Dec. 15th, 2008

logansrogue: (RogueLove)
Okay dudes.

I just wrote this in kowren's journal:

Let me make something clear. I had no idea it was *you*, Karen, until yesterday when Tina had told me that you are 'kowren'. If you'd had said who you were in the first post, this would have been entirely different because I would expect you to be protective of your husband.

I'm very sorry that people have blown up at you in what has to be a difficult time. I've actually been worried about you all year. You were one of the first people I was concerned about, and the main reason why I didn't want to come out with this information. But I felt like I had to, so other women knew to be wary.

I know he's not a monster. But he has deep problems that need to be sorted out. It's more than just me, and I can't say that enough. Don't let this be about 'one moment' when he was weak. Weakness is not an aspect of assault. It was an attack, pure and simple.

I want him to be there for you and the baby. It's been foremost on my mind. I value family above all and please understand, the survival of your family has weighed heavily on my mind. So make sure he gets the help he needs, and make sure he lays it all on the table and is honest with himself for once. Again - more than me. It's a pattern of behaviour that needs to be dealt with.

I can't talk about this anymore. I can't live with waking up in dread as to what I'll get in my inbox. Please, please understand that I DO care about you and the baby and what happens to you. I'm sorry if that doesn't extend to your husband but right now, I need to be mad and I need to mentally scorn him. I'm sorry I lost my shit in these journals (mine and his) where anyone can see. That was really uncool of me and I heartily apologise.

Sorry has been said on his part. I've accepted. Let's just close this book and start healing.


So lets not leave any snarky comments either in my journal or his on my behalf. I'm pretty sure they've both suffered enough, and to be honest, I never wanted his wife to suffer. She's going through enough right now without me losing my shit at her, plus a bunch of people she doesn't even know. She's as much a victim as I am, as now all this horrible stuff has been brought into her marriage, and I mourn the loss of happiness that might bring to her. I'm sad that her Christmas has been marred this way. I'm as sad for her as I am for me.

I mean it, though. Let's just let this rest and start on the path to healing. It's Christmas, a time of forgiveness, of love, and of understanding and compassion.

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