Hrrmph.

[logansrogue]

My nine year old nephew Joshie has developed a love affair with Ripley. Seriously, he goes on about her all the time. "She's fiesty!" he cries. "She's savage!" He likes how tough she is. It's one of the few things that's amused me lately.

I've been very depressed. But duh - you knew that. I went to my doctor today and she really pissed me off. I don't think she meant to.

She just- she said that I look for trouble, basically. That I ask for the drama that I seem to have. This - upsets me. A lot. Let's look at my 'drama'...

- migraines for three months
- depression
- accidental consumption of pot brownies (Was NOT deliberate)
- a break-up

Now - you tell me - are any of those things self inflicted? I mean, sure, I could have saved myself the pain of the pot brownies had I practiced some self-control. But other than that - I do not ask for the nightly mental break-downs. I don't ask for the lack of sleep, or the suicidal feelings. I don't ask for that, I'd rather be without it, but it swamps me.

I feel utterly alone and without help. She said she wouldn't fill out any more certificates for me anymore, which means I have to go to work next week and I'm terrified of what I'll do there. Eh. Maybe it'll do me some good. Who knows.

I just never hated life so much. :(

Comments

[fyrdrakken]

Hmm, I'm thinking the migraines and break up could be products of the depression. Definitely look for a do who takes you more seriously, and if you get the depression treated properly it should help all round. (Though going back to work might be helpful if only to distract you from your other problems -- and, no doubt, give you a whole set of new ones...)

[fyrdrakken]

That should be, "look for a doc who takes you more seriously," of course.