No, that's not being unwise. When people are accustomed to a certain treatment, a different treatment makes them wig out. I know what it's like to expect a certain level of affection, and then get weirded out by a healthy level of affection. I get seriously wigged when Dad is nice to me these days (he chilled out over the years, hence why I'm okay with him).
It takes a while to acclimatise yourself to a non-abusive environment. Don't feel bad and don't feel like you're unwise. My Dad is a good Dad as much he is a stinker, so there was a balance and I could navigate dating easier. Plus I had a strong mother who didn't put up with shit, so I had that role model there. Dad never, ever crossed Mum.
Good luck with the crush! I need myself one of those, I'm dying of no-sex here!!
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dancing_serpent
(no subject)
Date: 2010-07-10 10:47 am (UTC)It takes a while to acclimatise yourself to a non-abusive environment. Don't feel bad and don't feel like you're unwise. My Dad is a good Dad as much he is a stinker, so there was a balance and I could navigate dating easier. Plus I had a strong mother who didn't put up with shit, so I had that role model there. Dad never, ever crossed Mum.
Good luck with the crush! I need myself one of those, I'm dying of no-sex here!!