Thank Fucking God...

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/6038100.html

Though you probably already knew.

Punching me in the guts would be less painful.

I'd been so happy with myself. I've been studying heavily the mermaid lore of different cultures all over the world. I'd come up with the names of about twenty different mermaid peoples. I was slowly and surely going through each merfolk and attributing their own range of unique features. Their own tail types, their own biological make-up, their own cultures and habitiats and diets. I'd gotten about halfway through the list. I'd collected some interesting folk tales, too.

Not to mention making some excellent headway on different fics and comic scripts.

Today, the laptop will NOT start. It won't. I've done what I could. All it does is flash an orange light at me.

I am *this* close to crying, I seriously am. I'm sore, I can't stop cramping, my period is late, my heart was broken today cause Scotty went to school and I REALLY WANT TO GO TOO. I abso-fucking-lutely HATE my life, I wish my room was fucking clean, I feel absolutely USEless...

...and now I've potentially lost all this work I've done. And I don't have the money to get a second-hand laptop should this one end up not working anymore. I mean... God. I feel totally guilty, like this is somehow all my fault. I feel like I've ruined Kate's laptop. I'm just - GUH. *hangs head* Fuck. Gotta keep it together.

If anyone wants me, I'll be kicking puppies.

Anyone know the name of that dog?

That super cute fucking dog? It was small, had fluffy ginger-light-brown fur, dark little eyes. It was the cutest fucking thing you'd ever seen and it was quite reknowned cause the owners had no freakin' idea what breed it was cause it was just a mutt.

I can't remember his freakin' name or find him on the net. It's driving me nuts. I just want to LOOK at him.

Hah! It's evil! Now I CAN kick it!

http://www.mrwinkle.com/diary11-2004-2.htm

Yes! I'll kick it! Today's the day to kick Mr. Winkle!!!

http://www.mrwinkle.com/diary12-2004-2.htm

... Oh... damn it.*melts*

http://www.mrwinkle.com/diary13-2004-2.htm

*sigh* I guess I can kick pillows or sheep or something.

Okay, God. Kick me again, I like it when you're rough.

So, Dave came over on his way home from work. He turned the computer on and off, had a listen to it, and looked up stuff on the net. It's of his opinion that it's totally buggered and that there's probably nothing to be done about it - it's just old.

Fuck. All my stuff is on the hard drive. I never backed the shit up, cause I'm a fucking idiot. I just sat down ont he floor and bawled my eyes out because of the work that's on there. Dunno how the fuck I'm supposed to get it off.

And now I have absolutely NOTHING to do for the next few days. And when I'm recovering, I'll have nothing to do. Cause sitting upright is apparently painful after surgery. I probably couldn't rest the fucking thing on my lap anyway.

Point being - big stop in my writing. My writing was the only thing making me feel productive and now it's gone. I'm so fucking depressed.

Drugs 'r' good, mmmkay?

Especially when they chill me the fuck out and take all my pain away. *floats away on a cloud*

PS - how cool are my new Eddie Izzard icons? mysticmirth is my heroooo!