I really miss her.

Tomorrow it'll be a week since she went missing. Today is a week since I last saw her. A week ago today, I was cradling her in a towel because she was soggy from the rain. Someone let her out without me saying goodbye to her. I never got to properly say goodbye to my baby girl.

I'm slowly coming to terms with it. The weather is horrid today - I hate to think of her out in that. She hates bad weather. :( I keep praying that someone has taken her in and is keeping her warm and safe. The thought of her huddling in some ditch somewhere, hungry and cold, it just breaks my heart.

I keep crying. I just let myself cry, but I seem to be crying less and less. Mainly because there's only so much you can cry before you get exhausted.

I did the following:

- put signs up around the neighbourhood, but they're probably washed away by now
- door knocked the neighbours
- Called all the vets
- Called the local cat shelter
- looked all over the neighbourhood for her

I feel like I haven't done enough. I feel like I let her down. The guilt still gets to me. It makes it hard for me to sleep. (I'm still having problems getting to sleep.)

Here are some photos of Xena. Just 'cause.

( My beautiful baby girl... )

She is/was a really gorgeous, loving, special little cat. Clever as a tack, with a big personality and a big heart.