Wandering thoughts

Well. I took a whole bunch of pictures for my Frodo journal, so keep an eye on that people. It'll be updated real soon.

It's been one of those funny days, really. I have had a total two weeks of complete time wasteage. Most of it was spent suffering from this awful cold, and watching Days of Our Lives, and then today I came to the point where Marlena was snogging John *ugh*, everyone knew Laura wasn't crazy, Austin and Kerry looked like they were going to sort things out, Bo still doesn't love Billy even though she saved his sorry (and probably very hairy) ass, and Sammie realised that Will was Lucas' kid, and I just wasn't interested anymore. It's just no fun without the secret room and Susan pulling stupid faces.

My voice shall be coming back soon, and I look forward to that. I exercise it gently a little each day, just to test it. I can't wait before my voice is back to normal. It's the last day of winter, and it'll be spring soon. I look forward to the warm weather again. I'd like to get some nice tasteful cotton flowery dresses. I want to dress like a hobbit this summer. Or an elf. More a hobbit dressed as an elf.

I have my periods tonight. This means I'll be sleeping in the lounge-room, watching TV up late and using the puter a lot. I might update my lothlorien site. I have a lot planned for that scene. I can't wait.

Little Red Corvette is a great song.

The people on #theonering.net are great. They changed their nicks by putting 'ninja' at the end of their names. It was all Maegweninja, and Nazgul_Ninja, and Bazyninja. And then I changed my name back to Periwinkle. And suddenly 'winkle' was the cool thing to have at the end of someone's name. So now they're all Bazywinkle and stuff. So cute :)

I want to thank Findle for sending me "Human on the Inside" by the Pretenders. What a great song :)

There's a great upheaval in the land of Shoe. It seems Douglas Adams did that whole 'Don't say the word Shoe' routine in one of his scripts before, and Scotty seems to be rather bemused, if not a little despondent, at this bit of information. I could tell you what though, no one was more shocked than me when that joke came out of the HHGttG radio play. I was totally flabbergasted.

For some reason the net is really quiet today. Darn it. I might have made new friends. Too soon to say, but I hope so, these girls seem really cool.

I have much more faith in my Lord of the Rings story. Part of that came from reading some of the dreck out there, other came from reading fic of people I have been talking to on Godawful and seeing that we're in the same brain-space. Kinda. I think I'm a little closer to Mary-Sueishness, but at least Periwinkle's interesting.

Well I should get on with things. Hopefully my throat will be better very soon and I can start recording my songs again. I look forward to that.

Nancy.

Wandering thoughts

Well. I took a whole bunch of pictures for my Frodo journal, so keep an eye on that people. It'll be updated real soon.

It's been one of those funny days, really. I have had a total two weeks of complete time wasteage. Most of it was spent suffering from this awful cold, and watching Days of Our Lives, and then today I came to the point where Marlena was snogging John *ugh*, everyone knew Laura wasn't crazy, Austin and Kerry looked like they were going to sort things out, Bo still doesn't love Billy even though she saved his sorry (and probably very hairy) ass, and Sammie realised that Will was Lucas' kid, and I just wasn't interested anymore. It's just no fun without the secret room and Susan pulling stupid faces.

My voice shall be coming back soon, and I look forward to that. I exercise it gently a little each day, just to test it. I can't wait before my voice is back to normal. It's the last day of winter, and it'll be spring soon. I look forward to the warm weather again. I'd like to get some nice tasteful cotton flowery dresses. I want to dress like a hobbit this summer. Or an elf. More a hobbit dressed as an elf.

I have my periods tonight. This means I'll be sleeping in the lounge-room, watching TV up late and using the puter a lot. I might update my lothlorien site. I have a lot planned for that scene. I can't wait.

Little Red Corvette is a great song.

The people on #theonering.net are great. They changed their nicks by putting 'ninja' at the end of their names. It was all Maegweninja, and Nazgul_Ninja, and Bazyninja. And then I changed my name back to Periwinkle. And suddenly 'winkle' was the cool thing to have at the end of someone's name. So now they're all Bazywinkle and stuff. So cute :)

I want to thank Findle for sending me "Human on the Inside" by the Pretenders. What a great song :)

There's a great upheaval in the land of Shoe. It seems Douglas Adams did that whole 'Don't say the word Shoe' routine in one of his scripts before, and Scotty seems to be rather bemused, if not a little despondent, at this bit of information. I could tell you what though, no one was more shocked than me when that joke came out of the HHGttG radio play. I was totally flabbergasted.

