![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Jan. 5th, 2006
Terrible visit to gynae.
Jan. 5th, 2006 05:08 pmWell. I finally made that visit to the gynaecologist at King Edward. I was looking so forward to it cause I thought, "Finally, I'll be talking to a real specialist!"
I drove home in tears. I'm so tired and exhausted that I'm just going to paste the letter I wrote the AustEndo mailing list:
Hey all.
I had written out a huge email about my visit and the computer crashed. I just about cried cause it took me so long to type up and I was exhausted from my visit. So I'll put it in point form.
- I saw some guy with very little hair, a UK accent and blue eyes. I forget his name.
- He doesn't think I have endo. He's very certain it's something gastrological. This is the exact opposite thing that my gastroenterologist told me!!!
- He gave me an exam. He was so freaking rough! I actually cried. He felt my stomach and I winced when he dug into my sides. He dismissed that, and the sharp pain up my front. Now, I was already very sore from the speculum (it made me cry). I was very close to begging him to take it out. I told him a couple of times that it really hurt. He took his swab (it felt like forever) then he examined me with his fingers. He was so rough, it really, really hurt. He was pressing down from the top and from inside and it set my whole pelvis off. I felt like I had period cramps but they were way more defensive. I actually had tears in my eyes and let out a little sob.
- I don't think he thinks I need a laparoscopy. To him, it's a sort of "Just making sure" procedure.
- He suggested at one point that I see a Clinical Psychologist. I was so glad my mother was there at that point because I broke down when he said that. It was very insulting because I have never been so sorted out as I am these days.
I just felt so stupid after being htere. I felt like it was all in my head and that I'd never find answers. He kept saying, "Sometimes we just can't find causes for these things."
That depressed me more than words could say. Oh - my life is ruined and "Oh well, we just can't find the cause." I cried all the way home, just sobbing and weeping like a baby. I've been booked in for a laparoscopy and I'm terrified, but I'm booked in at least. I feel like an idiot for having it, since this guy is so damned sure I don't have endo. I asked why, "It just doesn't sound like it to me." He kept calling my reproductive system my 'gynae bits'. Even though the other gynaecologist thought there was a fair chance that I DID have it.
I'm so confused and upset and worked up and in PAIN after that terrible exam. Hell, I don't even feel like I should be *here*, you know?
I think the worst thing is the possibility that they'll never figure out what's wrong and I'm stuck like this! :(
-Nancy.
ETA: I just went to the toilet for a pee. I suspected he made me bleed when I was at the hospital, but just now there was dried blood. A fair good amount of it, too. The son of a bitch DID make me bleed! How dare he be so rough with my pussy! How'd he like it if I jerked his meat and two veg around like that?! Fuck!
I drove home in tears. I'm so tired and exhausted that I'm just going to paste the letter I wrote the AustEndo mailing list:
Hey all.
I had written out a huge email about my visit and the computer crashed. I just about cried cause it took me so long to type up and I was exhausted from my visit. So I'll put it in point form.
- I saw some guy with very little hair, a UK accent and blue eyes. I forget his name.
- He doesn't think I have endo. He's very certain it's something gastrological. This is the exact opposite thing that my gastroenterologist told me!!!
- He gave me an exam. He was so freaking rough! I actually cried. He felt my stomach and I winced when he dug into my sides. He dismissed that, and the sharp pain up my front. Now, I was already very sore from the speculum (it made me cry). I was very close to begging him to take it out. I told him a couple of times that it really hurt. He took his swab (it felt like forever) then he examined me with his fingers. He was so rough, it really, really hurt. He was pressing down from the top and from inside and it set my whole pelvis off. I felt like I had period cramps but they were way more defensive. I actually had tears in my eyes and let out a little sob.
- I don't think he thinks I need a laparoscopy. To him, it's a sort of "Just making sure" procedure.
- He suggested at one point that I see a Clinical Psychologist. I was so glad my mother was there at that point because I broke down when he said that. It was very insulting because I have never been so sorted out as I am these days.
I just felt so stupid after being htere. I felt like it was all in my head and that I'd never find answers. He kept saying, "Sometimes we just can't find causes for these things."
That depressed me more than words could say. Oh - my life is ruined and "Oh well, we just can't find the cause." I cried all the way home, just sobbing and weeping like a baby. I've been booked in for a laparoscopy and I'm terrified, but I'm booked in at least. I feel like an idiot for having it, since this guy is so damned sure I don't have endo. I asked why, "It just doesn't sound like it to me." He kept calling my reproductive system my 'gynae bits'. Even though the other gynaecologist thought there was a fair chance that I DID have it.
I'm so confused and upset and worked up and in PAIN after that terrible exam. Hell, I don't even feel like I should be *here*, you know?
I think the worst thing is the possibility that they'll never figure out what's wrong and I'm stuck like this! :(
-Nancy.
ETA: I just went to the toilet for a pee. I suspected he made me bleed when I was at the hospital, but just now there was dried blood. A fair good amount of it, too. The son of a bitch DID make me bleed! How dare he be so rough with my pussy! How'd he like it if I jerked his meat and two veg around like that?! Fuck!
