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Today at my jobsearch training course, I went and did a lesson with a new group that my group did last week, which I didn't cause I was sick. This group is quite different from mine. There are mostly women, and there are two other strong-personalitied women in the group, and a quiet but bitchy one next to me. The rundown:
- Actress. Loud. Opinionated. Bad-tempered. Diva in every negative sense and barely any of the positives.
- Horse trainer. Seemingly violent, impatient, unfriendly in manner.
- Mother. Quiet, mean stare, clippy tones.
These women, quite simply, acted somewhat negatively to me. I don't think they liked me very much. I was trying to be friendly, I was being my usual, genuine, bubbly self. I tried to talk to the horse trainer about her horses, because I love horses. I asked her what kind she trained, what she did with them, if she named any of them. No, she trains heaps of them, she's got a couple as pets, but she really didn't elaborate, she was very short about it all. She interrupted the group leader a lot for clarification in what the group was doing, and I found that a little annoying cause it'd confuse me AND Armando (the group leader). I pretty much got what Armando was on about first time, and she wouldn't, just like the actress wouldn't.
Now the actress. A sarcastic, animated girl, and she could be very funny but I had the distinct impression that she would have preferred me with my mouth shut. Now, I'm not a competitive woman. Actually, that's a lie. In a professional situation? I am competitiveness embodied. I can be a little ruthless, actually, and I do my best and put it all on the line. But in a social situation totally unrelated to that sort of thing? I am not competitive for people's attentions. I just act myself, and if I get attention - so be it. I think that was annoying the actress. I heard her and the mother quietly talking, and the words, "I'm going to fucking hit her!" pass between them. I felt very unwelcome and I wanted to hide.
The mother got very angry with me. I said that last week, I got such a bad headache that I yakked. She glared at me and was sort of like, "Too much information!" I was taken aback and said, "Oh, sorry, it's just - that's what happened, that's how bad it was." "Yes, and it's too much information!" No joking undertones, just a severity and a glare that made me wither inside.
The horse-trainer wrapped me on the knuckles with her pen when I wasn't paying attention to Armando and was finishing off a discussion with Mai (a girl in the group). I wagged my hand cause it fucking hurt. I said something to Armando that he found rather amusing, and something happened, I don't recall what, but then the horse-trainer said to the actress, loud and clear, "I'm gonna hit her!"
By now I really wanted to leave the room.
I was glad to get my exercises done and go back to my group in the next room. Owen (admin boy) and Paul (eco-guy) were there, and I told them what was going on. Owen (The SWEETY) said that I really lit up a room when I was there, (isn't that adorably sweet of him to say?!) and Paul agreed. They're both nice to me. They thought what the girls were saying was really awful. I hate that other group, except Mai who is a real sweetheart. I am worried I offended her cause I was shocked that she was married at 23. She's such a young thing! I said that to her, and she just blinked, smiled, and looked embarrassed. I don't know - I just don't understand the whole concept of finding someone at that age. I'm only just starting to understand who *I* am now, I couldn't imagine impeding that with marriage and spending all my time with someone else. Different strokes of course, and I don't think any LESS of her (never would I), it just took my by surprise for some reason.
I don't know - it wasn't a good day, but it wasn't terrible. Okay - if you don't like bodily function talk, skip this paragraph. I really needed a shit all day, there's something about those rooms that makes me want to take a shit. I theorise that bright green and yellow walls, really BRIGHT, make you want to eject faecal matter. It triggers something in the brain or something, cause these rooms have feature walls in bright green and yellow, and no other place makes me want to defecate so badly. Weird huh? Sorry to talk about poo.
Anyway, no more poo talk. Scotty has turned 18 today, so Scotty's fangirls? Do wish the big spunk a happy 18th. He's legal now! Legal for all ages! Come and get him! He's fresh, he's virginal, he's ready for wild loving! (He'll kill me for this too LOLOL).
Anyway, I'm going to type up some story and forget about being threatened twice :( I'm all apologetic and self-conscious now. Tina said that the girls were cunts. Maybe I might go out with Ryan tonight after all. I don't know. :T I have to get up early tomorrow, so yeah - who knows.
