Brace yourselves...
Aug. 10th, 2006 01:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
logansrogueThis is the fic equivalent of letting you see my baby photos. But in actual fact, I don't think I used to write TOO badly when I was a teen. I was about sixteen when I wrote this stuff, I think. It's still pretty crap but I think there are little sparkles of promise in there. It's melodramatic, the layout is all stuffed up and the punctuation and grammar is shit. I've learnt a lot since then, but I think some things never change. The melodrama and the way I use words, mostly! I'm not sure why I'm even showing people this.
I guess to show that anybody can write an okay story if they work hard to improve themselves. That it's not a natural talent of mine and that it's something that I work hard on, and that I've actually made some headway. And that I was the hugest, biggest Trek geek you would have ever met ten years ago!
The story is set in a series I began as a teen. It would be about Wesley going to the Academy, and the friends he'd make there, and the enemies and the trials and tribulations - you know. Coming of age fun. Basically what they're doing now with Captain Kirk in movie form. :) In this story, Eleanor runs into an old friend, Mara. (I know, a totally predictable name, SO Sueish, and her entrance is pretty Sueish, but I there's a lot more going on in the story than I knew how to capture properly, if that makes sense?). When Eleanor was a girl of 14, she was living on the Farragut, a ship her father was Captain of. They saved an Orion slave girl, who Elly tried to help care for and befriend (this is Mara of course). But Mara only knows dishonesty and kill or be killed because of her rough upbringing, so although she's close to Eleanor, she's also very dangerous and hurtful. Eleanor is shocked when, while she is in second year, Mara makes it into first. She can't figure out why someone like Mara would want to go into the academy. All her life she's been a prostitute, a liar, a thief and other unmentionable things. But it's the core of goodness in Mara that made Eleanor befriend her in the first place that felt that Starfleet was somewhere she could forget her past and do something good with her life for once.
Anyhoodles, this is from the beginning of the story. Way too much exposition and clumsy language, but hey - I WAS sixteen, and never very good in English.
~~*~~
She put down her synthale roughly,"Jamison, how many Klingons have you ever met? None! You lived on Earth, then Mars, then Earth, and you have only the pedantic ravings of your pompous ass of a father to go by! I actually met a few of them, a few of them are my very good friends and I've never heard anything of the sort."
Morrison watched Jaraan wipe the bar top next to him.
"What did he say?"he asked.
Jaraan shook his head,"Oh, he's just shooting his mouth off."
"I take it about Klingons..."
"Yeah,"he said,"He claims his Dad literally caught a Klingon with his pants down on Risa, taking a leak in a natural reserve and booked him for vandalising pristine rainforest."
"You're kidding..."Morrison shook his head,"I wouldn't admit to that..."
"When's Wesley coming back?"asked Neliica, daintily holding her Frendle Cocktail.
"Soon,"Eleanor replied,"He's been spending extra time in the Squad briefings cause they've moving onto more complex manoeuvres next week."
Jamison scowled,"I'm sure Klingons do have three balls, my Dad saw it!"
"They do."
He turned his head with much surprise, a young woman behind him smiled, her arms crossed confidently, her ice blue eyes shining with certainty against her wavy shoulder-length jet black hair and soft green skin. She was from Orion.
Eleanor swallowed, her face like ivory, mustering a scrap of her usual gusto to utter,"You'd know, Mara, I've heard the way you learn about different species...quite an exo-bioligist in your own way aren't you?"
Mara cocked an eyebrow indignantly,"Yes, you're a typical human aren't you? Stupid and assuming."
She pursed her lips bitterly,"I don't generally assume what I know as fact."
Jamison watched them, bewildered.
"And you know everything don't you?"Mara frowned, age beyond her apparent years in her eyes.
"Eleanor, would you mind telling me who this is?"Jamison cried.
What was she doing here? What the hell was she doing here?! Eleanor gazed at the green woman levelly, her green flecked blue eyes scowling. "This is Mara, first year, she's originally from Orion, we knew each other a long way back."
"This is true,"said Mara, a thin smile spreading on her doll-like round face which screamed of innocence,"And who is your charming companion?"
Jamison leered, his head visibly expanding.
"This is Mark Jamison, ,the Louse',"she said quietly,"too good for the likes of you."
"Elly,"he tisked,"What's up with you? She's one of us for crying out loud."
Eleanor threw daggers with her very glare, fear also ringing in her eyes,"She is ,one' of nobody except her own selfish desires. What are you doing in Starfleet anyway? What could you possibly gain by putting your life on the line in the pursuit of knowledge?"
