The 'Rape' Fantasy

[logansrogue]

Interesting to see women respond to this Dolce & Gabana ad on ONTD.



See, I'm... I'm funny on this issue. I think it's okay for women to have their fantasies. But there's a distinct list of things that I do not fantasise about, that I never will and find extremely disturbing. Those are:

- Abuse
- Rape
- Incest
- Myself being dominated.

Now, maybe it's been my upbringing with my overbearing father making me buck any sort of authority figure or dominance (armchair psychology ahoy) or the fact that I've been brought up by my staunch feminist of a mother, but nothing turns me off more than a male seeking dominance or control. There has only ever been ONE situation where being overpowered by a man in a sexual situation didn't bother me, and that's because I implicitly trusted the man and I knew that he'd rather poke out his own eyeballs than hurt me (or any living thing for that matter). And it was playful anyhow.

I don't *like* being vulnerable. I don't like being reminded of being vulnerable. When I'm naked and in bed with someone, I'd prefer to feel empowered. Not in the sense that I dominate over the other partner - I couldn't stand that. I like two people being intensely excited by the other just being there and the power is in what they do to each other.


Am I nuts? Crazy? Unusual? Let me know what you think.

Comments

Re: Well, you asked!

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

I find it really interesting that you've identified your kinks and the line where you feel 'squicked', and then tried to understand it rather than justify it like so many people tend to. It's very admirable that you own your kinks but are aware and unashamed to speak of why they might not be healthy.

I agree with you, though. Between two consenting adults, damn near any act that brings them pleasure is fine by me, as long as nobody is seriously hurt.

See, I have kinky fantasies but they're always imagined ones and I'd never act them out. There is only one kind of person I would ever let myself be dominated by - an attractive woman. There was this one woman I met at a racy party and I let her do things to me I've never let anyone do. It was intensely erotic yet I know that I would never, ever have let her do those things if she'd been a man. Don't ask me why. My kinky fantasies go the same way - Xena/Callisto, for instance. Their aggression turns to sex, but both of them are always enjoying it. The point, though, is that I'm never the one in the situation. It's always me *watching* it, and I think that's rather telling of my psychology.

I wouldn't say non-incest slash or lesbian fiction would be unhealthy to indulge in. But it is true that a chunk of fic authors (not all) might benefit on focusing on their real-life relationships a bit more! :D