Old, stinky cats are all my fault.

So, like, my cat Melma is a total mess, and it's my fault.

She's dying of cancer, I'm pretty sure. For the past eight months or so, she's been losing condition. She's horribly underweight, and I don't know why. I feed her three times a day. I want to take her to the vet but I'm scared she won't make the trip.

She's stopped cleaning herself, to the point that flea dander has been building up in her fur. I've taken to brushing her as much as I can, but she doesn't like it and gets stressed out.

I tried to bath her today. She's normally a black and white cat. The flea dander is so thick in her fur, it melted and now it looks like her back end is covered in blood. I washed her as long as I could but it didn't work.

Now she fucking REEKS. The whole outside area reeks of dirty animal. I know I have to try rinsing her again, but I am really, really scared of giving her a heart attack. She's cleaning herself, which is nice, cause she hasn't been doing that lately. She's still hungry, eats heaps of food. She's just dying of cancer.

I worry so much about her. She's 20. I want to make her comfortable but everything I do seems to make it worse. I wish I'd never wet her. :( She looks terrible!! I am going to try to rinse her off again.

Doctor Who: Vampires of Venice.

( Just in case I get spoily. )