She knew this woman too well. Or girl. She was just a girl, a silly lost girl who knew nothing of virtue or honour. Eleanor remembered when Mara had first arrived on the Farragut six years back, frightened and seeking refuge from the hells of Orion's black market and brothel pits. She had watched her cower on the transporter pad after they had saved her from the merchant ship she had stolen and inadvertently destroyed as she knew nothing of how to drive it. She sat curled up in the corner of the chamber like a gutter filthed stray cat, her pubescent green body scantily clad in shreds of brown cloth.
So helpless, so vulnerable. Had she only known what the years of torture and abuse had given rise to, such a strange and twisted individual.
"Wow, Elly, snap out of it!"Julie said.
Eleanor stood with a dark scowl, taking her drink. Just as she turned to leave she whacked into another body next to Mara. She glanced up, seeing a set of very familiar hazel eyes, a strange sense of de ja vu and comfort becoming her as she gazed into them.
"Snap out of what?"Wesley asked her, just arriving, stopping her by taking her arm.
"Nothing,"she said softly, looking to him with a warm assurance, and looked to Mara coldly, her lips beginning to tremble, "Just keep away from me and keep away from my friends Mara, it's a big place, I'm sure you can do that. I'll be seeing you guys." She strode away quietly, disappearing behind the huge centre planter in the lounge.
Wesley swallowed,"What was that all about?"
"The past,"said Mara quietly,"Which should be forgotten."
With that she walked calmly from the barlounge, with a sexual lilting bob of her hips that seemed to be trained into her.
Wesley glanced at the others,"I'm - I'm going to see if Elly's alright..."
She wasn't. She was huddled in the corner of a table for four booth, shuddering slightly as she sipped at her beer, her hands trembling. As she saw him coming she fluttered a shaken smile, her fingers flailing slightly as she struggled to fiddle with a sugar stick. He had never seen her so shaken in all the three years he had known her.
"What's wrong?"he asked her, sliding next to her on the long seat. She took an abrupt breath, shaking her head.
"I thought I'd never see her again."
A furrow settled in Wesley's brow, "Who is she?"he asked.
"Her name's Mara,"she replied, taking a small sugar stick from the bowl and taking the end of it in her lips absently. As if the sugar tasted foul, she pulled the sugar stick from her mouth and tossed it into the nearby planter despondently.
"How do you know her?"
Eleanor looked him dead in the eye with a look that could have reduced anyone else to tears. She pursed her lips.
"She used to be my best friend."
There you go. As I said, utter crap. But amusing utter crap! LOL!
I guess to show that anybody can write an okay story if they work hard to improve themselves. That it's not a natural talent of mine and that it's something that I work hard on, and that I've actually made some headway. And that I was the hugest, biggest Trek geek you would have ever met ten years ago!
The story is set in a series I began as a teen. It would be about Wesley going to the Academy, and the friends he'd make there, and the enemies and the trials and tribulations - you know. Coming of age fun. Basically what they're doing now with Captain Kirk in movie form. :) In this story, Eleanor runs into an old friend, Mara. (I know, a totally predictable name, SO Sueish, and her entrance is pretty Sueish, but I there's a lot more going on in the story than I knew how to capture properly, if that makes sense?). When Eleanor was a girl of 14, she was living on the Farragut, a ship her father was Captain of. They saved an Orion slave girl, who Elly tried to help care for and befriend (this is Mara of course). But Mara only knows dishonesty and kill or be killed because of her rough upbringing, so although she's close to Eleanor, she's also very dangerous and hurtful. Eleanor is shocked when, while she is in second year, Mara makes it into first. She can't figure out why someone like Mara would want to go into the academy. All her life she's been a prostitute, a liar, a thief and other unmentionable things. But it's the core of goodness in Mara that made Eleanor befriend her in the first place that felt that Starfleet was somewhere she could forget her past and do something good with her life for once.
Anyhoodles, this is from the beginning of the story. Way too much exposition and clumsy language, but hey - I WAS sixteen, and never very good in English.
~~*~~
She put down her synthale roughly,"Jamison, how many Klingons have you ever met? None! You lived on Earth, then Mars, then Earth, and you have only the pedantic ravings of your pompous ass of a father to go by! I actually met a few of them, a few of them are my very good friends and I've never heard anything of the sort."
Morrison watched Jaraan wipe the bar top next to him.
"What did he say?"he asked.
Jaraan shook his head,"Oh, he's just shooting his mouth off."
"I take it about Klingons..."
