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The things I call my cat.
Oct. 22nd, 2010 07:33 amI love my cat. I do. Rogue is a bundle of adorableness. But I like calling her horrible names. She does things like puke and knock nice things off shelves and escape outside when she shouldn't. So she gets called some mighty interesting things.
If she does something dopey, I call her dipshit, numpty, doofus, butthead. I was sorely tempted to get her an engraved tag from the show with "Butthead" on it, just to see the face of the person doing the engraving, but I thought it was a stupid way to waste money.
If she really does something sneaky, sometimes bad, misogynistic things slip out of my mouth. Like cow, bitch or whore. The latter is more of a reference to something my Grandpa called his cat once. His cat did something very naughty, and in his thick Scottish brogue, he shouted, "Ye LITTLE YELLOW WHORE!" It's funny cause Scots say "whoor". I suppose it's not a word I use on people, ever. Sometimes, in a moment of sheer panic (cause I worry when she escapes from the house), it's hard to reverse 25 years of ingrained behaviour. I do all right, though. I think, on some level, it's also because it's impossible for a cat to be a whore. Or a bitch. She can be, however, a devious mastermind of epic proportions. Maybe I can start calling her "VILLIANOUS FELINE!" or something. The other thing is that I kind of mean it affectionately as well. Oh well, it's probably something I should get out of the habit of.
And now she's swallowing spit on my decolletage. Which always leaves me nervous, cause sometimes she does that before vomiting. She better not puke on me!!
Anyway, are there any horrible things you call your cat out of affection?
While I'm posting - Happy Birthday, Lennon McCartney. That's my cat. Lenny. Happy Birthday, buddy!! 15! WOOHOO!
If she does something dopey, I call her dipshit, numpty, doofus, butthead. I was sorely tempted to get her an engraved tag from the show with "Butthead" on it, just to see the face of the person doing the engraving, but I thought it was a stupid way to waste money.
If she really does something sneaky, sometimes bad, misogynistic things slip out of my mouth. Like cow, bitch or whore. The latter is more of a reference to something my Grandpa called his cat once. His cat did something very naughty, and in his thick Scottish brogue, he shouted, "Ye LITTLE YELLOW WHORE!" It's funny cause Scots say "whoor". I suppose it's not a word I use on people, ever. Sometimes, in a moment of sheer panic (cause I worry when she escapes from the house), it's hard to reverse 25 years of ingrained behaviour. I do all right, though. I think, on some level, it's also because it's impossible for a cat to be a whore. Or a bitch. She can be, however, a devious mastermind of epic proportions. Maybe I can start calling her "VILLIANOUS FELINE!" or something. The other thing is that I kind of mean it affectionately as well. Oh well, it's probably something I should get out of the habit of.
And now she's swallowing spit on my decolletage. Which always leaves me nervous, cause sometimes she does that before vomiting. She better not puke on me!!
Anyway, are there any horrible things you call your cat out of affection?
While I'm posting - Happy Birthday, Lennon McCartney. That's my cat. Lenny. Happy Birthday, buddy!! 15! WOOHOO!
