A fine note to end the day.

Q. What is better than listening to Richard E. Grant (The E stands for EXTREMELY SEXY don'tcha know) talk in his beautifully well spoken British accent?

A. Listening to him speak FRENCH. *thud*

The Scottish Christmas Fairy

I got this in the email form my Aunty Nan (we're both named after the same great Aunt Nan) and I thought it was an adorable poem. Scottish humour all over. :) Well, old-fashioned Scottish humour anywhoo.

SCOTTISH CHRISTMAS FAIRY   I am a little fairy On tap o' the Christmas Tree It's no' a job I fancy Well how would you like tae be me A tarted up wi' tinsel It's enough to mak ye boak An a couple o' jaggy branches Rammed up the back o' your frock   An' these wee lights a'roon me I canny get my sleep An' there's the yearly visit Fae Santa - Big fat creep! On Christmas Day I'm stuck up here While you're a' wirin' in An' naebody says 'Hey you up there Could you go a slug o' gin? It's nae joke bein' a fairy The joab's beyond belief You've got to go roon' the wean's beds An' lift their rotten teeth But o' a' the joabs a fairy gets An' I've mentioned only some The very worst is sitting up a tree Wi' pine needles up yir bum When a' the fairies meet again By the light of' the silvery moon Ye can tell the Christmas fairies They're the wans that canna sit doon The Christmas tree's a bonny sight As the firelight softly flickers But think o' me I'm stuck up here Wi' needles in my knickers

2008

I would like to name 2008 YEAR OF THE CLUSTERFUCK.

Let's see, apparently, from one end of the stick, I was rejected for disability because I wasn't definitely diagnosed.

No, those pages and pages of photos of my GROWTH-FILLED INSIDES were printed out for fun. I went into surgery twice in one year, and then again a couple of years later put under general anaesthetic (dangerous) once to have a IUD put in, and am currently suffering the ill effects of that IUD, JUST SO I CAN SIT AROUND ON MY ASS AND GET PAID NOTHING BY THE GOVERNMENT.

REALLY.

CAUSE ANYONE WOULD CHOOSE TO LIVE THE SHITTY LIFE I'M CURRENTLY LEADING.

On the other end of the stick, after sitting around in a Job Capacity Assessment interview for over an hour DETAILING EXACTLY HOW SICK I AM AND HOW MUCH IT FUCKS MY LIFE UP, which is a horribly depressing thing to focus on, by the way, they go and recommend that I GO STRAIGHT INTO LOOKING FOR EMPLOYMENT.

YOU KNOW. EVEN THOUGH I WAS WITH A PEER SUPPORT PROGRAMME AIMED TO HELP PEOPLE LIKE ME. CAUSE ALL I REALLY NEED TO DO IS GET UP OFF MY ASS AND GET A JOB LIKE A NORMAL, DECENT HUMAN BEING, FUCKING HIPPY! THAT'LL STOP THE PAIN!

I just want to have good days. I just want a little fucking help. I want the time and the space to heal, to get better, to do what I need to do so I can get a job and NEVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKS AGAIN.

I HATE THE GOVERNMENT. I HATE THEM. They couldn't find their ginormous weeping goatse of an asshole with two hands and a fucking torch, I swear. I am SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS SHIT.

Keeping positive.

This song always makes me happy.

The best thing is the gratuitous Sportacus Crotch Shot at the beginning!