Weirdest. Dream. Ever.

Now bear with me folks.

It starts with a sunny day in Swanbourne near where I live. And the Brothers Chaps were apparently doing a live-action Homestar Runner toon, as he was walking down the street and all these scantily clad hoochie-mamas were calling out to him and asking him in their houses.

For some reason I had a lot of trouble keeping a hold of my clothes in this dream. Then the Comedy Inc. crew (the comedians from that show, people from America won't know what I'm talking about) were making fun of me incessantly and I cried. So I ran away with my sister Helen and I was barely wrapped up in rags and I said, "Helen! Anyone could see me like this!"

And who should we cross paths with, but Jesus, arisen again. Everyone was following him and they were frowning and shouting at me. And Jesus was like, "Aw man, you got no clothes?" So he invites me into his robes. *blush* Yes, I know. I'm not even going to begin to talk about what happened under the robe. No. *blush* *blush* I hope Jesus can't really see into my dreams, or I am so going to hell.

Anyway. So happens that Jesus is made of taffee. Toffee. Whatever. Molten sugar. And he had Gumby legs and he had to fix them. But while he was in the giant taffee machine, an evil skelington Jesus came out of the molten sugar and everyone who was covered in sugar was to be devoured by the evil sticky monster of sugary doom.

I ran. I ran into evil toffee webs and I knew that there was only one safe place - the sea! (Because it's salty... yeah I know).

So I'm in the ocean and evil Jesus comes up and laughs at me and says, "Hahahaha! You think the ocean will stop me?"

And he steps in it - quite happily. Then he melts good Jesus like a marshmallow in the ocean and I'm all freaking out.

Just when things were bad, suddenly Jesus is back again and he shows Evil!Jesus what for. I'm very thankful and I hug him and so forth.

Then, in seeming celebration, he and Mary Magdalene go water-skiing. And snog a lot. No, don't ask me what it means, I have no fucking idea. My dream actually had ending credits where Mary and Jesus are grinning into the camera, water-skiing, and smooching.

I woke up and I figured that I *have* to lay off the fucking mercyndol, man. Cause that's the wierdist shit ever. I never thought, in my whole life, that I'd dream giving Jesus a hand-job under his robe. He looked very pleased with it, but still - that's BAD. Very BAD. I'm going to HELL! *smacks self with planks in repentance*

HAhhahahaa....

HBP/Spiderman ending gag...

Major props to annearchy for passing that one along...

Triple SUCK.

I've been watching bits of XXX on tv. Honestly, I can't understand how some of you enjoy it. It's total crap.

And Vinnie in his fluffy jacket and dark glasses? So of the gay. You know he's taking it up the arse. *nods*

Now that I've done my bit of flame-attracting posting for the year (I don't do it very often), I'm going to take some pills for my headache, pee, and read some more Robert the Bruce.