'A day at a time' is the hardest of all.

[logansrogue]

The cycle's of 'okay' and 'complete crap' are slowing down. Now I'm just in a sort of gloomy sadness most of the time. It's as if all the pain is trickling out slowly and I'm dealing with it bit by bit. I'm still trying to make sense of everything but it's so hard.

I feel like someone's died. It's so weird.

He said sorry. He said he'd seek help. I don't know what to say to him, other than goodbye.

When I think about it too hard I start yawning, start feel incredibly tired. I'm absolutely afraid to be alone. I've always had a problem being alone but now it's ridiculous.

I don't know what I'm going to be feeling during a day ahead. Everything is uncertainty. I'm frightened and I feel alone, even though logically I know I'm safe and that there are people here for me.

I feel a terrible sense of loss, though I haven't really lost anything.

And I'm scared of not getting the therapy that I need. I am just finishing off paying Dad the money that I owe him. Now I'm probably going to owe him money all over again thanks to psychologist fees. It's just so unfair.

I think I just need to have a good cry.

Comments

[leviathan0999.livejournal.com]

While needing to is undesirable, crying is good and I recommend you do all of it you need.

In the meantime remember that there's a planet full of people who like and admire you for your talents, and for your you.

[angriest.livejournal.com]

I have somehow missed every single post on this topic until now, and feel horrible and terrible. I also can't find your e-mail address to send you anything in private.

I hope you're OK. Please let me know if there's anything we can do.

[xedra.livejournal.com]

I wanna give you a big ol' hug.

*HUG*

[rabbit1080.livejournal.com]

I'm sad and angry that you're having such a crap time :-(

For the psych fees, you should be able to get a referral from your GP that will cover at least 6 sessions under Medicare (well, most of the fee anyway). I know a GP in Shenton Park who often arranges this (Dr Sue Rogers, Onslow Family Practice).

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

nacey (a) iinet.net.au

It's okay. I understand how busy life can be. :) *hugs*

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks. :)

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[sir-devans.livejournal.com]

Someone did die. You have lost something.
Your friend died, and the part of him you carried with you.
And you've lost a whole lot, just from this post I'll mention:
You're friend
You're sense of security
You're emotional stability
You're financial independance (hah!)
The good thing is you can get most of these back and you don't have to worry about the friend, 'cause he was never one anyway.

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

No one died and I didn't lost anything. He wasn't that close a friend to begin with anyway, so it was no great loss. It was just a bit of a shake-up. I'll find my feet again.

[zebeckras.livejournal.com]

Nancy, I'm... I'm not sure how I missed this up until now. I've been offline since the evening of the 21st but I think you started talking about it before then - though with the time zone differences that may be why, maybe I *just* missed it. I'm sorry I did, if I'd seen all of this before now I'd at least have been able to offer my voice to the support from friends that you, thankfully, have been getting in abundance. You're being incredibly strong, even if you may at times not feel like it. *hugs* Take care of yourself and you will get through this, and we'll all stay here and love you no matter what.

[sir-devans.livejournal.com]

Good to hear