Love youse!
- Actress. Loud. Opinionated. Bad-tempered. Diva in every negative sense and barely any of the positives.
- Horse trainer. Seemingly violent, impatient, unfriendly in manner.
- Mother. Quiet, mean stare, clippy tones.
These women, quite simply, acted somewhat negatively to me. I don't think they liked me very much. I was trying to be friendly, I was being my usual, genuine, bubbly self. I tried to talk to the horse trainer about her horses, because I love horses. I asked her what kind she trained, what she did with them, if she named any of them. No, she trains heaps of them, she's got a couple as pets, but she really didn't elaborate, she was very short about it all. She interrupted the group leader a lot for clarification in what the group was doing, and I found that a little annoying cause it'd confuse me AND Armando (the group leader). I pretty much got what Armando was on about first time, and she wouldn't, just like the actress wouldn't.
Now the actress. A sarcastic, animated girl, and she could be very funny but I had the distinct impression that she would have preferred me with my mouth shut. Now, I'm not a competitive woman. Actually, that's a lie. In a professional situation? I am competitiveness embodied. I can be a little ruthless, actually, and I do my best and put it all on the line. But in a social situation totally unrelated to that sort of thing? I am not competitive for people's attentions. I just act myself, and if I get attention - so be it. I think that was annoying the actress. I heard her and the mother quietly talking, and the words, "I'm going to fucking hit her!" pass between them. I felt very unwelcome and I wanted to hide.
The mother got very angry with me. I said that last week, I got such a bad headache that I yakked. She glared at me and was sort of like, "Too much information!" I was taken aback and said, "Oh, sorry, it's just - that's what happened, that's how bad it was." "Yes, and it's too much information!" No joking undertones, just a severity and a glare that made me wither inside.
The horse-trainer wrapped me on the knuckles with her pen when I wasn't paying attention to Armando and was finishing off a discussion with Mai (a girl in the group). I wagged my hand cause it fucking hurt. I said something to Armando that he found rather amusing, and something happened, I don't recall what, but then the horse-trainer said to the actress, loud and clear, "I'm gonna hit her!"
By now I really wanted to leave the room.
I was glad to get my exercises done and go back to my group in the next room. Owen (admin boy) and Paul (eco-guy) were there, and I told them what was going on. Owen (The SWEETY) said that I really lit up a room when I was there, (isn't that adorably sweet of him to say?!) and Paul agreed. They're both nice to me. They thought what the girls were saying was really awful. I hate that other group, except Mai who is a real sweetheart. I am worried I offended her cause I was shocked that she was married at 23. She's such a young thing! I said that to her, and she just blinked, smiled, and looked embarrassed. I don't know - I just don't understand the whole concept of finding someone at that age. I'm only just starting to understand who *I* am now, I couldn't imagine impeding that with marriage and spending all my time with someone else. Different strokes of course, and I don't think any LESS of her (never would I), it just took my by surprise for some reason.
I don't know - it wasn't a good day, but it wasn't terrible. Okay - if you don't like bodily function talk, skip this paragraph. I really needed a shit all day, there's something about those rooms that makes me want to take a shit. I theorise that bright green and yellow walls, really BRIGHT, make you want to eject faecal matter. It triggers something in the brain or something, cause these rooms have feature walls in bright green and yellow, and no other place makes me want to defecate so badly. Weird huh? Sorry to talk about poo.
Anyway, no more poo talk. Scotty has turned 18 today, so Scotty's fangirls? Do wish the big spunk a happy 18th. He's legal now! Legal for all ages! Come and get him! He's fresh, he's virginal, he's ready for wild loving! (He'll kill me for this too LOLOL).
Anyway, I'm going to type up some story and forget about being threatened twice :( I'm all apologetic and self-conscious now. Tina said that the girls were cunts. Maybe I might go out with Ryan tonight after all. I don't know. :T I have to get up early tomorrow, so yeah - who knows.
Love youse!
