
Hey everyone.
He had an ultrasound today and the results that came back were very bad news indeed. He has a torn diaphragm and his guts are herniating - his intestines are going up into his chest cavity. One of his kidneys doesn't have a good blood supply and in time part of it will die and begin to necrotise. There is a lot wrong with his guts and they don't think he has the strength to survive the huge surgery that would be needed to correct everything. Even then, he might be in pain and not have a full quality of life.
So the vet recommended to Rolf that Zapp be euthanaised. It was so hard spending time with him. He's got so much fight in him, he kept lifting his head and meowing loudly, as if asking why he had to stay there and why he couldn't come home with us.
I've not cried over this. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have so much sadness inside of me, so much I can barely cope. This sort of resolute stoicism keeps taking me over, though. I'll probably bawl like a baby when we bury him tomorrow.
Why Zapp? Why such a darling? You've seen the photos - a fluffy bear, a little stripey lion. He was so happy with Rogue, they were such an adorable pair. He's only eight months old. Why so young? Why now? It's just not right or fair. He's still a baby. He's not even properly grown up yet.
I don't understand, I probably never will. This wasn't supposed to happen. :( Okay, I'm going to stop whining and try to distract myself somehow. The worst thing is that this is going to cost Rolf something like 3000 dollars, and he doesn't even get a cat out of it. AND he's got an adult disabled son to care for. Zapp was Johnny's companion cat :(
Ugh, life sucks.