Well put, I like to think people use this excuses because they don't know it any better however in most cases it is being afraid to accept the next best person is that kind of a monster, selfish person.
An interesting question is whether a rapist can ever redeem him/herself? Especially in case of Polanski, one wonders this. We're told he's married, got children but all that is not redeeming, not in the slightes.
If somebody hurts someone else they have to fulfill a process of accepting their errors, being truely sorry and to face consequences none of this happened here.
Contrary his wife shows with this kind of comments they still haven't accepted that he hurt that girl, took in a way so much quality life from her...it is still all about him, not about that little girl.

But it is easier to pretend all this never happened, to get on with life without looking back on first glance...however as difficult as it seems it is if one really thinks about it easier to face consequences, be truthfully what anybody did directly rather than to have a whole life full of demons.

Somebody like that as much as they like to pretend otherwise will never become truly happy again, lies eat one away...and that is in a way consequences of their crime as well. We may not see it but that's in a way justice. That's probably karma.

I hope for you, despite everything you find happiness and thanks for this thought-provoking entries of yours.