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Rapists Repeat Crimes.
Nov. 14th, 2009 01:04 amMost rapes are not a man making a big mistake. I know that wasn't the case with me.
It was a man that had done it before. Many do it again.
Amanda "Awesome" Hess covers this at The Washington City Paper.
Read it. Now. Especially if you're a guy.
ETA: And I have to share this quote:
The men in your lives will tell you what they do. As long as the R word doesn’t get attached, rapists do self-report. The guy who says he sees a woman too drunk to know where she is as an opportunity is not joking. He’s telling you how he sees it. The guy who says, “bros before hos”, is asking you to make a pact.
The Pact. The social structure that allows the predators to hide in plain sight, to sit at the bar at the same table with everyone, take a target home, rape her, and stay in the same social circle because she can’t or won’t tell anyone, or because nobody does anything if she does. The pact to make excuses, to look for mitigation, to patch things over—to believe that what happens to our friends—what our friends do to our friends—is not (using Whoopi Goldberg’s pathetic apologetics) “rape-rape.”
. . . The rapists can’t be your friends, and if you are loyal to them even when faced with the evidence of what they do, you are complicit.
This is why it cuts me deep inside when I see people who I love, who mean the world to me, extending friendship or understanding to the man that raped me. I don't care if he feels bad about it. I don't care at all. All I know is that somehow, someone I love thinks it's okay.
And that breaks my heart and hurts like nothing else you could ever know.
It was a man that had done it before. Many do it again.
Amanda "Awesome" Hess covers this at The Washington City Paper.
Read it. Now. Especially if you're a guy.
ETA: And I have to share this quote:
The men in your lives will tell you what they do. As long as the R word doesn’t get attached, rapists do self-report. The guy who says he sees a woman too drunk to know where she is as an opportunity is not joking. He’s telling you how he sees it. The guy who says, “bros before hos”, is asking you to make a pact.
The Pact. The social structure that allows the predators to hide in plain sight, to sit at the bar at the same table with everyone, take a target home, rape her, and stay in the same social circle because she can’t or won’t tell anyone, or because nobody does anything if she does. The pact to make excuses, to look for mitigation, to patch things over—to believe that what happens to our friends—what our friends do to our friends—is not (using Whoopi Goldberg’s pathetic apologetics) “rape-rape.”
. . . The rapists can’t be your friends, and if you are loyal to them even when faced with the evidence of what they do, you are complicit.
This is why it cuts me deep inside when I see people who I love, who mean the world to me, extending friendship or understanding to the man that raped me. I don't care if he feels bad about it. I don't care at all. All I know is that somehow, someone I love thinks it's okay.
And that breaks my heart and hurts like nothing else you could ever know.
