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logansrogueHi folks.
In this hard-hitting, gut-wrenching, tear-jerking edition of "Nacey's Journal", we interview a young woman who's devotion to a bottle-blonde vamp poet from London knows no reasonable bounds. Yes, I'm talking about Spike, and Kawcrow.
Today we interview Kawcrow, and Spike may possibly be muttering things too, if we're lucky. Aren't I way cooler than Malcom that's apparently in the Middle? Okay, on with the interview.
LogansRogue: Hello, Kawwy.
Kawcrow: Hello, Nacey.
Kawcrow: this is going to be a deep and thought-provoking interview, isn't it.
LogansRogue: Yes it is.
LogansRogue: Yes... Spike. The apple of your eye, the stake in your heart. How did it all begin, baby?
Kawcrow: indeed
Kawcrow: hmmm...how did what begin? obsession with "Buffy" or with Spike specifically?
Spike: {looks hurt} Are you saying you didn't fall head over heels for me the moment you laid eyes on me?
Kawcrow: Baby?
Spike: Yes luv?
Kawcrow: Shut up.
LogansRogue: Spike specifically, shoogah.
Kawcrow: Allrighty then *rubs hands together in evil anticipation*
Kawcrow: I'd always really liked Spike in a cute-villain sort of way--you know, "Oooh, he's kinda cute for an evil guy, but I wouldn't secretly tear pictures of him out of my sister's 'Teen' magazine under cover of darkness" sort of thing.
LogansRogue:
Kawcrow: Then at Christmas (2000) my sister gave me a bunch of this-season "Buffy" tapes that she'd secretly taped for me at her dorm, because we don't get Buffy in this part of the country anymore. But I was still in my bitter "If I Can't Watch Buffy, I Just Won't LIKE Buffy!" denial phase, so I refused to watch the tapes for a month or two.
LogansRogue: Aaaah. Must have been difficult for you.
Kawcrow: Oh no
Kawcrow: Sitting there staring at tapes for hours saying to self "I no longer watch Buffy, so I need not watch these tapes" was really quite simple and fortifying to will.
LogansRogue: You're nuts.
LogansRogue: What broke your will?
Kawcrow: Sheer stultifying boredom
Kawcrow: "I no longer watch Buffy, so I need not watch these tapes; but if I do not watch SOMETHING I will go mad and start playing Richard Simmons videos in slow-mo"
LogansRogue: Wow. You heard it first.
LogansRogue: So, about Spike...
Spike: Yeah yeah, get to the good part. Borin' people out of their minds here.
LogansRogue: Doesn't he have a hard time getting it up, with him being dead and all?
Kawcrow2: *blinks*
Kawcrow2: yes. well. ahem.
LogansRogue: I mean... he's dead.
LogansRogue: No blood flow....
LogansRogue: Right?
Spike: Look, it's like this--there's these rules o' fanfic, right? 'Specially a certain type o' fanfic, you get my meanin'. An' onnada rules is "Y'can't explain somethin', ignore it."
LogansRogue: Oh.
LogansRogue: You can't get it up. Okay... moving on...
Kawcrow: If we all thought about things too much, he'd dissolve into a pile of dust instantly, because there's no *logical* way he can be alive...
Spike: *cough*
Kawcrow: So to speak.
Spike: HEY!
Kawcrow: Well, what do you want me to say? I can't defend you without looking like a slut!
LogansRogue: Was it just me or did I say 'moving on'?
LogansRogue: And thus we discover Kawcrow's fixation on Spike's little problem...
Kawcrow: Spike? Obsesso-Boy? Moving on?
Spike: Oh, look who's bloody talking.
LogansRogue: Insult the interviewer, Mr. Bloody Awful, and I'll edit your words so you come out of the closet as Angel's boyfriend.
LogansRogue: Gosh, where were we?
LogansRogue: Angel! Angel.
Spike: WHAT?! Even me as a poofter would have better taste--mmph! MMPH!
Kawcrow: *bright cheery grin* Moving ON.
LogansRogue: What pointy sharp wooden things do you think he has firmly wedged up his behind?
Kawcrow: Oh. Hmm.
Kawcrow: Lots of them?
LogansRogue: Not that he's too bad.
Kawcrow: Oh, not at all
Kawcrow: except when he's being Bad. but even then he's not bad in other ways
LogansRogue: I grow tired of Angel.
