or challenging or different. I have a lot of amazing works in me - what people see of my art is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what visions are inside my head. I could count ten people off the top of my head that are better artists than I am.
For some reason, my mind wants to write. Write original stories, not of someone else's universe. I have a story and it wants to be told. But every day I grieve cause I think "God damn it, I'm not good enough to tell this story. I'm not not a writer! There's so much to cover. They say 'Write what you know' but I don't know jack shit!"
I'm constantly in fear when I write. I'm scared my characters aren't interesting enough. I'm scared there's not enough to them. That they're cliched. That their lifestyles aren't real enough. That it's too predictable. Cause if I can see it all in my head, won't people see it ping off the page? Shit, maybe I've been reading too much Agatha Christie. It's amazing what that woman could do so effortlessly. She was a decievingly brilliant writer.
And really - why is this so fucking hard? The world I'm writing is the world I live in. It's not a new world, it's not like I'm writing Dune, or Harry Potter, or some super sci-fi/fantasy epic where I have to make shit up. Everything I need to know is there. But I don't know what it is to be a bar maid. I can *imagine* it, I've watched them working their butts off while drunken idiots slur their orders at them, even though they're already serving someone else.
I don't know what it's like to be a smart person. To be someone that's made it to University and actually finished what they went there to do. I decided that Miri would be serious enough about her writing that she'd take it that far, she'd do a course and try to learn the shit out of the English language. Looking into that kind of life makes it so achingly clear how *little* I know about crafting a story, how ill-equipped I am at this game.
And yet there's still this story that's busting to be told, and I don't want anyone else to tell it. Sometimes I think it's a fucking stupid idea for a story, but it's there nevertheless. Seriously - I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I see Lori's work and talk to her about her writing and I feel like a fucking idiot, fumbling around helplessly with words, not understanding their true weight and power.
I often wish I had someone to talk to when writing. It's so important for me to have a sounding board. I hate bothering people, though, and I just *know* I'm boring folks when I bring up my original work. I also fear that I'll come off as one of these people that only like to talk about themselves, cause this just isn't true.
I've been working on the characters, trying to fill them out. I discovered Miriam is a lot more uptight than I first imagined her. Felix is more of a man than I realised. I'm always scared that Felix is too much the 'idealised romance novel male'. I'd hate that. Would he really feel the things I have him feeling? Is there such a thing as a man who just loves to kick back with a certain woman and watch videos, get drunk or stoned and eat pizza? I guess I've known a bunch of those men, so it has to be true.
Miriam is so fucking naive. Her best friend, Genny, is not. She's not much more than a blush of an idea, a ghost of a person. But there's going to be a lot to her. She's the glue that binds the social scene together. The rock.
It's going to be hard to write Errol, because he's based on a stereotype. Sort of. He's the man women *think* they want. The man they think they can tame, the man they percieve as the perfect fellow. But he's human, too, he has to be otherwise he's just a cheap plot device. So filling out Errol, figuring out why he is the way he is... it's going to be tough. Because I'm *nothing* like him. I don't understand people like him. Why does he do the things he does?
Anyway, it's 2am, I have to make sure my sister's girls get to sleep (they're staying the night). I might read some more Poirot, too. I like snuggling up with some Poirot. *laugh*
Laters. Sorry about the tl;dr-age.
For some reason, my mind wants to write. Write original stories, not of someone else's universe. I have a story and it wants to be told. But every day I grieve cause I think "God damn it, I'm not good enough to tell this story. I'm not not a writer! There's so much to cover. They say 'Write what you know' but I don't know jack shit!"
I'm constantly in fear when I write. I'm scared my characters aren't interesting enough. I'm scared there's not enough to them. That they're cliched. That their lifestyles aren't real enough. That it's too predictable. Cause if I can see it all in my head, won't people see it ping off the page? Shit, maybe I've been reading too much Agatha Christie. It's amazing what that woman could do so effortlessly. She was a decievingly brilliant writer.
And really - why is this so fucking hard? The world I'm writing is the world I live in. It's not a new world, it's not like I'm writing Dune, or Harry Potter, or some super sci-fi/fantasy epic where I have to make shit up. Everything I need to know is there. But I don't know what it is to be a bar maid. I can *imagine* it, I've watched them working their butts off while drunken idiots slur their orders at them, even though they're already serving someone else.
I don't know what it's like to be a smart person. To be someone that's made it to University and actually finished what they went there to do. I decided that Miri would be serious enough about her writing that she'd take it that far, she'd do a course and try to learn the shit out of the English language. Looking into that kind of life makes it so achingly clear how *little* I know about crafting a story, how ill-equipped I am at this game.
