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I Know My Body
Jul. 24th, 2010 03:33 pmI often talk to different health professionals, and I sometimes come to the understanding that they think I'm a bit of a hypochondriac when it comes to things I feel while living with the conditions I do. I know a good doctor when they take notes when I tell them what I'm feeling, rather than nodding and saying, "Well, that's just *fill in the blank*".
Sometimes I'm reminded that maybe, perhaps, I'm not making shit up, that I'm not making mountains out of molehills, and actually, I can read the symptoms of my body fairly well. Case in point:
Today, when I got up, I was feeling fairly good. I'm on day three of my period, which means it's another day of heavy bleeding. What usually happens is that my body doesn't start up until I've been awake a while. I was all bouncy and determined to paint something.
Slowly and surely my energy ebbed, until about forty-five minutes ago, where I just lay down on the couch. I couldn't sleep because I didn't WANT to sleep - it was wakeytimes, but I was very, very tired and drained. I felt suddenly right out of energy. I had one of my existential panic moments that sometimes happens with sudden onset of a symptom of some kind [What am I feeling? Am I lazy? Is this my existence? Will it always be like this? Oh God, I hate being in this moment, please may it end...]. I lay there for a while, then decided to talk to my Mum about it.
"Have a warm milky Milo," she said. Good idea. I started to make one, but had the urge to pee.
Went to the toilet, and ah - I have just started bleeding quite heavily. Bright red blood. I would have been bleeding a while for it to show when it did, so it timed *exactly* with my sudden lack of energy.
I've gotten told, again and again, that I can't *possibly* feel faint or crappy after having blood tests, but it's weird - my body knows when it's bleeding. I get strangely blah, faint, lethargic, pale and my mood flatlines. I know, my body knows. And I was fucking right.
Sometimes I'm reminded that maybe, perhaps, I'm not making shit up, that I'm not making mountains out of molehills, and actually, I can read the symptoms of my body fairly well. Case in point:
Today, when I got up, I was feeling fairly good. I'm on day three of my period, which means it's another day of heavy bleeding. What usually happens is that my body doesn't start up until I've been awake a while. I was all bouncy and determined to paint something.
Slowly and surely my energy ebbed, until about forty-five minutes ago, where I just lay down on the couch. I couldn't sleep because I didn't WANT to sleep - it was wakeytimes, but I was very, very tired and drained. I felt suddenly right out of energy. I had one of my existential panic moments that sometimes happens with sudden onset of a symptom of some kind [What am I feeling? Am I lazy? Is this my existence? Will it always be like this? Oh God, I hate being in this moment, please may it end...]. I lay there for a while, then decided to talk to my Mum about it.
"Have a warm milky Milo," she said. Good idea. I started to make one, but had the urge to pee.
Went to the toilet, and ah - I have just started bleeding quite heavily. Bright red blood. I would have been bleeding a while for it to show when it did, so it timed *exactly* with my sudden lack of energy.
I've gotten told, again and again, that I can't *possibly* feel faint or crappy after having blood tests, but it's weird - my body knows when it's bleeding. I get strangely blah, faint, lethargic, pale and my mood flatlines. I know, my body knows. And I was fucking right.