LogansRogue: Let's move on quickly
Kawcrow: he's got that whole "Comfort me, I'm an angsty brooding leather-clad creature of the night who needs your love" thing going for him
Kawcrow: Ahhh...again with the moving on
Spike: You could learn from this bird, luv.
LogansRogue: Well... maybe...
LogansRogue: Maybe Angel can't get it up either?
Kawcrow2: unfortunately he can
Kawcrow2: that's why we had Bad Angel in season two...
LogansRogue: Naaah, I think they rubbed pink bits and because he was embarrassed and she was virginal nothing was ever said
LogansRogue: And the reason he was so happy was because he got away with passing it off for sex.
Kawcrow: I am going to block that previous exchange from my mind, please thank you.
Spike: *snicker*
LogansRogue: Fine. Fine.
Kawcrow: Ah'm uh a goo' gurl, Ah yam...
LogansRogue: Sure you are.
LogansRogue: The Host - coolest fruitcake to hit our screens since Widow Twanky or lame excuse to take advantage the gay community?
Kawcrow: We're going with option A, dahling!
Kawcrow: The entire "Angel" series was created specifically for The Host to give Angel fashion advice.
Kawcrow: and, y'know, reveal his Painfully Complex Destiny--but mostly the fashion advice
LogansRogue: Do you think he has a problem getting it up?
Kawcrow: I'm sensing a pattern in this interview.
LogansRogue: Well, I am one that faces the hard issues baby!
Ares: Or soft, as it were.
LogansRogue: I didn't ask you.
Ares: Sorry.
LogansRogue: Be quiet!
Kawcrow: ...indeed.
LogansRogue: Just thinking up the next question...
LogansRogue: This is hard you know...
Kawcrow: Yes
Kawcrow: the blocking-out of some of the questions is difficult as well...
LogansRogue: There are some things we must know in this life, deary.
LogansRogue: And after knowing me, you shall be well prepared!
LogansRogue: Wow... I'm thinking... if Spike shoots a load - it's probably cold huh?
LogansRogue: Like mayonaisse!
LogansRogue: EEEEEEW!
Kawcrow: I am NOT ANSWERING THAT
LogansRogue: Sorry, I'll shut up now, I'm really sorry!!!
LogansRogue: You know I haven't been to bed yet, right?
Spike: Hey, there's fanfic she could--
Kawcrow: WE are NOT ANSWERING THAT!
LogansRogue:
Spike: *gives her a fanged grin and lights a cigarette*
LogansRogue: The Protection of Bovines Society headed by Daisy T. Thoroughbred-DevonShire was recently quoted saying "Angel is quite likely the most horrific program on television in regard to their awareness of the Bovine Cause. Nearly every outfit their cast members wear has some article of leather goods in amongst it. Moo!" What do you and Spike have to say about this?
Spike: I'd say Driven Miss Daisy is paht o' a vast gov'ment conspir'cy out to dec'mate the leather industry, luv.
Kawcrow: My paranoid X-Fileyness is wearing off on him.
LogansRogue:
LogansRogue: Have you been getting down and dirty with the Mulder-Man?
Spike & Kawy: *blink, blink*
LogansRogue: Can he get it up?
Kawcrow: YES!
Kawcrow: YES HE CAN!
Kawcrow: THEY ALL CAN, IN VAST QUANTITIES!
Kawcrow: ARE WE HAPPY NOW?
LogansRogue: Wow, we finally have a definite affirmative!
LogansRogue: Ohh.... Ares? I think we broke her...
Ares: Yeah, I'd say so.
LogansRogue: Whoops...
Kawcrow: *makes squeaking noise and bangs head against wall*
Kawcrow: Snake in the woodshed! Snake in the WOODSHED!
Spike: *waves hand in front of her face* Hellooooo?
LogansRogue: And people, the most scary thing is - she asked for this!!
Spike: Masochist. She's got it to a tee.
Kawcrow: *pauses in the banging* You're one to talk. Snake in the WOODSHED!
LogansRogue: Well, that's all we have time for folks!! Remember, if your vamp can get it up, it's only going to be a cold mess! Love you all!
Spike: Hey, we are getting paid for this, right?
LogansRogue: No. I'm humiliating you for nothing.
