Fecal Matter. Air Cooling device. SPLAT.
Aug. 14th, 2002 04:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
logansrogueI've just been kicked off of wolverineandrogue.com. Interesting, cause they're taking down all my work there too. Fair enough, I asked for it I suppose. I mean, I was upset for a minute, and then I thought, "Well, I really need to concentrate on my music career anyway, so it's one less fandom I have to churn stuff out for, and if I *do* write something, yay, if not - ah well. I have my own dot.com, I have my own friends... ah fuck it. Who cares?"
I was told that I wasn't allowed to write my thoughts on this in my livejournal. I was given explicit orders, really. And apparently, I've fucked all my WR friends over, because I expressed an opinion.
What I don't understand is why people immersed in fandoms have no inkling of individuality. I see this crap all the time. I was pulled into it for years. When I was a GJRSer, we would fight with the subtexters. Over what?
TV. Television. What's the fucking point? I mean, most of the time I argued that the subtexters needed to get off their high-horses and just let us GJRSers be, but sometimes it got real nasty. And it's not worth it. The same old shit all over again. Two groups of people with ideas in their heads about each other and ill will. Sure, I dredged this shitfest up with my opinion. I feel like I should regret that, but for some reason, I just don't.
For the first time in years, I feel really free in my own opinion.
What I said on Godawful was not a positive review. It was cruel in some ways. But it wasn't about a person. It was about a fanfiction. I have a right to review fan-fic. Sure, people are upset at what I did, and I do feel bad about that. And what goes around comes around - I got ejected from a fandom group. But I have this strange sense of security that I know that I was at least being honest, and that this frustration and anger that had been bubbling inside of me for years is now spoken of. Does this make me some heinous bitch, or an immature little cunt? Probably - say whatever you like, it's your prerogative.
I'll move on no doubt, get sick of worrying about stuff I can't change and concentrate on my own pursuits again. Right now I'm kinda useless without a voice, so I don't really know what to do with myself. Soon I'll be too busy to think about anything but what job I'll apply for tomorrow, and internet crap will fade into the background. After all, that's kinda where it belongs.
People can wander by and read whatever they want from here, and I know I can keep in touch with my friends through here, and I can know how they are going. That's what it's for, after all. Some people use it to look at what people they don't like are up to. I really - don't understand that. For those that even can be bothered loading my livejournal up, for going through the trouble of finding the link and so forth, and then wading through endless paragraphs about how cute my new niece is, how much I hate my life sometimes, how much I hate Centrelink and how much I love music, if you can get through all that for some demented purpose of your own, you're welcome to it. Really. I just have no idea why you would *want* to do that. It just screams of lameness to me. But it's your life to spend how you will.
The only thing that bothers me with this whole debacle is the karmic ramifications of it. Cause, I know if I act like this, some hellish reviews will likely come my way. I've survived them before. I've made friends of people that have ripped my stories apart (generally they were right). I guess I'll try to keep it impersonal. People probably wonder why the hell I even bother. Why do I do it to people? Complain about things I can't change, about fan-fic? Why not do something positive?
Well, that takes energy, and my energy is for me. My kvetching people to get better isn't going to make them better. They have to do that. My bitch isn't just with the level of fic out there, it's the fact that people just don't *care* what they're doing. It just illustrates an ill regard for culture in general. As an artist, that shits me. If you don't like that, well that's fine, just don't expect me to care.
Anyway, my throat is killing me. I need to make myself some tea and cut up some oranges or something. All the terrible snot that had been in my sinuses is finally draining, and going past my throat, and making it sore. But at least I'm on the rocky road to recovery. Sadly, I've lost a helluva lot of weight recently (and I don't have that much to lose) and my immunity is down. I need to take some propolis I think. It's good stuff.
Thanks Alibaba and Shaz for having good chats with me. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, and then I think, ah. Maybe it's the world that's going crazy. Sometimes it's hard to tell.
Nancy.
(Hoping not everyone hates her, but figures she's always been like this so if they don't know by now then they were going to find out in the end anyways. I'm an idiot, and I say stupid things. I am the fool.)