For some reason the net is really quiet today. Darn it. I might have made new friends. Too soon to say, but I hope so, these girls seem really cool.

I have much more faith in my Lord of the Rings story. Part of that came from reading some of the dreck out there, other came from reading fic of people I have been talking to on Godawful and seeing that we're in the same brain-space. Kinda. I think I'm a little closer to Mary-Sueishness, but at least Periwinkle's interesting.

Well I should get on with things. Hopefully my throat will be better very soon and I can start recording my songs again. I look forward to that.

Nancy.

Me and my big mouth...

Geez. I just *had* to bitch, didn't I? Particularly on here. Well, okay, I guess I was testing to see if anyone was still skulking around, reading about WRBeta's personal lives. Obviously someone must be, because they found their way to Godawful and posted a message or three.

To be honest, on some level I feel bad. I feel bad cause I know people's feelings are hurt. I feel bad because I know it's going to reflect badly on my friends, who've done absolutely nothing. I just hope another bluster doesn't blow up over this, cause it's not worth it. It's just me, a bitter old bitch, ranting into the night to help her get through her difficult and sometimes bothersome life. DDFH'ers, write your fucking fic, I don't care.

I just like bitching about it. I don't know, it's fun. And that's mean. Mean spirited, cruel and petty. I think I'm the only one that's like this, amongst the WRBeta's. The rest of them tell me to shut up and behave myself all the time.

I guess I've gotten to the point where I'm tired of crap. And I'm not afraid to say so -in the case where the author should *know* better. Just - finding that situation is tricky. So one must be tactful.

I don't know why they're so upset. It's not like I'm only bitching about them, I'm bitching about *everybody*! Slashers, LotR movie morons, slashers, bad crossovers, slashers, anime fic in general, slashers... oh and did I mention slash? There are few authors in this world that can write slash fic good. Hell, there's few writers in this world that can write ANYTHING good, and I'm glad to know a few of them. It's just - bad slash seems to annoy me a LOT. So does bad het pairings, but just, badly written slash just gets me steamed. Particularly if it's about Frodo and Sam. If it's two people you just KNOW are good together, then it's okay (eg. Ares and Joxer, Clark and Lex, Bobby and John). To me, Frodo and Sam are OFF limits, dude. And so are the rest of the Fellowship.

I think I'm like those barriers at the parking lots. If you approach me one way, I'm smooth and easy and nice to drive along. If you try to go the wrong way, you just get spikes in your tires.

Anyway, I'm just waiting for the shit to hit the fan. It always does. I'll take the blame right now before it does, just cause I know it's coming and I don't want my friends taking the flack for my own bitchy behaviour.

I am a cruel, evil woman. Moohahaha. See how much I give a shit.

Nancy.

Me and my big mouth...

Geez. I just *had* to bitch, didn't I? Particularly on here. Well, okay, I guess I was testing to see if anyone was still skulking around, reading about WRBeta's personal lives. Obviously someone must be, because they found their way to Godawful and posted a message or three.

To be honest, on some level I feel bad. I feel bad cause I know people's feelings are hurt. I feel bad because I know it's going to reflect badly on my friends, who've done absolutely nothing. I just hope another bluster doesn't blow up over this, cause it's not worth it. It's just me, a bitter old bitch, ranting into the night to help her get through her difficult and sometimes bothersome life. DDFH'ers, write your fucking fic, I don't care.

I just like bitching about it. I don't know, it's fun. And that's mean. Mean spirited, cruel and petty. I think I'm the only one that's like this, amongst the WRBeta's. The rest of them tell me to shut up and behave myself all the time.

I guess I've gotten to the point where I'm tired of crap. And I'm not afraid to say so -in the case where the author should *know* better. Just - finding that situation is tricky. So one must be tactful.

I don't know why they're so upset. It's not like I'm only bitching about them, I'm bitching about *everybody*! Slashers, LotR movie morons, slashers, bad crossovers, slashers, anime fic in general, slashers... oh and did I mention slash? There are few authors in this world that can write slash fic good. Hell, there's few writers in this world that can write ANYTHING good, and I'm glad to know a few of them. It's just - bad slash seems to annoy me a LOT. So does bad het pairings, but just, badly written slash just gets me steamed. Particularly if it's about Frodo and Sam. If it's two people you just KNOW are good together, then it's okay (eg. Ares and Joxer, Clark and Lex, Bobby and John). To me, Frodo and Sam are OFF limits, dude. And so are the rest of the Fellowship.