Spike: Damn. *pauses, considering* All right then.
In this hard-hitting, gut-wrenching, tear-jerking edition of "Nacey's Journal", we interview a young woman who's devotion to a bottle-blonde vamp poet from London knows no reasonable bounds. Yes, I'm talking about Spike, and Kawcrow.
Today we interview Kawcrow, and Spike may possibly be muttering things too, if we're lucky. Aren't I way cooler than Malcom that's apparently in the Middle? Okay, on with the interview.
LogansRogue: Hello, Kawwy.
Kawcrow: Hello, Nacey.
Kawcrow: this is going to be a deep and thought-provoking interview, isn't it.
LogansRogue: Yes it is.
LogansRogue: Yes... Spike. The apple of your eye, the stake in your heart. How did it all begin, baby?
Kawcrow: indeed
Kawcrow: hmmm...how did what begin? obsession with "Buffy" or with Spike specifically?
Spike: {looks hurt} Are you saying you didn't fall head over heels for me the moment you laid eyes on me?
Kawcrow: Baby?
Spike: Yes luv?
Kawcrow: Shut up.
LogansRogue: Spike specifically, shoogah.
Kawcrow: Allrighty then *rubs hands together in evil anticipation*
Kawcrow: I'd always really liked Spike in a cute-villain sort of way--you know, "Oooh, he's kinda cute for an evil guy, but I wouldn't secretly tear pictures of him out of my sister's 'Teen' magazine under cover of darkness" sort of thing.
LogansRogue:
Kawcrow: Then at Christmas (2000) my sister gave me a bunch of this-season "Buffy" tapes that she'd secretly taped for me at her dorm, because we don't get Buffy in this part of the country anymore. But I was still in my bitter "If I Can't Watch Buffy, I Just Won't LIKE Buffy!" denial phase, so I refused to watch the tapes for a month or two.
LogansRogue: Aaaah. Must have been difficult for you.
Kawcrow: Oh no
Kawcrow: Sitting there staring at tapes for hours saying to self "I no longer watch Buffy, so I need not watch these tapes" was really quite simple and fortifying to will.
LogansRogue: You're nuts.
LogansRogue: What broke your will?
Kawcrow: Sheer stultifying boredom
Kawcrow: "I no longer watch Buffy, so I need not watch these tapes; but if I do not watch SOMETHING I will go mad and start playing Richard Simmons videos in slow-mo"
LogansRogue: Wow. You heard it first.
LogansRogue: So, about Spike...
Spike: Yeah yeah, get to the good part. Borin' people out of their minds here.
LogansRogue: Doesn't he have a hard time getting it up, with him being dead and all?
Kawcrow2: *blinks*
Kawcrow2: yes. well. ahem.
LogansRogue: I mean... he's dead.
LogansRogue: No blood flow....
LogansRogue: Right?
Spike: Look, it's like this--there's these rules o' fanfic, right? 'Specially a certain type o' fanfic, you get my meanin'. An' onnada rules is "Y'can't explain somethin', ignore it."
LogansRogue: Oh.
LogansRogue: You can't get it up.
Kawcrow: If we all thought about things too much, he'd dissolve into a pile of dust instantly, because there's no *logical* way he can be alive...
Spike: *cough*
Kawcrow: So to speak.
Spike: HEY!
Kawcrow: Well, what do you want me to say? I can't defend you without looking like a slut!
LogansRogue: Was it just me or did I say 'moving on'?
LogansRogue: And thus we discover Kawcrow's fixation on Spike's little problem...
Kawcrow: Spike? Obsesso-Boy? Moving on?
Spike: Oh, look who's bloody talking.
LogansRogue: Insult the interviewer, Mr. Bloody Awful, and I'll edit your words so you come out of the closet as Angel's boyfriend.
LogansRogue: Gosh, where were we?
LogansRogue: Angel! Angel.
Spike: WHAT?! Even me as a poofter would have better taste--mmph! MMPH!
Kawcrow: *bright cheery grin* Moving ON.
LogansRogue: What pointy sharp wooden things do you think he has firmly wedged up his behind?
Kawcrow: Oh. Hmm.
Kawcrow: Lots of them?
LogansRogue: Not that he's too bad.
Kawcrow: Oh, not at all
Kawcrow: except when he's being Bad. but even then he's not bad in other ways
LogansRogue: I grow tired of Angel.
