logansrogue (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
logansrogue) wrote2009-02-23 06:46 pm
logansrogue) wrote2009-02-23 06:46 pm
Motherfuckers!
Okay, so I got my diazepam and I called SARC and had a healthy long bawl and bitch and moan about everything. The lady told me I was dealing with everything really well, that I was dealing with a lot and that I didn't sound in the least bit crazy. Which is nice cause I don't want to be crazy. (Who does?)
But but, I am currently fucking high on diazepam cause the doctor told me to take it. Oh. My. GOD. Talk about fucking overkill. I feel so fucking dizzy and stupid. It's like I'm trashed on alcohol or something. Mum's like, "Go with it. Enjoy it." And I'm like, "How can I possibly PRODUCE when I'm like this? I can't get anything done when I can't even think straight!" I can't write like this, I can't think. But the lady on the phone said that I was putting too much pressure on myself. That I needed to give myself time to heal and stuff, and that everyone goes through this trauma thing differently.
Dr. Myers is on board and she knows how serious my problems are so she's going to try to see me as soon as possible. I could kiss her or something. Crying has been helpful. I obviously need to do more of it.
Oh great. Now I'm tired. Maybe I can kip on the couch or something.
Mum said she'd help me clean my room. I have the best Mum ever.
I had a dream last night that, I swear, was solid Doctor Lovin'. We were having adventures - I love having adventures with him. And then every now and again he kissed me, which was like "YES WOOHOO!" LOL. In my silly dreams the Doctor thinks I'm wonderful. Silly dreams, but they make me wake up with a smile on my face and that's something.
ARRRRRGH! This diazepam is shit. Too too much. Half a fuckin' tab next time, I swear.
But but, I am currently fucking high on diazepam cause the doctor told me to take it. Oh. My. GOD. Talk about fucking overkill. I feel so fucking dizzy and stupid. It's like I'm trashed on alcohol or something. Mum's like, "Go with it. Enjoy it." And I'm like, "How can I possibly PRODUCE when I'm like this? I can't get anything done when I can't even think straight!" I can't write like this, I can't think. But the lady on the phone said that I was putting too much pressure on myself. That I needed to give myself time to heal and stuff, and that everyone goes through this trauma thing differently.
Dr. Myers is on board and she knows how serious my problems are so she's going to try to see me as soon as possible. I could kiss her or something. Crying has been helpful. I obviously need to do more of it.
Oh great. Now I'm tired. Maybe I can kip on the couch or something.
Mum said she'd help me clean my room. I have the best Mum ever.
I had a dream last night that, I swear, was solid Doctor Lovin'. We were having adventures - I love having adventures with him. And then every now and again he kissed me, which was like "YES WOOHOO!" LOL. In my silly dreams the Doctor thinks I'm wonderful. Silly dreams, but they make me wake up with a smile on my face and that's something.
ARRRRRGH! This diazepam is shit. Too too much. Half a fuckin' tab next time, I swear.