"Yeah,"he said,"He claims his Dad literally caught a Klingon with his pants down on Risa, taking a leak in a natural reserve and booked him for vandalising pristine rainforest."
"You're kidding..."Morrison shook his head,"I wouldn't admit to that..."
"When's Wesley coming back?"asked Neliica, daintily holding her Frendle Cocktail.
"Soon,"Eleanor replied,"He's been spending extra time in the Squad briefings cause they've moving onto more complex manoeuvres next week."
Jamison scowled,"I'm sure Klingons do have three balls, my Dad saw it!"
"They do."
He turned his head with much surprise, a young woman behind him smiled, her arms crossed confidently, her ice blue eyes shining with certainty against her wavy shoulder-length jet black hair and soft green skin. She was from Orion.
Eleanor swallowed, her face like ivory, mustering a scrap of her usual gusto to utter,"You'd know, Mara, I've heard the way you learn about different species...quite an exo-bioligist in your own way aren't you?"
Mara cocked an eyebrow indignantly,"Yes, you're a typical human aren't you? Stupid and assuming."
She pursed her lips bitterly,"I don't generally assume what I know as fact."
Jamison watched them, bewildered.
"And you know everything don't you?"Mara frowned, age beyond her apparent years in her eyes.
"Eleanor, would you mind telling me who this is?"Jamison cried.
What was she doing here? What the hell was she doing here?! Eleanor gazed at the green woman levelly, her green flecked blue eyes scowling. "This is Mara, first year, she's originally from Orion, we knew each other a long way back."
"This is true,"said Mara, a thin smile spreading on her doll-like round face which screamed of innocence,"And who is your charming companion?"
Jamison leered, his head visibly expanding.
"This is Mark Jamison, ,the Louse',"she said quietly,"too good for the likes of you."
"Elly,"he tisked,"What's up with you? She's one of us for crying out loud."
Eleanor threw daggers with her very glare, fear also ringing in her eyes,"She is ,one' of nobody except her own selfish desires. What are you doing in Starfleet anyway? What could you possibly gain by putting your life on the line in the pursuit of knowledge?"
She knew this woman too well. Or girl. She was just a girl, a silly lost girl who knew nothing of virtue or honour. Eleanor remembered when Mara had first arrived on the Farragut six years back, frightened and seeking refuge from the hells of Orion's black market and brothel pits. She had watched her cower on the transporter pad after they had saved her from the merchant ship she had stolen and inadvertently destroyed as she knew nothing of how to drive it. She sat curled up in the corner of the chamber like a gutter filthed stray cat, her pubescent green body scantily clad in shreds of brown cloth.
So helpless, so vulnerable. Had she only known what the years of torture and abuse had given rise to, such a strange and twisted individual.
"Wow, Elly, snap out of it!"Julie said.
Eleanor stood with a dark scowl, taking her drink. Just as she turned to leave she whacked into another body next to Mara. She glanced up, seeing a set of very familiar hazel eyes, a strange sense of de ja vu and comfort becoming her as she gazed into them.
"Snap out of what?"Wesley asked her, just arriving, stopping her by taking her arm.
"Nothing,"she said softly, looking to him with a warm assurance, and looked to Mara coldly, her lips beginning to tremble, "Just keep away from me and keep away from my friends Mara, it's a big place, I'm sure you can do that. I'll be seeing you guys." She strode away quietly, disappearing behind the huge centre planter in the lounge.
Wesley swallowed,"What was that all about?"
"The past,"said Mara quietly,"Which should be forgotten."
With that she walked calmly from the barlounge, with a sexual lilting bob of her hips that seemed to be trained into her.
Wesley glanced at the others,"I'm - I'm going to see if Elly's alright..."
She wasn't. She was huddled in the corner of a table for four booth, shuddering slightly as she sipped at her beer, her hands trembling. As she saw him coming she fluttered a shaken smile, her fingers flailing slightly as she struggled to fiddle with a sugar stick. He had never seen her so shaken in all the three years he had known her.
"What's wrong?"he asked her, sliding next to her on the long seat. She took an abrupt breath, shaking her head.
"I thought I'd never see her again."
A furrow settled in Wesley's brow, "Who is she?"he asked.
"Her name's Mara,"she replied, taking a small sugar stick from the bowl and taking the end of it in her lips absently. As if the sugar tasted foul, she pulled the sugar stick from her mouth and tossed it into the nearby planter despondently.
"How do you know her?"
Eleanor looked him dead in the eye with a look that could have reduced anyone else to tears. She pursed her lips.
"She used to be my best friend."
There you go. As I said, utter crap. But amusing utter crap! LOL!