LogansRogue: Let's move on quickly
Kawcrow: he's got that whole "Comfort me, I'm an angsty brooding leather-clad creature of the night who needs your love" thing going for him
Kawcrow: Ahhh...again with the moving on
Spike: You could learn from this bird, luv.
LogansRogue: Well... maybe...
LogansRogue: Maybe Angel can't get it up either?
Kawcrow2: unfortunately he can
Kawcrow2: that's why we had Bad Angel in season two...
LogansRogue: Naaah, I think they rubbed pink bits and because he was embarrassed and she was virginal nothing was ever said
LogansRogue: And the reason he was so happy was because he got away with passing it off for sex.
Kawcrow: I am going to block that previous exchange from my mind, please thank you.
Spike: *snicker*
LogansRogue: Fine. Fine.
Kawcrow: Ah'm uh a goo' gurl, Ah yam...
LogansRogue: Sure you are.
LogansRogue: The Host - coolest fruitcake to hit our screens since Widow Twanky or lame excuse to take advantage the gay community?
Kawcrow: We're going with option A, dahling!
Kawcrow: The entire "Angel" series was created specifically for The Host to give Angel fashion advice.
Kawcrow: and, y'know, reveal his Painfully Complex Destiny--but mostly the fashion advice
LogansRogue: Do you think he has a problem getting it up?
Kawcrow: I'm sensing a pattern in this interview.
LogansRogue: Well, I am one that faces the hard issues baby!
Ares: Or soft, as it were.
LogansRogue: I didn't ask you.
Ares: Sorry.
LogansRogue: Be quiet!
Kawcrow: ...indeed.
LogansRogue: Just thinking up the next question...
LogansRogue: This is hard you know...
Kawcrow: Yes
Kawcrow: the blocking-out of some of the questions is difficult as well...
LogansRogue: There are some things we must know in this life, deary.
LogansRogue: And after knowing me, you shall be well prepared!
LogansRogue: Wow... I'm thinking... if Spike shoots a load - it's probably cold huh?
LogansRogue: Like mayonaisse!
LogansRogue: EEEEEEW!
Kawcrow: I am NOT ANSWERING THAT
LogansRogue: Sorry, I'll shut up now, I'm really sorry!!!
LogansRogue: You know I haven't been to bed yet, right?
Spike: Hey, there's fanfic she could--
Kawcrow: WE are NOT ANSWERING THAT!
LogansRogue:
Spike: *gives her a fanged grin and lights a cigarette*
LogansRogue: The Protection of Bovines Society headed by Daisy T. Thoroughbred-DevonShire was recently quoted saying "Angel is quite likely the most horrific program on television in regard to their awareness of the Bovine Cause. Nearly every outfit their cast members wear has some article of leather goods in amongst it. Moo!" What do you and Spike have to say about this?
Spike: I'd say Driven Miss Daisy is paht o' a vast gov'ment conspir'cy out to dec'mate the leather industry, luv.
Kawcrow: My paranoid X-Fileyness is wearing off on him.
LogansRogue:
LogansRogue: Have you been getting down and dirty with the Mulder-Man?
Spike & Kawy: *blink, blink*
LogansRogue: Can he get it up?
Kawcrow: YES!
Kawcrow: YES HE CAN!
Kawcrow: THEY ALL CAN, IN VAST QUANTITIES!
Kawcrow: ARE WE HAPPY NOW?
LogansRogue: Wow, we finally have a definite affirmative!
LogansRogue: Ohh.... Ares? I think we broke her...
Ares: Yeah, I'd say so.
LogansRogue: Whoops...
Kawcrow: *makes squeaking noise and bangs head against wall*
Kawcrow: Snake in the woodshed! Snake in the WOODSHED!
Spike: *waves hand in front of her face* Hellooooo?
LogansRogue: And people, the most scary thing is - she asked for this!!
Spike: Masochist. She's got it to a tee.
Kawcrow: *pauses in the banging* You're one to talk. Snake in the WOODSHED!
LogansRogue: Well, that's all we have time for folks!! Remember, if your vamp can get it up, it's only going to be a cold mess!
Spike: Hey, we are getting paid for this, right?
LogansRogue: No. I'm humiliating you for nothing.
Spike: Damn. *pauses, considering* All right then.