I think I'm like those barriers at the parking lots. If you approach me one way, I'm smooth and easy and nice to drive along. If you try to go the wrong way, you just get spikes in your tires.

Anyway, I'm just waiting for the shit to hit the fan. It always does. I'll take the blame right now before it does, just cause I know it's coming and I don't want my friends taking the flack for my own bitchy behaviour.

I am a cruel, evil woman. Moohahaha. See how much I give a shit.

Nancy.

Fecal Matter. Air Cooling device. SPLAT.

I've just been kicked off of wolverineandrogue.com. Interesting, cause they're taking down all my work there too. Fair enough, I asked for it I suppose. I mean, I was upset for a minute, and then I thought, "Well, I really need to concentrate on my music career anyway, so it's one less fandom I have to churn stuff out for, and if I *do* write something, yay, if not - ah well. I have my own dot.com, I have my own friends... ah fuck it. Who cares?"

I was told that I wasn't allowed to write my thoughts on this in my livejournal. I was given explicit orders, really. And apparently, I've fucked all my WR friends over, because I expressed an opinion.

What I don't understand is why people immersed in fandoms have no inkling of individuality. I see this crap all the time. I was pulled into it for years. When I was a GJRSer, we would fight with the subtexters. Over what?

TV. Television. What's the fucking point? I mean, most of the time I argued that the subtexters needed to get off their high-horses and just let us GJRSers be, but sometimes it got real nasty. And it's not worth it. The same old shit all over again. Two groups of people with ideas in their heads about each other and ill will. Sure, I dredged this shitfest up with my opinion. I feel like I should regret that, but for some reason, I just don't.

For the first time in years, I feel really free in my own opinion.

What I said on Godawful was not a positive review. It was cruel in some ways. But it wasn't about a person. It was about a fanfiction. I have a right to review fan-fic. Sure, people are upset at what I did, and I do feel bad about that. And what goes around comes around - I got ejected from a fandom group. But I have this strange sense of security that I know that I was at least being honest, and that this frustration and anger that had been bubbling inside of me for years is now spoken of. Does this make me some heinous bitch, or an immature little cunt? Probably - say whatever you like, it's your prerogative.

I'll move on no doubt, get sick of worrying about stuff I can't change and concentrate on my own pursuits again. Right now I'm kinda useless without a voice, so I don't really know what to do with myself. Soon I'll be too busy to think about anything but what job I'll apply for tomorrow, and internet crap will fade into the background. After all, that's kinda where it belongs.

People can wander by and read whatever they want from here, and I know I can keep in touch with my friends through here, and I can know how they are going. That's what it's for, after all. Some people use it to look at what people they don't like are up to. I really - don't understand that. For those that even can be bothered loading my livejournal up, for going through the trouble of finding the link and so forth, and then wading through endless paragraphs about how cute my new niece is, how much I hate my life sometimes, how much I hate Centrelink and how much I love music, if you can get through all that for some demented purpose of your own, you're welcome to it. Really. I just have no idea why you would *want* to do that. It just screams of lameness to me. But it's your life to spend how you will.

The only thing that bothers me with this whole debacle is the karmic ramifications of it. Cause, I know if I act like this, some hellish reviews will likely come my way. I've survived them before. I've made friends of people that have ripped my stories apart (generally they were right). I guess I'll try to keep it impersonal. People probably wonder why the hell I even bother. Why do I do it to people? Complain about things I can't change, about fan-fic? Why not do something positive?

Well, that takes energy, and my energy is for me. My kvetching people to get better isn't going to make them better. They have to do that. My bitch isn't just with the level of fic out there, it's the fact that people just don't *care* what they're doing. It just illustrates an ill regard for culture in general. As an artist, that shits me. If you don't like that, well that's fine, just don't expect me to care.

Anyway, my throat is killing me. I need to make myself some tea and cut up some oranges or something. All the terrible snot that had been in my sinuses is finally draining, and going past my throat, and making it sore. But at least I'm on the rocky road to recovery. Sadly, I've lost a helluva lot of weight recently (and I don't have that much to lose) and my immunity is down. I need to take some propolis I think. It's good stuff.

