Hrrmph.

[logansrogue]

My nine year old nephew Joshie has developed a love affair with Ripley. Seriously, he goes on about her all the time. "She's fiesty!" he cries. "She's savage!" He likes how tough she is. It's one of the few things that's amused me lately.

I've been very depressed. But duh - you knew that. I went to my doctor today and she really pissed me off. I don't think she meant to.

She just- she said that I look for trouble, basically. That I ask for the drama that I seem to have. This - upsets me. A lot. Let's look at my 'drama'...

- migraines for three months
- depression
- accidental consumption of pot brownies (Was NOT deliberate)
- a break-up

Now - you tell me - are any of those things self inflicted? I mean, sure, I could have saved myself the pain of the pot brownies had I practiced some self-control. But other than that - I do not ask for the nightly mental break-downs. I don't ask for the lack of sleep, or the suicidal feelings. I don't ask for that, I'd rather be without it, but it swamps me.

I feel utterly alone and without help. She said she wouldn't fill out any more certificates for me anymore, which means I have to go to work next week and I'm terrified of what I'll do there. Eh. Maybe it'll do me some good. Who knows.

I just never hated life so much. :(

Comments

[azinazelle.livejournal.com]

Babe, I miss you so much on AIM. Sorry to hear things aren't going well for you. : (

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

No, things are not going well for me. Things are going righteously SHIT for me, to be honest. Mum just gave me a valium. I was *this* close to freaking out at my boyfriends house. I just couldn't handle it. I did end up bawling and I left. I feel like such a frikking idiot. :( Anyway - I talk to you soon love.