I was told that I wasn't allowed to write my thoughts on this in my livejournal. I was given explicit orders, really. And apparently, I've fucked all my WR friends over, because I expressed an opinion.
What I don't understand is why people immersed in fandoms have no inkling of individuality. I see this crap all the time. I was pulled into it for years. When I was a GJRSer, we would fight with the subtexters. Over what?
TV. Television. What's the fucking point? I mean, most of the time I argued that the subtexters needed to get off their high-horses and just let us GJRSers be, but sometimes it got real nasty. And it's not worth it. The same old shit all over again. Two groups of people with ideas in their heads about each other and ill will. Sure, I dredged this shitfest up with my opinion. I feel like I should regret that, but for some reason, I just don't.
For the first time in years, I feel really free in my own opinion.
What I said on Godawful was not a positive review. It was cruel in some ways. But it wasn't about a person. It was about a fanfiction. I have a right to review fan-fic. Sure, people are upset at what I did, and I do feel bad about that. And what goes around comes around - I got ejected from a fandom group. But I have this strange sense of security that I know that I was at least being honest, and that this frustration and anger that had been bubbling inside of me for years is now spoken of. Does this make me some heinous bitch, or an immature little cunt? Probably - say whatever you like, it's your prerogative.
I'll move on no doubt, get sick of worrying about stuff I can't change and concentrate on my own pursuits again. Right now I'm kinda useless without a voice, so I don't really know what to do with myself. Soon I'll be too busy to think about anything but what job I'll apply for tomorrow, and internet crap will fade into the background. After all, that's kinda where it belongs.
People can wander by and read whatever they want from here, and I know I can keep in touch with my friends through here, and I can know how they are going. That's what it's for, after all. Some people use it to look at what people they don't like are up to. I really - don't understand that. For those that even can be bothered loading my livejournal up, for going through the trouble of finding the link and so forth, and then wading through endless paragraphs about how cute my new niece is, how much I hate my life sometimes, how much I hate Centrelink and how much I love music, if you can get through all that for some demented purpose of your own, you're welcome to it. Really. I just have no idea why you would *want* to do that. It just screams of lameness to me. But it's your life to spend how you will.
The only thing that bothers me with this whole debacle is the karmic ramifications of it. Cause, I know if I act like this, some hellish reviews will likely come my way. I've survived them before. I've made friends of people that have ripped my stories apart (generally they were right). I guess I'll try to keep it impersonal. People probably wonder why the hell I even bother. Why do I do it to people? Complain about things I can't change, about fan-fic? Why not do something positive?
Well, that takes energy, and my energy is for me. My kvetching people to get better isn't going to make them better. They have to do that. My bitch isn't just with the level of fic out there, it's the fact that people just don't *care* what they're doing. It just illustrates an ill regard for culture in general. As an artist, that shits me. If you don't like that, well that's fine, just don't expect me to care.
Anyway, my throat is killing me. I need to make myself some tea and cut up some oranges or something. All the terrible snot that had been in my sinuses is finally draining, and going past my throat, and making it sore. But at least I'm on the rocky road to recovery. Sadly, I've lost a helluva lot of weight recently (and I don't have that much to lose) and my immunity is down. I need to take some propolis I think. It's good stuff.
Thanks Alibaba and Shaz for having good chats with me. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, and then I think, ah. Maybe it's the world that's going crazy. Sometimes it's hard to tell.
Nancy.
(Hoping not everyone hates her, but figures she's always been like this so if they don't know by now then they were going to find out in the end anyways. I'm an idiot, and I say stupid things. I am the fool.)
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My word
Date: 2002-08-15 04:24 am (UTC)Speaking from a position of blissful ignorance, I can't see that booting you off WR.com was a justified response to you critiquing a fic on Godawful.com -- but then, I don't know whose fic, what you said, or even who's running WR.com right now. Undoubtedly I'm missing half the story.
Still, given that your current fandom efforts seem to be in the LotR direction, I guess you don't really need 'em at WR.com anymore, anyway...
You don't say...
But it's amusing in some ways, and sad in others (Cause some people let themselves get hurt by it all, and it's just not worth it). I think life's too short to worry about it.
Hugs, and HI!
Nancy.