The Joy of Periods.

Cramping. Bloating. Deferred pain in limbs, back and joints. Wooziness due to drugs. The discomfort of pads (though yes, I know, the Diva Cup would make that a thing of the past, but I can't have things in my uterus or vagina, my body chews on them and makes my cramps worse). Bowel discomfort. Bowel irritation. Fatigue. Aura from a migraine that nearly happened.

Oh, Aunt Irma, Aunt Flo, you indomitable bitch. Where the fuck were you? I'm actually glad to see you, despite all that bullshit.

AHH I FEEL LIKE MY UTERUS IS TAKING CRAZY PILLS

I feel like it's trying to create a Mobius strip. Or maybe an Escher-like knot of impossibility. I am in fucking agony. The pain! It shoots up! And down! It's in my thighs! It's in my nipples! It's in my buttocks! It's in my fucking TOES man! ARGH!!!!

Fuck You, Channel 7.

City Homicide:

Two women cops are questioning a victim. Two old dudes are watching behind that window-mirror glass stuff. When one of the old dudes comes in, he says:

"All female tag-team! Better than jelly wrestling, eh?"

...

Fuck you, Channel 7. Fuck you!