Thanks Alibaba and Shaz for having good chats with me. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, and then I think, ah. Maybe it's the world that's going crazy. Sometimes it's hard to tell.

Nancy.
(Hoping not everyone hates her, but figures she's always been like this so if they don't know by now then they were going to find out in the end anyways. I'm an idiot, and I say stupid things. I am the fool.)

Fecal Matter. Air Cooling device. SPLAT.

I've just been kicked off of wolverineandrogue.com. Interesting, cause they're taking down all my work there too. Fair enough, I asked for it I suppose. I mean, I was upset for a minute, and then I thought, "Well, I really need to concentrate on my music career anyway, so it's one less fandom I have to churn stuff out for, and if I *do* write something, yay, if not - ah well. I have my own dot.com, I have my own friends... ah fuck it. Who cares?"

I was told that I wasn't allowed to write my thoughts on this in my livejournal. I was given explicit orders, really. And apparently, I've fucked all my WR friends over, because I expressed an opinion.

What I don't understand is why people immersed in fandoms have no inkling of individuality. I see this crap all the time. I was pulled into it for years. When I was a GJRSer, we would fight with the subtexters. Over what?

TV. Television. What's the fucking point? I mean, most of the time I argued that the subtexters needed to get off their high-horses and just let us GJRSers be, but sometimes it got real nasty. And it's not worth it. The same old shit all over again. Two groups of people with ideas in their heads about each other and ill will. Sure, I dredged this shitfest up with my opinion. I feel like I should regret that, but for some reason, I just don't.

For the first time in years, I feel really free in my own opinion.

What I said on Godawful was not a positive review. It was cruel in some ways. But it wasn't about a person. It was about a fanfiction. I have a right to review fan-fic. Sure, people are upset at what I did, and I do feel bad about that. And what goes around comes around - I got ejected from a fandom group. But I have this strange sense of security that I know that I was at least being honest, and that this frustration and anger that had been bubbling inside of me for years is now spoken of. Does this make me some heinous bitch, or an immature little cunt? Probably - say whatever you like, it's your prerogative.

I'll move on no doubt, get sick of worrying about stuff I can't change and concentrate on my own pursuits again. Right now I'm kinda useless without a voice, so I don't really know what to do with myself. Soon I'll be too busy to think about anything but what job I'll apply for tomorrow, and internet crap will fade into the background. After all, that's kinda where it belongs.

People can wander by and read whatever they want from here, and I know I can keep in touch with my friends through here, and I can know how they are going. That's what it's for, after all. Some people use it to look at what people they don't like are up to. I really - don't understand that. For those that even can be bothered loading my livejournal up, for going through the trouble of finding the link and so forth, and then wading through endless paragraphs about how cute my new niece is, how much I hate my life sometimes, how much I hate Centrelink and how much I love music, if you can get through all that for some demented purpose of your own, you're welcome to it. Really. I just have no idea why you would *want* to do that. It just screams of lameness to me. But it's your life to spend how you will.

The only thing that bothers me with this whole debacle is the karmic ramifications of it. Cause, I know if I act like this, some hellish reviews will likely come my way. I've survived them before. I've made friends of people that have ripped my stories apart (generally they were right). I guess I'll try to keep it impersonal. People probably wonder why the hell I even bother. Why do I do it to people? Complain about things I can't change, about fan-fic? Why not do something positive?

Well, that takes energy, and my energy is for me. My kvetching people to get better isn't going to make them better. They have to do that. My bitch isn't just with the level of fic out there, it's the fact that people just don't *care* what they're doing. It just illustrates an ill regard for culture in general. As an artist, that shits me. If you don't like that, well that's fine, just don't expect me to care.

Anyway, my throat is killing me. I need to make myself some tea and cut up some oranges or something. All the terrible snot that had been in my sinuses is finally draining, and going past my throat, and making it sore. But at least I'm on the rocky road to recovery. Sadly, I've lost a helluva lot of weight recently (and I don't have that much to lose) and my immunity is down. I need to take some propolis I think. It's good stuff.

Thanks Alibaba and Shaz for having good chats with me. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, and then I think, ah. Maybe it's the world that's going crazy. Sometimes it's hard to tell.

Nancy.
(Hoping not everyone hates her, but figures she's always been like this so if they don't know by now then they were going to find out in the end anyways. I'm an idiot, and I say stupid things. I am the fool.)