My cat is an idiot.

She just did this running jump at the top bunk, missed the landing on the pillow, slipped, then in a comical all-limb struggle, tried not to fall down as she clawed her way up falling sheets. She finally ended up in a big pile of kitty and fabric on the floor, grasping paw-pads akimbo. Scrabble, scrabble, THUD!

Fuck, she cracks me up!

I am rich in the best possible way.

To quote this article on a new psychological study:

What's "striking and paradoxical" about this research, he says, is that it shows that reaching materialistic and image-related milestones actually contributes to ill-being; despite their accomplishments, individuals experience more negative emotions like shame and anger and more physical symptoms of anxiety such as headaches, stomachaches, and loss of energy. By contrast, individuals who value personal growth, close relationships, community involvement, and physical health are more satisfied as they meet success in those areas. They experience a deeper sense of well-being, more positive feelings toward themselves, richer connections with others, and fewer physical signs of stress.

I'm not rich, I don't have my own place or a car. I don't have a husband yet or the fancy clothes that people think I should desire. No manicures, no expensive haircuts. No expensive nights out at clubs, nor expensive dinners.

But I have a family who love me, one and all. I get along with each and every one of them. I love them, I trust them, and I know no matter how bad things get, they'll be there for me. They have done so in the past month and a half. When I was having a night of panic attacks, my sister Helen hopped on public transport, from her place in Hamilton Hill to mine in Claremont. And she stayed a week with me, helped me make dinner, kept me company.

Every time my niece Ruby sees me, she draws me a new picture. It's always beautiful. I have another picture on the wall next to my bed that my niece Lily drew. It's of her Mum, me, Helen, Scotty and Lily and Solomon. The words "I Love You" are across, and Lily wrote her name, even though she could barely write yet. I wake up every morning and know there are a bunch of great kids who love and need me.

I remember once, I was visiting Rose Porteous. She was having a very bad day health wise. It was 2 and she was still in her dressing gown. She walked with me down her grand staircase, telling me all about her daughter who she barely speaks to. She spoke how she couldn't trust her, how all her daughter wanted was her money. Finally, she broke down in the middle of the grand ballroom. She cried as I put my arm around her, looking at me and telling me how *empty* her life was, how she had nobody. And it occurred to me in that moment... I was the rich one. I was the one with plenty. Here was this woman, surrounded by wealth that I could never even dream of. She had nothing. (I extended friendship towards her, and I was hoping to show her that people could be friends with her and didn't want her money - I didn't want her money! She lost her shit at me eventually cause she couldn't trust me. She can't trust anybody.)

I don't know why I'm so lucky. I really am blessed, every day. And I'm so thankful. I'm so very, very grateful. Not just for my family, but for my friends, online and off. You guys are just *so* good to me. You keep me company with your comments, you're an ear for me when I need one. I just want to let you all know how much I appreciate you. *hugs all round*