And yet there's still this story that's busting to be told, and I don't want anyone else to tell it. Sometimes I think it's a fucking stupid idea for a story, but it's there nevertheless. Seriously - I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I see Lori's work and talk to her about her writing and I feel like a fucking idiot, fumbling around helplessly with words, not understanding their true weight and power.
I often wish I had someone to talk to when writing. It's so important for me to have a sounding board. I hate bothering people, though, and I just *know* I'm boring folks when I bring up my original work. I also fear that I'll come off as one of these people that only like to talk about themselves, cause this just isn't true.
I've been working on the characters, trying to fill them out. I discovered Miriam is a lot more uptight than I first imagined her. Felix is more of a man than I realised. I'm always scared that Felix is too much the 'idealised romance novel male'. I'd hate that. Would he really feel the things I have him feeling? Is there such a thing as a man who just loves to kick back with a certain woman and watch videos, get drunk or stoned and eat pizza? I guess I've known a bunch of those men, so it has to be true.
Miriam is so fucking naive. Her best friend, Genny, is not. She's not much more than a blush of an idea, a ghost of a person. But there's going to be a lot to her. She's the glue that binds the social scene together. The rock.
It's going to be hard to write Errol, because he's based on a stereotype. Sort of. He's the man women *think* they want. The man they think they can tame, the man they percieve as the perfect fellow. But he's human, too, he has to be otherwise he's just a cheap plot device. So filling out Errol, figuring out why he is the way he is... it's going to be tough. Because I'm *nothing* like him. I don't understand people like him. Why does he do the things he does?
Anyway, it's 2am, I have to make sure my sister's girls get to sleep (they're staying the night). I might read some more Poirot, too. I like snuggling up with some Poirot. *laugh*
Laters. Sorry about the tl;dr-age.
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-21 06:05 pm (UTC)Are you referring to me in that sentence? You may know another writer named Lori, not sure.
But that's not why I commented. It's this: I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Sounds like a really good place to start to me.
Here's a news flash: I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, either. I was never trained for this, not formally. I flailed and spewed until one day I discovered that I could put a few sentences together. Then I flailed some more and years passed and more flailing and now I'm at least competent. Kinda.
You can talk to me about your writing anytime. I'd be happy to read and/or critique anything you'd like some feedback on, if my opinion would be helpful or desired.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-22 09:36 am (UTC)I've started, that's the main thing. And I'm not giving up, that's the second good point.
I hate to think of bothering you cause you seem busy, but if you're offering, I'll accept.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-21 06:36 pm (UTC)I'm sure a lot of writers didn't know what they were doing either. Maybe they just sat down one day and said, "Alright, I'm gonna do this." or maybe they just starting spewing stuff out without actually knowing what the fuck they were doing either. ^^*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-21 08:17 pm (UTC)When I come with a story, it's always becuase of characters. I have analised many people I find really interesting in my life, people that are nothing like me. I can understand why they are like that, sometimes. I put parts of their personalities in my characters, and then I play with why they are like that.
I know what you mean with not knowing about how is the life of one kind of person or another, that's why I dropped many ideas. May be you should be more curious. Interview someone, that may help.
And, Nancy, I actually like your original stuff. Even if I haven't seen much of them.
Ok, I know I'm not helping much here, but I think you can do it.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-22 09:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-22 06:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-21 08:17 pm (UTC)Have you done nanowrimo? If not, check out nanowrimo.org - if you want sounding boards, the whole THING is a sounding board. Not to mention the forums. :) *HUGS*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-21 08:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-22 09:37 am (UTC)There's so much to know, and such little time to know it in. :-P
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-21 11:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-22 12:04 am (UTC)1) Oooh, Logan/Marie fic!
2) OOOH!!!! Good fic Logan/Marie fic with bonus Remy/Jubes!
3) ::Reads all Nancy fic she can get her grubby little hands on::
4) ::Eventually, discovers Nancy's art::
5) ::jaw drops::
6) ::Still in shock::
7) ::squees at pretties::
8) ::Discovers Nancy's musical talent::
9) ::is jealous and wants to have Nancy's babies.::
10) ::Realizes this is impossible and decided to worship Nancy instead::
Thus endeth my little thingie.
Basically, I like your writing. You rock my socks and you are more than a kick-ass artist. Please write more. And there is no such thing as a dumb idea. Unless it comes from Bush's lips.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-22 06:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-23 03:10 pm (UTC)Heh, thats obvious. We're not smart, just institutionalised. If you want to understand university folk, watch the "Shawshank Redemption" ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-23 03:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-24 07:20 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-24 12:22 am (UTC)I've said before that I'll read anything, and I can think critically. I really do read alot so I have a good idea what I'm talking about too.